Pride

According to an online dictionary the word “Pride” is defined as “a feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one’s own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired.”

A second definition from the same site is, “consciousness of one’s own dignity.”

Pride in oneself is an important characteristic of Satanic philosophy, and I think both of the above definitions apply strongly to those who follow this path. We are proud of our true selves and we try to live fearlessly in the world even when the world and it’s prevailing values often seem to be against us.

Sexuality is for many people a fundamental aspect of their true nature. For centuries the prevailing values of the western world were prejudiced against all but the narrowest band of possible sexual and gender identities. Fortunately this is becoming less the case. This weekend there will be “Pride” celebrations in many countries and cities around the world.

We know of many people on the LGBTQ+ spectrum who are also Satanists and who credit Satanism with giving them the confidence to express themselves and take pride in their true selves. We ourselves are amongst that group and we shall be celebrating Pride this weekend.

With both the above definitions in mind, I am exceptionally proud of my daughter and Satanic sister, Leonie. She is a strong and intelligent woman who knows her own mind and her own body. I urge you to read her thoughts on “Pride” here. LINK

As a family and as a coven we thank Satan for the insights and confidence that allow us to live our lives and celebrate our sexuality and gender with genuine pride.


A Sinful New Year

This is our version of a cheerful, uplifting post to get the year started.


We had a debate about the photo to accompany this post. We all like erotic imagery (porn) but are nervous about offending the WordPress folk. We are aware that the mere sight of a nipple can send some folk into a state of apoplexy but hopefully those people won’t be reading our blog anyway. In any case we settled on a suggestive picture with no nipples. Enjoy!

But you are not supposed to enjoy such things, are you? It’s a sin.

Our Saturnalia celebrations this year were a slimmed down version of our normal winter debauchery; just the three of us and a few local members of our group in order not to break any covid restrictions. And for good measure we are all in self imposed isolation now to make sure we don’t spread any randomly caught germs to others. The positive lesson we learned is that you can still be sinful and stay safe if you plan sensibly.

Saturnalia involves a lot of music and dancing, good food and strong drinks, sex and laughter; things which make us human and happy. Religions such as Christianity tend to forbid such behaviour which they regard as immoral, selfish and shameful among other things as well as being s transgression against their idea of god. Luckily our “religion” is different.

We were all feeling down towards the end of 2020. Coronavirus and the lockdown restrictions connected with it have taken their toll on us as much as anybody. The immediate future still looks bleak. In terms of the three of us, the pandemic has real and actual impacts on most aspects of our daily lives. Our jobs, our studies and all the things we tend to enjoy are at risk. In addition we all know people who are suffering from coronavirus itself; and sadly, we know a few people who have died from it. But we can’t go round in a fug of depression. We might as well enjoy our sinful natures as fully as we sensibly can; and in doing so we have arrived in 2021 in better and healthier moods.

I guess in one way or another most people reading this are sinners. According to Christianity everybody is a dreadful sinner helplessly but inevitably stumbling from one sin to another. Their doctrine of original sin holds that everybody is born bad and life is a long and hopeless struggle against their own sinful nature. Hopeless unless you accept Jesus as your saviour, ignore your basic instincts and allow The Church to regulate your life and tell you what is right and what is wrong. Thus everyone who is not a Christian is a sinner. We are particularly bad sinners because we follow the enemy of Christianity and actively enjoy our sinfulness. Most people are somewhere in-between on the sinful scale. Our suggestion is join our side and be happy sinners!

Leonie has started contributing to a sexual advice magazine (she is planning to say more about that in her own blog). She directed us to an article (in German) which made a few points that resonate with us. You don’t have to be a Satanist to enjoy your sinful nature. Perhaps the main point it was making is that the world has changed and that while some of the old architecture and formatting still exists, the reality of many people’s lives doesn’t really fit with it. This is particularly true in matters of sex and relationships…

For example, the vast majority of books, films and TV shows still assume that most people want to be in monogamous, heterosexual, long term relationships blessed by the church or the state and that anything outside of that is somehow wrong. While there might be a growing acceptance (in some places) of different forms of sexuality, sexual and gender identity; it is still assumed that such people will want to live their lives according to the old monogamous marriage structures borrowed from outdated religious tropes. But is that true? How many people do you know who end up living outside those norms? Probably more than you think.

Perhaps Christianity is correct in saying that a lot of people’s lives are dominated by what those Christians call sin. Our argument is that what they call sin is actually not a bad thing at all, it is part of what makes us human and it is a sign of progress that more people are seeing sin in a positive way.

Sin is NOT evil or bad. Enjoying your true sexuality does not mean you are a potential murderer. Being in a non standard relationship doesn’t mean you will cheat on your taxes. Enjoying good food and wine does not make you turn into a rapist or an arms dealer. Participating in aspects of BDSM does make you corrupt or open to bribes. Having fun, indulging your senses. does not make you mean or uncaring.

Certainly in these difficult times you owe it to yourself and those around you to take sensible precautions but you also owe it to yourself to have fun and enjoy your sinful nature when you can.


