It is New Year’s Day. We sit in a hotel room in southern England for a few days post Saturnalia holiday to see family, old friends and old coven family. We are all quite hung-over and quite travel weary after a week of celebrations followed by fog caused flight delays and travel changes. Time for our alcohol addled brains to reflect on 2016 and look forward to a New Year.
Tina. 2016 was a big year for me. I turned 16, did a lot of growing up, discovered sex and other vices and enjoyed myself a lot! I also had my first tattoos, first serious boyfriend and all sorts of other firsts. Around me the world seemed to be going mad. My Mum and Cassie seemed quite worried about political things going on in the world but I wasn’t too concerned. I kind of felt invincible like the time for me and my generation is coming… It doesn’t matter if some crazy politicians screw things up because the people of my generation will put things right eventually. Personally I won’t show any mercy to the people who caused the mess we will have to deal with though…
For 2017 I will try my best to study and keep my marks high. This will be harder than it has been in the past because there are so many other things which are much more fun that I would like to do at the same time! Sometime this year I will go to America which I always wanted to do, but now that there will be an idiot in charge it seems like a less important ambition than it used to be… In the next few days I am going to get to know people from the Satanic Coven Cassie belonged to when she lived in England and I hope to make some good contacts there. I want to be able to be more open with more people about being a Satanist. I think I can get away with that more easily than my mother or Cassie can. Anyway, personally I have given up all things that people call morals and I will live by Satanic principle alone. I will write more about that in my own blog.
Sophie. 2016 was a year where my role as a mother changed substantially. Where Tina is concerned I decided to let go as much as I could and I have enjoyed watching her develop as a person… Perhaps I would have been the same as she is now if my parents had been Satanists. She has embraced adulthood and a lot of the hedonistic freedoms that go with the beliefs and lifestyle we have all chosen. I have seen many other mothers grow distant to their children during this phase of life but I feel that Tina and I have actually grown closer as sisters in Satan. I have found however that my maternal instincts have come to the fore in our coven where my role has expanded a lot this year and I have found that very satisfying. With Cassie away working a lot of the time I have taken over the everyday running of the coven and it is surprising just how “motherly” a role that is, even in a group of people that defy conventions and love their independence. Watching our members grow and discover their true selves within Satanism has given me a lot of pleasure. The same is true for my relationship with Cassie.
For the year ahead I want to see us all continue to grow and develop, leaving behind any remanents of pre satanic thought. For our own group and for myself I am confident that that will happen. When I think about the wider world I am more troubled. Perhaps change, even scary and dramatic change, is a good thing in the end, but it will mean difficult and testing times for many people and for the world itself. Just when the major powers were beginning to take climate change seriously we get President Trump who seems set to dramatically reverse what little progress there has been. And politics in general seems to be in melt-down. I think Satanists are called to act wisely to secure the future for ourselves and our children.
Cassie. For me 2016 was a year of even more travel than normal, a lot of hard work and increased responsibilities in my job. I loved it, but I realised that even I have limits when it comes to energy and stamina! Maybe in the coming year I need to pace myself a bit better. On my Satanic path it has been a year of twists and turns that have caused me to think deeply about things and re-evaluate my attitudes and some beliefs. This is good! I must say I have also taken great pleasure in seeing what some would call the corruption of my adopted daughter and what I call her growth, development and empowerment as a Satanic adult. She is going to be a force to be recconned with!
Politically this year has been a disaster with the growth of mindless popularism and prejudice on both sides of the Atlantic resulting in Brexit and Trump. Brexit will hit me personally quite a lot in work and my home life. I don’t know if the company I work for can continue to exist if Brexit goes ahead. And in order to secure a future for me and Sophie I am probably going to have to give up British citizenship and become either Swiss or Irish.
I think 2017 will be very painful indeed in terms of politics and world affairs. Trump and Putin on the same side… More calamity in Syria and the Middle East. More right wing popularist movements in Europe… The Brexit mess going ahead despite the fact that more and more people are realising what an utter disaster it will be for the UK…
I have become quite politically active in the past year in opposition to Brexit and part of my plan for the new year is to be more effective in that but also to pace myself and keep things in perspective. Spiritually I don’t have any specific plans except to keep learning and growing. I’m starting a new forum (details on request) and have a few ideas for our coven to persue…
We wish all our followers and readers all the best for 2017. Blessings from the Satanic Ladies!