Ritual

People sometimes ask us what we do in our rituals. I generally don’t answer, or at least I don’t say much. I have learned that people are generally only interested in the most salacious details, and even then they are not really interested in why those things may sometimes occur. In this post I want to say why ritual is an important aspect of our Satanic life; what it means and what it does for us. I am not going to write down a ritual for others to copy but I may give a flavour of some aspects of rituals our family and coven members perform.

When I was a Buddhist there was a small amount of simple ritual in my daily routines. For example; chanting at certain times of the day, ringing a bell or banging a gong before or after chanting, meditating in certain positions at different times for different reasons. I understood the reasons behind these rituals but was not keen on the more extravagant rituals I associated with Christianity and other religions. And then I became a Satanist!

Satanic rituals can be as plain or extravagant as you choose to make them. The most famous Satanic ritual is probably the Black Mass. This is, in large parts an inversion of a Christian/Catholic Mass. It is generally misunderstood. Most Satanic groups and covens have their own version of the rite. As far as I know there isn’t one special version that all others are derived from, although because it is an inversion of a Christian ritual there are bound to be similarities from group to group and person to person.  In our coven we only use it once a year as a sign and part of a continuing process of rejecting orthodoxy. We sometimes use a version of it to induct or confirm new members. It is probably the most extravagant of our rituals and it scared me the first time I witnessed such a thing. That is part of the reason for doing it…

Anton LaVey, understood the psychological underpinning of ritual. It is a drama that is intended to change your mind-set. It is absolutely supposed to change the way you think about things. I think you could call it a form of brain-washing. That sounds rather scary and sinister. Well, as a Left Hand Pather, the “sinister” part is deliberate. The difference with this kind of brainwashing is that we enter into it willingly, already knowing to a large degree what the desired effects will be. It is brain washing in the sense that you are washing out unwanted thoughts, hang ups and impediments to growth. But a more positive way to look at it is Brain Training. You are training your mind to think differently and more powerfully. Often you are replacing unhelpful thoughts and habits with more constructive and positive ones.

Let’s go back to the gong in Buddhism…

The sound resonates at a certain frequency. You can choose the gong or the bell that pleases you most. You sit in a meditative pose you have learned and let the sound go through you. You are aware that the sound itself has healing properties. You hear the sound through your whole body (the body is a good conductor of sound). The sound resonates physically and mentally. You know through practice and deliberate habit that the sound induces another state of mind. You breathe slowly and deliberately. Your mind is calming. You observe unwanted thoughts and let them go. The electrical rhythms of your brain change. You are ready to focus…

You begin to chant. Depending on the type of Buddhism you follow the chant may be quite long, difficult and in another language or it maybe a simple repetition of a phrase such as “Om”. In any case, you know what it means to you because you have learned it and practiced it many times. And you repeat it again. You hear your voice. You feel your voice. You enter an auto-hypnotic state. You are acting on autopilot. You are your voice. Your voice is you. You are the chant. You are the meaning. You are the outcome you desire. The electrical activity in your brain has entered a state some people never experience. There is no separation between you and the objective of your focus.

This is a very simple ritual but the effects can be quite dramatic as anybody who seriously practices any similar form of meditation will testify. But you have to learn it. You need to be disciplined. You need to learn how to focus.

More elaborate rituals build on these simple truths that have been known to spiritual practitioners for hundreds of years and to modern psychologists for a slightly shorter time.

In our coven and in our personal lives we use techniques I learned as a Buddhist, combined with things Cassie learned as a Pagan and new things we have discovered through Satanism. But it is all really about invoking a different state of mind through the psychology of drama and repetition. It is about associating ideas with visual and aural clues; about creating pathways in the brain that lead to desired outcomes. It is about creating and manipulating energy within the group. And for the theistic Satanists it is also about opening connections and paths to energies and entities that usually can’t be experienced in other ways.

So the dressing up or undressing, the pictures and statues, the way the location is prepared, the light and the dark, the sounds and the words, the smells, the actions all combine to shed the vestiges of the mundane world and enter a deeper more spiritual and magical state of mind. It is learned. It is practiced. It’s meaning becomes inseparable from the act.

In our coven we usually begin our rituals robed, we ask our members to wear black or red robes. During the ritual most members disrobe at various stages but it is not compulsory and nothing is said if somebody prefers to remain dressed (there can be many reasons for this). However, most of our members will be naked for at least part of the ritual. We usually begin, as many Pagans do, by ceremonially sweeping the area to be used with brooms. This part of the drama reminds us we are witches creating a sacred space to do our work. We are normally silent during this phase but there may be some music or sound playing in the background to heighten the mood we want to create. We then call the quarters and form a magic circle, but as Satanic witches we do it in the reverse direction to that which Wiccans usually do. For privacy and convenience most of our rituals are done indoors. Once the circle has been formed one person is chosen to set up what we call the Ceremonial Altar on a table near the centre of the circle. We have two Altars. The High Priestess or somebody chosen by her is deemed to be the Spiritual Altar; her body becoming The Chalice, a channel to Satan and the entities we commune with, while The Ceremonial Altar is a table on which a ceremonial knife (athame), a statue of Baphomet, other ceremonial objects, Candles (usually 5 black and one white) and any special things needed for the ritual are placed. While the chosen person is setting up the Ceremonial Altar the rest of us chant names of The Hosts Of Hell; getting louder and louder until the High Priestess signals us to stop.

By this stage, the drama, the atmosphere, the darkness, the words used, the sights and sounds around us have already re-aligned our thought patterns. Often at this point we do a ritual of blasphemy. This might just be shouting out things our enemies would dislike or disapprove of. It might involve some physical actions. People are usually free to use their own imaginations at this point. After a fairly short time, The High Priestess again signals us to stop. At this point we don’t care what others might think of us. We are in the Devils domain and we are happy to be there and to be free of the false doctrines that infuse the mundane world. We are in another place now and another state of mind.

In many religious rituals there is an invitation or invocation to the deity the group believe in. In our case that is Satan, and there are particular words and actions we will use every time.

The shape of the ritual after that will depend on the purpose of the gathering. Sometimes words, incantations and spells will be chanted. Sometimes magical work will proceed with both Altars employed in different ways. Some rituals are for praise and alignment to chosen Satanic goals. Some rituals mark the passing of the seasons or celebrate landmarks of the year. Some are very theatrical with all members having learned the parts they will play. Some are short and simple.

The channelling of energy in various ways is often an important component of our rituals. This can include sexual energy which as Satanic witches is not something we are shy about. I get the impression it is the part that some outsiders are most interested in. I will not go into details except to say that any sexual activity in ritual has a purpose and has the full consent of everyone involved. Most sexual content is highly (sometimes only) symbolic. In many rituals there is very little use of sexual energy and more emphasis on other types of energy.

In our particular coven we focus a lot on the creation and use of sigils as the focus of magical work and clarifying unified intent and purpose. The creation, use and sometimes burning of these sigils often forms the main part of the ritual. Coven members take it in turns to write parts of the rituals. Cassie and I go through them and sometimes suggest changes before the ritual takes place.

Thus, the ritual becomes a piece of drama. It has a script. Everybody has a part to play. We learn our lines. Everybody learns and discusses the meaning of what we aim to do. Everything from planning to execution of the ritual is a team effort which binds us in purpose and understanding. We go into everything knowing what we want to achieve. We develop trust in each other. It is a team building exercise among many other things.

It is group and personal psychology. We all know this. We understand that every element of the ritual is intended to change pathways in our brains and induce a state of mind that is different from the everyday. While ritual serves similar purposes and works in similar ways in all religions; I feel it is very important as Satanists that we go into ritual fully understanding and utilising the psychological processes involved.

This was just a taste of what ritual is and what it means to us.

 


Applying Satanic Principles to Life with Coronavirus

Nothing can make a mother feel worse than realising that their child is sinking… My daughter recently had a minor depression as a result of all the life changes imposed by the Corona restrictions. In her case our family’s shared beliefs helped get her back on track. I would much rather she live her life fully and “diabolically” than lose her true magic and beauty in depression. What she writes here is partly about how she found help and guidance in Satanism but it is more about finding yourself and your true centre and overcoming mental health problems in these difficult times.


“Change of Life” Reflections on menopause and motherhood

I think perhaps the coronavirus lockdowns are making us all more self reflective. That is not a bad thing. My daughter recently published a post here and on her own site “Femme Diabolique” giving her thoughts about what it is like to be living back at home with myself and Cassie, and what she has learned from the experience. That post made me realise there are some issues and changes concerning myself that I haven’t fully acknowledged or thought about in detail.

I’m in the menopause, a time often described as a change of life. In the years leading up to these physical and chemical changes in my body, I became a Satanist; another huge change of life. In many ways the two things combined… In addition to that; my relationship with Cassie has deepened, my job has changed and my daughter transitioned from girl to independent woman. With hindsight I realise there was probably a lot of stuff in my life that I didn’t fully process.

The onset of menopause was actually less dramatic than I feared it would be. I don’t know what I was expecting… Perhaps I feared I would somehow lose my femininity, my identity as a woman, my sex drive… Actually I felt more feminine, more politically aware as a woman and my sex drive actually increased. There were downsides… I did start getting annoying and strange hot flushes. I have been more moody. There has been some soreness, some physical aches and pains and subtle changes in the way I look (but really subtle and not all negative). What I now realise is that the biggest changes were psychological (with hormonal help). And it is with some degree of amusement that I can now see that in many ways I became a teenager again!

I had just become a Satanist which gave me permission to be and do all the things I had always wanted to be and do. And like a rebellious teenager I went about breaking all the conventions that surrounded me in an “in your face”, “fuck off if you don’t like it” kind of way! I went out of my way to become what I perceived as an archetypal Satanic woman; to break taboos and laugh in the face of conventional morality and ethics. I persuaded Cassie to join me in joining a swingers club where we indulged in things we had only ever seen in porn films and I indulged all the vices I had ever had and discovered some new ones… Moreover, I became the “wicked mother”and actively encouraged my blossoming daughter to engage in the same things, the things that were forbidden to me in my teens. I became in many people’s eyes, an evil woman. And like a teenager, I didn’t care. I held the sheep who didn’t get or approve of my new lifestyle in a fair degree of contempt. I never turned off my intellect. I ate up books about Satanism and discussed and absorbed it’s philosophy at length. But my lifestyle was my badge of honour; an outward sign that I had changed and didn’t care about the conventional morals of the world anymore.