I want to preface this post by saying that it can in some ways be viewed as a kind of warning. We have always tried to present the positive side of Satanism and confront some of the misinformation that often circulates on the media. However, Satanism is certainly a darker path and is not right for everybody. Moreover I think it is fair to say that anybody who takes this path will have to confront aspects of themselves and of society that most people prefer not to.
Satanists and most of us who follow a Left Hand Path; a path associated with darkness, cannot help but be exposed to evil; whatever one considers evil to be. There have been times on this spiritual journey where I have come close to describing myself as fully evil and seeing evil itself as the truest expression of pure Satanism. This may come as a surprise to some who know me, even in Satanic circles, because I have usually taken a public stance which is quite different to that. But I think that all of us on the Satanic path are forced to experience and confront evil in a way that most people never do. We each go through stages in our relationship with evil and come to our own conclusions about it. Some on this path do become everything the wider world considers to be evil and are not afraid to admit that to themselves and others. Some take pride in describing themselves as evil. I do not go quite that far but I certainly do not consider or describe myself as good either. I am Satanic; and that is enough.
It is true however that the deeper one becomes involved in Satanism, the further you travel into the territory that is often described as evil by others. You may blaspheme, you may participate in black masses and other dark rituals, you may practice magic defined by others as black, the use of blood and various sexual acts may become part of your magical and ritual life. And of course you see the enemy of Christianity and several other religions, Satan; The Devil, as your guide and inspiration. You may work with demons and dark spirits. You may see the diabolical as your kin and hell as your spiritual home. I have done all of these things and I must say that once you start to explore this territory it is intoxicating and addictive. This is where the danger lurks for us. In this new territory where there are no clear maps or boundaries, it is easy to get lost. What do I mean by that?
What I mean is that we are exploring areas or our mind and psyche that are considered taboo and forbidden by many and within those dark territories there are things we don’t really think are wrong but there are other things which still may be wrong or evil or against our true nature and judgement. In the darkness and the ecstasy of exploration we can confuse those things. To put it another way, we can begin to see and experience everything in this territory as equally valid and equally much our true nature. We glimpse that we are capable of every kind of evil and may come to feel that every kind of evil is acceptable for us. This is a stage that most, if not all, people who take a Left Hand Spiritual path; or in a Jungian sense explore their dark side, must go through. I have had moments like that. I have had moments when I have felt that to kill somebody who stands in my way would be no more wrong than fully enjoying my sexuality. I have had moments when I have felt that the power to be sadistic and cruel in the extreme without any guilt or shame would be a beautiful and liberating thing. Yes, I have had moments when I have felt that everything I personally abhorred and previously thought to be really evil is everything I actually want to be. I doubt that there are many people on a similar path who have not occasionally had these thoughts and feelings.
I should add that these moments were just that: moments. When the moments were over they became stimuli for deep soul searching and internal dialogue. They became uncomfortable points of self reflection. They became lessons which slowly and uncomfortably lead to personal growth and understanding. But it is easy to see and understand how for some people (and I would never say that I am immune) these moments could become extended… These moments could become their new reality.
Yet still I think this a path worth continuing on. It is dangerous, but it is worth it for some of us (including my partner and my daughter). I would like to speak about why I think it is worth it in the context of what Left Hand Paths are really about. And finally I would like to indicate why I think that being a Theistic Satanist offers a certain amount of guidance and protection that may be missing in some other Left Hand Paths.
The idea of the Left Hand Path first surfaced in Eastern, Tantric traditions. To over-simplify it was seen as a difficult but sometimes faster path to enlightenment which depended heavily on breaking the taboos and conventions of a given time and place. For example, within communities that were vegetarian, Tantric practioners of the left hand path would eat meat. In places where sexual morals were conservative and restrictive, those of the left hand path would explore and practice all forms of sexuality that were considered taboo or depraved. The idea was two fold. Firstly (and this may be a more modern and more western interpretation) breaking conventions and taboos can be seen as a test of the moral validity of such taboos in the first place. Secondly (and perhaps most importantly in the original traditions) the aim was for the soul to remain untainted no matter how much the body was engaged with material depravity and corruption; to remain true to your higher self in the midst of the most extreme material experiences.
I try to incorporate both these aspects into my own version of the left hand path and try to remind myself of the point of it all as often as possible. Thus with each taboo that I choose to break, I evaluate all that I gain or loose by doing so and come to a new value judgement of my own about how I should regard that thing or that action myself. Moreover, when I am momentarily overwhelmed by the sensation or possibilities of something, I try not to let it overpower or consume me but rather allow my higher self to observe and note it. A little bit of Buddhist knowledge and background is very helpful here.
So an understanding of what the Left Hand Path is about can be very helpful and protective; I would say essential. However personally I find that that alone is not enough. In the moments where I have been in most danger of losing myself, it was in fact the presence of Satan that saved me.
Satan first permeated my soul in the shape of the Pagan Horned God, a figure whose voice called out to me to be heard rather than side-lined or ignored. Within the circles I moved in, people were appalled or even terrified that their somewhat neutered Horned God might be associated with the Christian Devil. Yet to me the similarities were clear. I then began to see the Christian portrayal of Satan as false and misleading. I felt His displeasure at being portrayed in such a limited and entirely negative way. And it was because I began to recognize the depiction of Satan as entirely evil as false that I became a Satanist. So when I am exploring the darker areas of my soul, it is a voice of wisdom that guides me and in particular urges me not to linger in dangerous areas for too long. It is Satan once again reminding me that he is not the caricature of evil that Christians would have us believe.
The Satanic path does require us to explore the nature of evil within ourselves and beyond, but it certainly does not require us to become evil.
I titled this post “transcending good and evil” but that might be a little misleading. What this post is about and indeed what Satanism itself is about to a large degree is transcending other people’s definitions of good and evil. As Satanists we all eventually leave behind worldly notions of good and evil and trust instead on our Satanic instincts. But we train and hone those instincts. The lessons can be hard and we can get lost but we learn and we grow. We are always accountable for our own actions and choices. We allow ourselves more freedoms but those freedoms have dangers. This is the path we have chosen but our safety on the path is not guaranteed. We can fall. We can get lost. Some people do.
For me personally (headstrong and arrogant as I can be), a focus on the true nature of Satan and a willingness to heed his advice is the strongest safety line.
For the benefit of anybody who has been skim reading this without much concentration or understanding what I am saying is that while I have glimpsed my own potential to be evil (and will do again I am sure) I have chosen not to be, and that it is Satan who keeps my moral compass pointing in the right direction.
And if you are still confused don’t worry, but don’t ever explore Satanism; you are not ready.
We have mentioned our Coven in passing but have not said much about it until now and probably won’t say much in future. The main reason for this is to protect the privacy of our members. I decided to write something now for two reasons. Firstly a few people have asked us things relating to our Coven or Coven Satanism in general. Secondly because a few of our recent posts seemed to be interpreted as if we were apologizing for our beliefs. That is not the case. We are Theistic Satanists. We are Devil Worshipers (although we have our own interpretation of what the words “devil” and “worship” actually mean). Within our coven we are Satanists in the raw and to the core. That is what we are. No apologies.
You certainly don’t have to be part of a coven in order to be a Satanist, most Satanists aren’t. In fact probably most Satanists are rather solitary, keeping most of their beliefs and practices to themselves. This suites the psychological profile of many of the Satanists we know who for many reasons are often quite reclusive and introverted. We, on the other hand, are rather extrovert and have come to appreciate the comradery and power that can be experienced as part of a group united by similar beliefs and shared experiences.