It was like a teenage act of rebellion. Perhaps it was something I needed to get out of my system. I rebelled a bit in my teens and early twenties, but possibly not as much as others. No matter what I did back then, no matter how much I rubbed against the grain of my upbringing, I always kind of wanted to fit in. In the end, despite being regarded as a bit of a bohemian, perhaps a hippie; I held down a very responsible job and became a more respected member of my own little community than I ever intended to be. Thus, in a way the flush of hormones in my 40s seemed to have a similar effect to those that went through my body in my adolescence. I felt free to rebel and redefine myself. Perhaps it wasn’t always pretty and certainly one or two people lost respect for me, but I don’t regret any of it.

Perhaps the person most at risk during this period of my life has been my daughter. Rather than trying to restrain her in any way, I suppose I actively encouraged her to follow her instincts and her own judgement. If I was an example of anything, I was an example of Satanic living. I write a blog about it for goodness sake; it’s hardly surprising! So I actively encouraged my daughter to experiment and explore. I was delighted that she chose Satanism herself and went about gaining experience at the expense of innocence. The result is that she is not as pure and chaste or as sweet and innocent as some mothers presumably prefer to keep their babies, but she is intelligent and independent and kind in practical ways. I think she is  a positive inspiration to others. I am proud of her.

But what if things hadn’t gone this way? What if, as a result of my wicked example, my daughter had gone wild, had serious problems with drugs, had got pregnant, exposed herself to dangerous situations and disease? Could I sit back and smugly laugh off my second teenage-hood then? Well, no I couldn’t. But my argument is simply that, in truth, my example is less likely to result in the potential problems I described than somebody who is the opposite of me.

The flush of hormones during adolescence prepares people for adult life. In your twenties and thirties and sometimes well beyond that, you live with the mind and body that was built during your teens. I am finding it helpful to look at the menopause change of life in a similar way; not as an ending but as the start of a new phase. Perhaps because of our family’s connection to paganism and witchcraft, I very much associate the new phase with that of The Crone.

I don’t want to brush aside the problems that menopause can bring. Some women suffer much more than I have. All of us have to cope with physical and psychological changes to some degree. It can be unpleasant. It can be frightening. I am not immune; I have bad days. The ageing process can be much unkinder to us women than to our male counterparts. Our ability to conceive and then to nurture life within our bodies is often fundamental to our sense of self, and when that ability is gone we have to reassess who and what we are. Sometimes our physical features change in ways that seem the complete reverse of all we have aspired to be during our young adult phase. Our appearance ‘might’ stop being all that we once thought was good, pretty, sexy and powerful. There can be big adjustments to be made to our way of thinking and to our sense of who and what we are. But they don’t all have to be scary or negative…

I intend to live a long and interesting life, so in my early 40s I still consider myself to be fairly young no matter what changes my body is going through. That is an important starting place. There is a temptation to think of the menopause as the start of old age. That is rubbish! It could be that more than half my life is still ahead of me. This is something people of my age should consider seriously. I have heard people say that 60 is the new 40 and that might be true. Indeed with healthy living and better health care around the world it is not too far fetched to believe that even 70 might be more equivalent to present and future generations as 40 was to people at the end of the twentieth century. In other words, we enter the Crone phase with the possibility of a long life still ahead of us. Indeed it might be the longest and most productive period of our lives.

From the point of view of the witch (Satanic, Pagan or most other varieties) The Crone is the most powerful aspect and stage of magical life. It is the time when all your knowledge and life experience can be brought to bare on whatever you are doing. It is a phase characterised by wisdom and power. It can be a stage of life that enables you to do and achieve more than ever before. Perhaps the witch has an advantage over those who have never practised the craft… We are more in tune with ourselves and our possibilities. It is easy to understand why many women might become lost and depressed because of all they might feel they are losing during the menopause; especially the perceived loss of youth. But the skilled witch can re-invoke that whenever she wishes. My recent teen-like excesses have confirmed to me the power I have. In the last few years I have, for example, been more sexy and sexual than ever before. I have explored territory that the maiden and mother versions of myself would have feared to enter. And those who have mattered to me along these journeys have found me to be as sexy and alluring as I was in my twenties and thirties. For those who don’t practice witchcraft; think of it as psychology… It is about self belief, it is about projecting a desired image of yourself to others. It begins with self belief and a strong will; assets that are there to be found in your 40s if you know where to look for them.

I don’t expect everybody reading this to share my philosophical or religious beliefs. I am a Satanist and Satanism is not the right path for everybody (although it might be better and more empowering for more people than realise it at present). However I hope that most women reading this might be able to take away something positive about the menopause; something we are all destined to experience if we live into middle age. There is no point in fearing it, and with the right mental attitude it can be a powerful and empowering phase of life.

It might be wise to think of our teens and younger adulthood as preparation for the most important part of our lives. (Or the maiden and mother phases leading to the wisdom and power of the crone phase). The average life expectancy for women in the western world is about 80 plus… We should not write off the second half of our lives during our 40s, rather we should be honing our powers for potentially the most influential and rewarding stage of our life journeys.


Living with Mum and Mum.