I had coven experience before becoming a Satanist as part of a Wiccan coven. When I fully converted to Satanism I was keen to experience a Satanic Coven. It was kind of a test for me. I had already made a commitment to Satan but I wanted to immerse myself in Satanic lifestyle and practice in order to check for myself if I had done the right thing. It seemed to me that being part of a Coven would be like jumping in to the deep end of the dark pool and I would either sink or swim. (I don’t recommend everybody to follow my example but that kind of all or nothing approach suits my personality). For me it worked. The things that I was perhaps least sure and most uncomfortable about, quickly became comfortable norms for me. It was like finding my true Satanic nature and celebrating it rather than hiding it. So, for me being part of a Satanic Coven was a big and very significant part of my personal journey and development. Even so, I recognize that for many people this step, and this experience is not necessary at all.
So I was a member of a Satanic coven in the UK where I was taught, nurtured and well treated. But then life intervened; I fell in love, was traveling a lot and missed some meetings and then I decided to move to another country altogether.
At first Sophie and I were content to go it alone and with hindsight I think that was good for our development as a couple but eventually our thoughts turned to establishing our own coven.
Our coven came together gradually and organically. At first it was just a very informal group of friends in which Sophie and I were the only ones who fully identified as Satanists. The other people were what I would describe as open minded spiritual searchers from various backgrounds including Buddhism and Darker Pagan strands. Our meetings were just social gatherings at which we would discuss and share ideas over a few glasses of wine. (Okay, sometimes more than just a few glasses of wine)! It was great for me as I had recently relocated to Switzerland and was unable to keep up my commitments to my British based coven; so this new hard core group of friends became my new extended family. As time went by several members expressed an interest in the magical and ritualistic aspects of Satanism as Sophie and I practiced it. As a result we experimented with a few group rituals and I gave a bit of guidance and direction for those that were keen to explore witchcraft more fully. And so it began… Quite soon after that our friends, one by one, decided to fully embrace Satanism themselves and our meetings became more organised and regular.
No two covens of any variety are exactly the same and this is probably even more true in Satanic circles. There is no rule book and no single right way to do things. The shape and structure of our coven is based loosely on my previous coven experiences in Wicca and Satanism, simplified and tailored to our own needs. At present we have ten regular members and a few other interested parties. We have several teachers, scientists of various descriptions, an artist, two musicians and several business people. I am nominally the High Priestess and Sophie is the Coven Mother but I think we all acknowledge that in all practical aspects Sophie is the boss (or official Dominatrix, as one of our members put it)! As far as possible we share all jobs and responsibilities around the coven.
We try to meet monthly. Many of us have jobs which involve a lot of travel, so finding times we can all meet is a task in itself. For practical reasons we only celebrate two Satanic holidays in addition to our own birthdays, these are Beltane/Walpurgis Night around Mayday and Samhain/Halloween in the Autumn.
We decided from the beginning that the Coven needs a purpose and a direction. Ours is to further our members self interests and promote Satanic ideas and philosophy in the wider world. These things may seem somewhat vague to outsiders but among ourselves they are well understood and fine tuned.
Some of our meetings are still mostly social or based around structured discussions or debates but ritualistic and magical gatherings form the core of what we do. Also with ten birthdays spread out through the year there is plenty of fun and debauchery as well!
Clearly none of us would remain in the coven if we did not find it pleasurable and advantageous to do so.
Personally I feel it has helped me to learn new skills in terms of people management, ritual preparation, psychological understanding and manipulation and it has brought the “crone” aspect of my persona to the fore. In a practical sense I think the magic and manipulation we perform as a group is significantly more powerful that what I could normally achieve alone. And perhaps most importantly as a Theistic Satanist, I feel ever closer to and more in tune with Satan or my own Satanic nature.
Having said all that, I would urge caution to anybody looking to join a Satanic coven. It simply isn’t necessary or beneficial for everybody. I would describe ours as a fairly gentle and understanding Coven, but we are Satanists and our ways and morals reflect that. Blood is sometimes used in our rituals (our own; freely and hygienically given).There is some nudity and sexual content in some of our rituals. It would be easy to take advantage of new members keen to prove themselves or afraid to say no. We choose not to take advantage. Other covens may take the view that fools get what they deserve.