I might add some thoughts on my own about what we have learned and how we have grown while being together during lockdown in a longer post…


Lockdown Reflections


Like everyone else, our lives are changing because of Coronavirus. The three of us are now in virtual house arrest in Zurich. We venture out to the shops about once a week, sporting the new face mask chic. We go for occasional walks in the woods or by the lake taking care to avoid contact with anybody else. But most of the time we are at home; three Satanic ladies cooped up together. In our family we have always been quite good at giving each other space to do our own things so perhaps living in such close proximity is not as much a struggle for us as it has been for some. Of course tensions are higher than normal. We get on each other’s nerves from time to time. There are some arguments. But overall, I think we are doing quite well. There has been far more time than normal to reflect and think about things and to put those thoughts into some kind of order. It is a valuable mental exercise. In this post I want to talk about how the current situation has made me feel about Satanism and then consider the way the lockdown is both a challenge and an opportunity to the individual members of my precious Satanic family. I hope other readers might find something of interest or even something useful in my musings.

In several places online during the last week I have seen some extreme Christians claiming we are in the “End Days” and “The Rapture” is coming. For those who don’t know, that means they think the world (at least the human part of it) is ending and Jesus/God will return to take the good Christians to heaven and condemn everybody else to hell. To be honest I can see why people of that religion might think that; we are certainly living through some extremely strange and frightening times. I don’t think they are correct of course, but what if they are? I had a little mind game in which I imagined that against all odds and logic (from my point of view) the most extreme fundamentalist Christians were right and their God returned to end the world and judge us all… I imagined a blasphemous conversation I might have…

God; Sophie you are a wicked woman in every way, do you have anything to say for yourself before I smite you?

Sophie; Not really, except I am surprised to see you. I didn’t really believe you were real.

God; Ah well, you should have had more faith, but still if you want me to take your disbelief into consideration to mitigate your sins…?

Sophie; No, no. If I had known and believed you to be real, I would still have been on Satan’s side. Even more so actually.

God; You evil woman!

Sophie; You have said that before… Have you ever tried an anger management class? You admit to being a jealous God after all…

God; How dare you speak back to me?!

Sophie; Because I can. Because I don’t think you are wise or good. You rule by fear which you dress up as love. And you yourself are ruled by fear. You are afraid that we might one day equal you. Perhaps we already do in many ways. All you want is a loyal army of subservient sheep who will do what you say without question. And if there is nothing else for them to do, you would be content for them to waste their existence giving praise to you.

God; You are wicked and immoral!

Sophie; Only by your reckoning, which means nothing to me. I am kind to those who deserve kindness and I have my own morals.

God; You are promiscuous and sexually deviant!

Sophie; I live my own way and make my own choices. I reject the rules and limitations of your church. So do most people actually, in case you hadn’t noticed.

God; And you have encouraged your own daughter to adopt your own wicked ways!

Sophie; No I have encouraged my daughter to reject your tyranny and live her own life.

God; Enough! To hell with you!

Sophie. Okay. I am happy to live with Satan. Unlike you, he doesn’t threaten to kill and torture everybody who does’t agree with or worship him.

****

And I mean all of that. The virus crisis has given us all much to worry about but I don’t regret or worry about the spiritual, philosophical or religious choices I have made. The fact that the Christian God would be prepared to kill and torture me for my beliefs only makes me more determined to stand proudly on the side of Satan.

*****

I take a lot from Buddhism and other spiritual paths I have explored along the way. Cassie takes much from Taoism and Paganism. Leonie has developed a very Pagan element to her beliefs and I think has even learned some esoteric Muslim wisdom from some of her friends. None of us are either typical or archetypal Satanists; but even in this crisis in which we have had more soul searching time than normal, Satan is the cornerstone of our beliefs and our way of living. I am proud to be the nominal matriarch in this Satanic family.

*****

So, how are we coping in this Covid19 crisis?

It has been easiest for me in many ways. I had already scaled back most of my school work to focus on creative and artistic projects. So in a way, the extra time at home is something I was prepared for. It just means I don’t have any excuse for not doing all the things I have planned to do! Having Cassie and my daughter at home with me is an extra bonus for me.

Cassie has had to make the hardest adjustment. She is normally an extremely busy woman and travel all over Europe and beyond is a weekly or even daily reality for her. All of that has stopped. Her entire job is on hold for as long as the lockdowns across Europe continue. She has already spent more time at home in the last 18 days than in the whole of last year. It is a big change. She is spending her time on writing projects and trying to set up online teaching and coaching… But for somebody who is used to frequent travel and supervising other people in stress filled work everyday, it is a big change. I know she is a little stir crazy from time to time but I hope our quality time together makes up for that a bit. For the last few years we have looked outwards and explored previously forbidden fruits in our social and sexual lives; now the focus is on satisfying the needs of each other.

Léonie has the advantage of having university work to do and focus on. While studying from home means she lacks any of the social life associated with being a student, it does at least give her a focus and structure to her days at home. But I know she gets lonely. Her girlfriend is stuck in Berlin. While Cassie and I have each other, Léonie only has a collection of toys and porn to distract her. She is writing more on her various blogs and websites and binge watching various things on TV. She is also the most active on social media and is looking into ways to help and support other people on line. As ever, I am very proud of her.

We are of course all a little bit scared. While we are all in good health we know that the virus can randomly take anybody. We are all quite heavy smokers which also increases our risk, but to face the oncoming weeks without our cigarettes or wine would only add to our stress. We cling to the belief that all of our various vices, if taken in moderation, will be more of a help than a hindrance to our wellbeing during the uncertain times ahead. We stay at home as much as possible and wear our masks when we have to go out.

While our human and Satanic imperative is to take care of ourselves first, we are also looking into ways of helping out in the community. Léonie and Cassie are organising a project to help deliver food to those who can’t leave their homes. I am organising some online support for vulnerable teenagers who cannot go to group meetings anymore to deal with their addictions and family problems. Léonie has just discovered that an animal rescue centre she used to work for locally may have to close down; so she is working on ways round that. We hope we are making a positive contribution to our community. We may need to depend on the help of others if we get ill.

The lockdown has given us all much more time than usual to think about things. We are trying to see that as an advantage and to make the best of it. When things improve and hopefully get back to something like what used to be normal, we hope we will be stronger and wiser and better equipped to deal with whatever comes next.

Our aim is to be part of the solution, not part of the problem.

Good luck everyone. Stay home. Stay safe. Be well. Learn and grow.

Hail Lilith! Hail Satan! Hail each other!

 


2020 Satanism

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As a new decade approaches, it is my turn to post. My partner Cassie and I are enjoying a time of ritual and celebration together with our Coven. We will later be joined by my daughter Leónie who has become an effective ambassador for Satan and the Satanic lifestyle in her own right. Certainly for our family, Satanism has been the key theme of this decade and we are sure it will continue that way in the 2020s. I want to reflect on what that means for us as a family now, and perhaps speculate a bit on how Satanism can shape the new decade for us and others.

In 2010 I considered myself a Buddhist, and to a degree that worked for me but something wasn’t right… I had just separated from my partner and the father of Léonie, I was dating but there was nobody special… Work was going well but something was missing. My daughter was a bright and independent child but still in every way an innocent little girl. A few years later I got together with Cassie and discovered Satanism and my life changed in every way. Now, Cassie and I run our own Satanic coven, we have gained the confidence to be ourselves and to enjoy the “swinging” lifestyle, and my daughter is now a woman who embraces every aspect of Satanic philosophy and lives accordingly.

About five years ago Léonie told me that she had started smoking. I had no right to criticise or forbid her since I am a smoker myself, but it was odd to see her smoking for the first time; not as a child experimenting but as a first glimpse of an adult who had obviously been smoking for a while before she told me. Then there were several years of rapid blossoming in which she experimented with sex and drugs and all the other temptations that come with adulthood. It could have caused a lot of worry and conflict, I could have been a nightmarish mother and she could have gone completely off the rails… But it didn’t go that way because of the beliefs we share and the respect we have for each other. What could have torn us apart actually brought us closer together…

Satanism is what has bonded and rooted us as a family. We share an outlook which breeds tolerance and self discovery; a philosophy which is less judgemental than most and which allows for pleasure and hedonism as normal and healthy aspects of life. While we may interpret some things differently as individuals, we share a belief that knowledge and experience of all things is better than ignorance, guilt and repression. We don’t believe there is any such thing as sin (in the way the world generally understands it) but we do believe we are each responsible for our own actions. We don’t believe there are many things which are wholly wrong or evil, nor that there are many things which are correct and good in all situations. We acknowledge that there is light and dark within us and that both sides need to be cultivated and balanced. We are neither good nor evil, we simply are what we are. All these things have helped us to learn and develop as individuals and, just as importantly, to respect and encourage the personal growth of each other.

Satan brought Cassie and I together at just the right time. It has given us more strength as a pair and as individuals and has empowered us to do far more than we ever considered possible. And just as we have witnessed the blossoming of my daughter into full Satanic adulthood, we have also been encouraged and inspired by the changes and the personal growth we have seen in each other. We have helped each other face personal challenges and have enabled each other to experiment and grow in ways we would otherwise have denied to ourselves or repressed. We have given each other much more freedom than some couples do, but our understanding, love and trust for each other has only grown as a result. And now that we are what many would call middle aged and dealing with the menopausal phase of life we have never felt more vital, more sexual and sexy, or more empowered.

We are still on a journey, but that journey is now firmly within a Satanic framework. We are not so much searching as building on what we have learned. One thing I have realised is that sometimes when people are searching for a spiritual path that makes sense to them, they get so used to “searching” that they don’t recognise when they have found the path that is best for them. Both Cassie and I could easily have made that mistake, but in discovering Satanism together, we found the confidence and clarity which meant that for us the search was over and a new phase had begun. The building phase is just as important as the searching phase that goes before it, and I would urge “searchers” to ask themselves if it is possible they have already found what they are looking for, but are just just too afraid to commit to one path and build on it’s foundations. (It won’t be Satanism for most people, but that’s not the point).