I said at the start that we are perhaps more outgoing and extrovert than some Satanists. That may be one reason why the Coven works for us. I also think that being involved with other people helps to constantly underline and fine tune our beliefs and thus ensure continual growth. The coven also becomes an extension of family with all the advantages and some of the strains that brings.
Post by Cassie
It is only just over 4 years ago that I wrote a post on my personal blog which was in effect my “Coming Out” as a Satanist. It hardly seems possible that so much has happened and changed in my life since then. At first I deleted the “coming out” post for all sorts of personal reasons and because I was afraid of the backlash and criticism I would receive. So my first steps into Satanic life were rather timid. However, I did reinstate that post and held fast to the decision I had made. In those early months I think I felt that actually I would find a middle path that was somewhere between Satanism and the kind of eclectic paganism I had been following up to that point. A lot of Satanic writing and precepts seemed a bit too radical, self centered and even brutal to me. But I put my faith and trust in Satan and took a leap into the dark… Now I suppose I find some of my early posts from a Satanic perspective to be far too apologetic; seeking approval and acceptance. Well, it’s a journey and you learn along the way. I learnt in big dramatic steps. Within months I was fully immersed in Satanic life, believing in and participating in things I would have bulked at a few months earlier. Within a year I was writing about Satanism with much more confidence and authority, I was deeply involved in a Satanic Coven and in various online Satanic circles. My soul was darker and my heart was probably harder. Meanwhile I got a girlfriend and adopted a daughter who both became Satanists and together our Satanic journey accelerated even further.
And now my lover and I run our own Satanic Coven. There are no half measures. We are not espousing any form of watered down middle path. Ours is a fully and exclusively left hand path. We reject all other moral systems and values and live by Satanic principles and will alone. There is nothing timid or half-hearted about our beliefs. We are Satanists. Accept it or fuck off.
But is that where the story ends? So nice little Cassie gives her soul to Satan and becomes a foul mouthed, hard arsed bitch… Is that it? Is that anything worth reading about, let alone celebrating? Is that a point at which anybody who has followed the story so far can say “Oh that was cool!” or “Told you so!” or even “What a shame!”
Well don’t worry, this is not the end. This is just a taking stock. The journey continues. The journey never ends.
It is true though… I am not as “nice” as I once was. I certainly can be a foul mouthed, hard arsed bitch and I enjoy giving that aspect of myself free reign sometimes. I no longer have any shame about the darker aspects of myself, or about expressing them when the need arises. So since I am taking stock, lets look in a bit more detail at the ways Satanism has changed and helped me.
Perhaps the most important thing in the early days was that Satanism helped me to cope with the illness and death of my mother. It was complicated and difficult but I think that without the hardened edge and support network that Satan provided me with, I would have broken down. It was also at that time (coincidence?) that I met my life partner and her daughter and inherited a new family. My love and passion for Sophie began on a high but has steadily increased as we have both become ever more deeply involved in Satanism. And while I will probably never give birth myself, I couldn’t love my adopted daughter more. Her presence totally activated my maternal instincts and hormones and helped me to grow in ways I would never have imagined possible. Now she is old enough to begin making her own way in the adult world and I couldn’t be prouder of her. (More about that later).
Satanism allowed me to know myself better, to shamelessly indulge in my passions and pleasures, and to grow in confidence in leaps and bounds. That confidence has lead to several promotions and thus to a much more enjoyable, rewarding and lucrative work life. I am earning more money than I thought possible a few years ago, I am living in a very comfortable apartment in an expensive city but can still afford just about any luxury or pleasure that takes my fancy. While I have a few unhealthy vices, I am fit, active, happy and relaxed and therefore in very good health. Sophie and I are both approaching the phase of life that used to be known as “middle age” but I think we could both pass ourselves off as “twentysomethings” if we wanted to. And our own coven has given us both the opportunity to develop our maternal and organisational skills in new ways. Gradually we have become quite influential in wider Satanic circles. So it is as if in work, social, personal and coven life all limits and barriers have been removed.
So while people who used to know the nicer Cassie might regret the harder edge they see now, I am thoroughly grateful to Satan for the person I have become and the limitless opportunities ahead of me.
I am aware that there are elements of this post which I have spoken of before, not so long ago, and that is a bit of a problem… Looking back through this blog, we have already covered most of the themes that are important to us. We don’t want to get repetitive…
The thrust of this post so far might seem to be saying “Look we are fully immersed in Satanism now and everything is great;- end of story.” But that is not it.
There will be challenges ahead and we are not so naive as to think all our problems are over and this is where we stay now. No, life is always a journey. There are always new things to learn and experience in any path and it is no different for us. I think the three of us are Satanic to the core of our beings and that will probably not change. But how we live that out in the reality of the everyday world will always pose questions and challenges for us. We will continue to share what we learn from those experiences in this blog and we will continue to write about any themes that seem important to us. But since we have covered quite a lot of ground already we will probably not be posting to this blog as often as in the past. We do not want to be repeating ourselves too much.
However we have encouraged Tina to start a blog of her own. She has a very different perspective and voice to Sophie and myself. Sophie and I came to Satanism in our thirties after a lot of spiritual searching and all sorts of different life experiences. Tina, on the other hand, has been brought up in the centre of a Satanic family. In terms of philosophy and religion, Satanism is pretty much her normality in a way that certainly wasn’t the case for us, or for most people… Also, at sixteen, as she begins to explore adult life in general, her concerns and interests are quite different from our own. All three of us are aware there is not much quality material around for younger people who are interested in Satanism, certainly not much that we would recommend. Sophie and I are confident that Tina will become a good and knowledgeable example of a young Satanist. We hope she will indeed keep her blog going and we are curious to see what she will say.
So, while Sophie and I may be posting here a little less often in future, the journey of this Satanic family continues in many ways.
You can visit Tina’s blog here.
This is a post to mark a right of passage, as much for me as for my daughter. But it makes sense for Tina to speak first.
Tina speaking… Unlike my mother or Cassie I have never really been interested in or experienced any religion or philosophy except Satanism. It is true that I got interested in it because it was so important to them but since I started finding out about it myself I never really had any doubts about it. It is also true that I became a Satanist at the same time I started to change from a girl into a woman and I suppose the two things are connected.
Some months ago I started to have some doubts about continuing with Satanism. It wasn’t because I stopped believing; it was just because a lot of other things were happening (school, study, boyfriends etc) and also I was a bit frustrated with being on the fringe of things at home. (Mum and Cassie are very busy with their coven and I get on well with all those people but can’t join in with anything. I am friends with the children of the coven members but most of them are not my age and anyway, strange to say, none of them are actually Satanists themselves. The only Satanists of my own age I am in contact with are online contacts and that is not the same as real life.). So I thought maybe I should just let go of Satanism for a while and concentrate on other things. Mum and Cassie were perfectly fine with that. But the problem was I couldn’t let it go. It was already too much part of my life. I have been learning witchcraft for quite a few years already and I couldn’t “not” be a witch. And I couldn’t stop being a Satanist either, it is what I am. So instead of leaving Satanism I went the other way. I did a big, deep and dark ritual of self dedication to Satan. And then I felt that connection and power surge that my mum and Cassie have spoken about before. In some ways I think it changed me even more than losing my virginity (which also happened during the last year).
So now I feel supercharged as a Satanist and strangely it doesn’t bother me now that I have to wait a year or two before officially joining the coven. I feel I have my own relationship with Satan now. And while I know I still have lots to learn about just about everything I am an adult now. Childhood is over and I am fully enjoying being a young adult. I will sin. I will indulge. I will learn. I will grow.
I am keeping this short and missing things out but obviously while all this was happening there were lots of long discussions with my mother and Cassie. I think as a result of all that, my relationship with my mum has changed. It was always a good relationship but now I think it is a more equal and adult one. But I will let her explain…
Sophie again… All relationships grow and change including the mother/daughter relationship. The fact that my daughter and I share broadly the same religious and philosophical beliefs has certainly helped in the past few years and I believe there has been far less conflict between us than some mothers and daughters experience. However we are indeed both Satanists and that has repercussions and consequences. Simply put, in order to be true to the beliefs and philosophy we share I have had to allow her to grow at her own pace and embark on adult life free of many of the restrictions I experienced and free of the guilt that I and many others experienced living in a world dominated by Christian values.