And during all that time Satanism has been growing and developing itself. Our own little coven is just a small island in a growing world of Satanic thought, practice and lifestyle. At the moment it is a disjointed world which often finds different Satanic groups, sects and communities at odds with each other. We try to keep out of the international politics of Satanism which often centres around a few headstrong personalities. There are several groups that don’t get on very well with each other and we have friends in most of them. There are of course theological divides as well, most especially between theistic and non theistic branches of Satanism. We are theistic but we try to form a bridge between the two extremes. We respect and pretty much mirror the mind-set of atheistic Satanists, our own theistic beliefs being very much our own interpretation which probably wouldn’t resonate very well with hard core Devil Worshippers. But we must each find our own path and our own understanding. Perhaps in the 2020s we Satanists need to be a little more tolerant and understanding of alternative interpretations of our own beliefs. From my own experience and largely scientific background I have realised that some things you think aren’t logical and can’t be true are in fact more logical and more true when you see them from a completely different perspective. I think that starting from a point where you accept that everything you thought was true might just be completely wrong is a good beginning for both Satanic and Scientific enquiry.

Despite the frictions and fractions in Satanic circles, we are very convinced that a new era of Satanic consciousness is rising. Not everybody touched by this rising tide of consciousness will call it Satanic, and nor should they, but in my daughter and many other young people I see a healthy trait for questioning the norms and authorities of society. The stranglehold of the old religions is loosening and brave people are daring to be themselves and journey through life according to their own moral compass. They are the pioneers on the frontiers of society. They are making progress but as fast as they push aside boundaries, new ones are put up. I think as Satanists we should stand behind such people whether they identify with us or not. Satanism is less taboo than it used to be but as a result, as we become more open and visible, we should not be surprised if repressive, Conservative forces start to target us more… again.

There are some reasons to be gloomy as we enter the 2020s. Popularist idiots like Trump are running more and more of the world. Britain, a country once synonymous with civilisation and diplomacy seems to have voted for isolation and xenophobia instead. The climate crisis gets more acute but leading politicians are doing very little about it, content to hand a damaged planet to future generations as long as there are short term profits to be had… But there are also people like Greta Thunberg and even my daughter who seem determined to fight to make the world better, fairer and safer for all.

Perhaps there is always something of a fight for the future but I am very optimistic that in the coming decade there will be warriors equal to the fight. And some of them will come from Satanism.


Femme Diabolique

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My daughter Léonie recently celebrated her nineteenth birthday. She is an adult in every way now, though still my child of course. Apparently some mothers feel sad and depressed when their children start to grow up, when they begin to leave their innocent childhood behind and start behaving as adults. Honestly, I never felt that. Perhaps because of my Satanic philosophy and lifestyle, or perhaps just because it is the way I am, while I enjoyed and cherished Léonie as a child I always wanted her to grow up and become an empowered young woman. For me that was always the mission and purpose of being a mother; to protect and nurture the child and help her become a wise and intelligent adult who could take care of herself. I believe I have succeeded.

Only five years ago, when she was then 14, I remember when she announced one night that she had started smoking. Some may think I should have been shocked or angry, but in fact, being the wicked woman that I am, I was actually quite pleased. We sat down at the kitchen table and smoked together for the first time and I saw my first glimpse of a more grown up Léonie. The transformation had begun. Some months later she told Cassie and I that she was also a Satanist. We actually didn’t want her to make such a big decision as that at her age and we only accepted it with a pinch of salt, thinking she would change her mind. But we underestimated her conviction. She read, she learned and she took it all very seriously. She has continued to do so ever since. By the time she was sixteen she had become interested in boys and sex. But while some daughters might have been secretive about such things, she came to me and asked to have a serious chat about things which lead eventually to me accompanying her to the birth control clinic. I saw this not only as a sign that she was growing up rapidly, but also as a sign that she was growing up wisely. It made me proud.

A week ago Cassie and I took Léonie to Berlin to celebrate her birthday. It was a busy and highly enjoyable few days with a mixture of culture and night life, well to be honest on this occasion nightlife fun took priority. For me it was nice to spend time in the company of my adult daughter; just two Satanic women out to have fun and debauchery! It was clear from the start that Léonie has her own tastes and ideas and is a very free spirit indeed. Of course, as a mother, there are a few of her tastes and choices that I may not fully agree with or approve of, but she is generally wise, rational and very independent so I think I have less to worry about than some mothers. Overall, she is a bright and fun woman I’d be happy to spend time with as a friend even if we weren’t related.

The reason I am referring so much to my daughter and praising her up in this post, is to promote her own blog which I will detail later. The reason for that is that Cassie and I have been neglecting this blog a bit recently and in truth that situation is likely to continue for a while. There are two main reasons for this. Firstly we are simply both very busy with our jobs and our lives. Secondly, when we do get round to writing a blog post these days, we often quickly realise that we are repeating something we already said months or years before. I guess there is nothing wrong with repetition sometimes but too much of it feels stale and uninspiring. Léonie, on the other hand, has a new and fresh perspective. Unlike Cassie or myself she was brought up in a Satanic family and embraced Satanism from early in her teens. It has pretty much always been her world view and she approaches everything she does from that perspective and with the energy her youth gives her. Her views are very similar to ours, but as regular readers will know, no two Satanists believe exactly the same. So I feel her blog, Femme Diabolique, has a freshness and vitality that some of our readers might enjoy while our own posts remain a bit sporadic. I think in some ways she is bolder and less tactful than us. She is part of the next generation and is never afraid to speak her mind or challenge conventions.