Only a couple of years ago when puberty was just beginning to take effect, I could still think of my daughter as essentially a child. Although she was already starting to change into a woman physically and mentally, I still saw her mainly as my little girl to be nurtured and protected. And I think even she would agree that in many ways she was still a child and was mostly quite happy to be treated as such. One of her first grown up decisions was to become a Satanist. Cassie and I discouraged her quite strongly at first, believing that it would be better for her to have more experience of life before deciding on any religion or philosophy; let alone one as outside the mainstream as Satanism is. But she was strong-willed, determined and persistent and eventually we decided it was best to respect her decision and guide her on that path as best we could. And so Satan became one of the guiding lights and cornerstones of her development as an adult. Cassie and I thought perhaps it was just a phase and we would have been ready to accept it if she had said she wanted to back out or just focus her energies on the less spiritual aspects of adolescence. But it was not just a phase. Her adulthood has blossomed within a Satanic household in which we value knowledge, pleasure and experience and where we have no great reverence for innocence and certainly no respect for ignorance.
And now sitting opposite me, Tina is an intelligent, quick witted and beautiful young woman who shares some of my beliefs and many of my pleasures and vices. But she is her own woman. She disagrees with me on some things (even concerning Satanism) and she has many interests and aspirations that have never been mine. She will always be my daughter, blood of my blood and I will always love her and be there for her in that capacity. But I also love the Satanic woman that she has become and respect her as the individual she has chosen to be. In some ways her Satanism is more pure than mine and there is much I can learn from her. We are both now daughters of Satan and go forward as equals and friends.
From time to time we get asked for advice on how to explore Satan and Satanism. Some of the seekers are more genuine than others and some are just stupid or insane! We generally don’t respond to people who want tips on how to sell their soul to the devil or what diabolical acts they should commit to be loved by Satan. However, from time to time we get rational enquiries from genuine seekers who have already done some of the leg-work and research. We are more than happy to answer such people and give what tips we can. We recently had correspondence from a person we shall call P and this post is an extended answer to some of the thoughts and questions he put to us.
The first thing I should say is that we are three Satanists who all came to Satan in our own individual way for our own individual reasons. And that statement is probably true for most people who identify as Satanists. In other words there is no “one size fits all” way of exploring Satanism or of being a Satanist. Any advice we offer here is quite general and may not be meaningful to everybody.
Here is a segment of what P asked us. “I am searching into deeper understandings of life and have come to a point where i am having to explore my hidden aspects or at least maybe aspects that i have chosen to ignore previously or even just plain forgot!! i… studied a bit to be a priest of…….. and also for a while i have trained as a …….. healer i am aware that i now need to explore the truth of satan as i do increasingly feel connected and need to express this in a truthful deep and understanding way. I feel a great love also and enjoy writing poetry affirmations dedicated to satan so would appreciate your guidance in any way that you feel appropriate for me…”
It seems to us that P has already taken the first important steps which involving crossing the frontier between viewing everything associated with Satan as taboo and forbidden, to recognizing that there is something of value in Satanism which is obscured by other traditions and prejudices. Or to put it another way; he has had the courage to follow the call into once forbidden territories. There must be many who hear that call and never respond, perhaps out of fear or perhaps out of indifference. We also think that P has a big advantage in that he has obviously explored a number of quite different spiritual paths already. We think it helps greatly to have a variety of different spiritual and philosophical experiences. Those who have no such experience or those who are escaping from Christianity tend to come to Satan with very limited and blinkered expectations that can get in the way of real progression and insight.
Moreover, P states that a large part of his motivation is to explore hidden aspects of himself. In our opinion this is a pretty much a prerequisite for any exploration of Satanism. Before you even begin to think about what kind of Satanist you might eventually become (or not) you have to be prepared to visit the dark side of yourself, your shadow, and incorporate that fully into your persona. There is a very heavy element of Jungian psychology involved here and it wouldn’t do any harm to study a bit of Jung as part of the journey. In some respects we regard much of the ritual and drama that can be involved in Satanic practice as a physical and practical outworking of Jungian ideas; freeing oneself from repression and integrating the shadow into the whole self.