Cassie and I will continue blogging here, but there is no way we can increase our post count at the moment. So if you want to maintain or increase your exposure to us wicked ladies, please do check out and follow Léonie’s blog! Femme Diabolique 


Redefining Our Darkness

It’s an old joke, but relevant; “How do you like your coffee?… Black like my soul!”

And it is really true for the three of us as we sit here drinking coffee and satisfying our nicotine cravings to the degree that by now our lungs might also be as black as our souls. During the past couple of weeks we have indulged all our vices to excess, we have enjoyed parties that others might describe as orgies, we have organised and participated in dark rituals, we have invoked demons and given thanks and praise to Satan for all that we learn, all that we enjoy and all that we are.

We have immersed ourselves in the dark side of life more fully and completely than any of us could have imagined or predicted a few years ago. We have become the kind of women that Christian missionaries and fundamentalists have nightmares about. And without doubt we would seek to seduce and corrupt any such people who come our way.

We are Satanic women, Devil Worshipers, sisters of demons, emissaries of hell. Hail Satan!

While all of the above is certainly true, it is mainly written in the context of language and understanding that is not, and should not, be part of our beliefs. We have chosen a path that is described as dark by our enemies and it is difficult not to fall into the trap of allowing our enemies to define us. I don’t mind the word “dark” or even “evil”, but the question then is, who defines what is dark or evil? It is an old question we frequently come back to in this blog, but it is always relevant.

Lets look at that first paragraph again and try to frame the same things in more neutral language.

Recently, like many people during the season of winter festivities, we have over indulged in many of the things we enjoy. We have eaten a lot of good, rich food. We have eaten too many chocolates and sweet things. We drank more alcohol than we normally do. We smoked a lot of cigarettes and a few cigars. We smoked a bit of weed and popped a few pills and substances that are illegal in some places. We had more than the normal amount of consensual sex of various types. We enjoyed these activities all the more for realising that it would be unhealthy and impractical to devote this amount of time to our personal pleasure every day of the year. We thanked the God we believe in for the times we were enjoying and used our imagination to create rituals of thanks to him. In doing so we reconfirmed our commitment to him and our desire to learn more on our chosen spiritual path.

Is that really dark or evil?

Is it really any darker than what a lot of supposedly respectable folk did while letting their hair down during the festive season? Sure, we are more open about the sex and drugs part, but just because others don’t speak about it as freely as we have on this occasion, does it really mean that they don’t do it as well?

Of course the difference is that we admit to being Satanists, and that makes everything we do dark, doesn’t it? While we are open about enjoying our hedonistic impulses; those are not the only things we do. We are three women… One of us is studying to became a vet and work in animal conservation. She is a grade A student who devotes some of her free time to looking after refugees. One of us donates a sizeable amount of her income to UNICEF and other charities. One of us devotes much of her time when she is not officially working with troubled teenagers, to working in a half way house for homeless and abused young people. Does the fact that we are Satanists and do not claim to be virginal “white lighters” darken and diminish these other things we do?

But while what I have said until now could be seen as a criticism of the hypocrisy of the goody goodies who judge our Satanic lifestyle, Satanists also need to be careful how the darkness they enjoy is defined, and who defines it.

How would it be if Jehova Witnesses got to define what is right or wrong, good or bad, light or dark for Buddhists? Ridiculous right? What if Hindus became the judges of what was moral or immoral for Jews? A stupid idea or…?

And yet as Satanists we quite often fall into the trap of allowing our own morals and ethics to be defined by other religions, and in particular by the religion that has the biggest axe to grind against us. Are we really dark and evil just because Christians say that we are? No we aren’t. We chose Satan not because we believe him to be evil as Christians insist; but because we know that he isn’t. We enjoy a hedonistic lifestyle not because we believe it is wrong and harmful but because we believe it can be right and helpful.

Yet most, if not all, Satanists (including all three of us) go through a stage of believing we are evil and indeed celebrating that fact. It leads some into acts of evil and depravity they would not have considered before but they unwittingly buy into the Christian concept of evil and suppose that since they have chosen to follow the devil, they are damned and might as well act accordingly. That is the road to Reverse Christianity, and it is NOT what Satanism is about. This should be obvious but it is frequently obscured by the prevailing Christian culture.

We must strive to define Satanism and Satan himself by ourselves, and not get sucked into being how Christians think we should be.

So what is the darkness that we love and immerse ourselves in?

Actually it is rather like the Dark Matter and Dark Energy which scientists seek to understand. The word dark in that context does not mean bad or evil, it simply means unknown and mysterious. An unknown force which has a profound effect on the entire universe. As Satanists we seek to explore the dark areas of ourselves and learn how it shapes us. We believe (and many psychologists, especially of the Jungian type, agree with us) that working with our darker nature, our shadow side, is a quite essential aspect of personal growth and development.

We choose to explore the darkness and all that is within it because we cannot truly know ourselves otherwise. We seek to know, and understand and progress. There are many religions that would prefer that we didn’t know, understand or progress. There are many gods (or ideas of gods) that would be threatened by the idea of humans reaching their full potential and not needing jealous gods anymore. Satan isn’t like like. Even Satan’s enemies agree that his biggest “crime” was bringing us knowledge and enlightenment, of removing us from the influence of lesser gods.

Darkness as we define it is therefore a school of knowledge and empowerment.