Other obvious tips would be to read widely around Satanic topics in books or on the internet and be prepared to sort the gems from the rubbish (of which there is much). In the end of course the individual has to decide what they honestly agree with (even when they are surprised to find themselves in agreement) and what they regard as rubbish or worse. I would advise most people to read more generally about the occult as well (particularly if this is a new area for them) and to learn and practice whatever forms of magic they are drawn to (which can include hard science psychology, physics and chemistry).
And in the midst of all this, approach Satan himself. (You may be an atheistic Satanist; in which case Satan can be seen as an aspect of your deeper self, but even so the use of the name Satan opens channels to great knowledge and power). This is an important step but comes with a warning. Satan, whatever you conceive him/it to be, IS powerful and is not to be messed with. All of us who have gone through this process are changed by it and doing so in the wrong way, with the wrong attitude or wrong state of mind can cause problems;- serious problems. Think of it this way; if you come to a new love in your life full of affirmations of love, respect and dedication and then change your mind a few days later, or worse your affirmations were nothing more than a ploy to get your lover into bed (to experiment with him or her) how do you think this perspective lover would react? And Satan is, well, far more powerful and influential than any other jilted lover is ever going to be.
With Satan, honesty is the best policy. If you are not sure about something, say so. Don’t pretend. Honesty shows respect and perhaps that should come before dedication.
There are various ways to approach Satan and P’s way (writing poetry and affirmations dedicated to Satan) seems like a gentle and respectful way of opening the door (take note of our warning about honesty though). Anything which involves focused thought and meditation is useful in approaching Satan. Those who have studied meditation in any form may find it useful to use the methods they are familiar with, but art, music, dance, drama and poetry can be equally valid and effective ways to focus and open the mind. This is best done at the same time as reading and learning about Satanism.
At some point in this process an answer will come. It is possible that the answer from Satan or from your deeper self will be that Satanism is NOT the path for you. If that is the case, those of us who do identify as Satanists should give you respect for an honest and open inquiry and wish you luck on your continuing spiritual search. If however you come to feel that Satanism in one of it’s many forms is right for you, it is still your choice whether to walk through that door and invite Satan or Satanic Energy fully into your life. Once you have made that choice there isn’t really any way back and you will certainly feel changed and empowered. But you should also be prepared for your views and perspectives on many things to change, your way of living may change substantially and you may lose friends or find that you have to be more secretive and circumspect about many things. Some of these adaptions can be painful and difficult. So while there are many advantages in losing the shackles and sheep mentality that play a large part in most people’s lives, there are drawbacks too which you should try to prepare for.
So to anybody in the early stages of exploring Satanism, good for you! You have already shown a willingness to explore areas many would rather avoid. This shows a certain amount of courage and open mindedness. But our advice is take it slow, showing respect for yourself and the new ideas you will be flirting with. Give yourself time to really think things through. Be prepared for the possibility that Satanism may, after all, not be your thing. But also be prepared for the fact that it might be and, if so, things in your life will almost certainly change.
You may consider reaching out to other Satanists or Satanic groups and covens. Be respectful but discerning. Never put yourself in danger or in a situation where you don’t feel comfortable.
Finally, to reiterate, Satanism is a very individualistic path and each person’s route into it and life as a Satanist will be their own unique thing. We wish all who are genuinely searching in this direction all the best.
Cassie, Sophie, Tina.
I guess in many people’s opinion I am a bad person. I am self centred and I admit to having a big ego. I can be harsh or even cruel if I decide to be. I probably seem to be amoral. I blaspheme, I swear, I drink and smoke and enjoy many other vices. I have sex with both men and women. My sexual tastes can be quite dark, some might say perverse. I like erotica and even some fairly hardcore porn. My girlfriend and I make up our own relationship rules. In life I do sometimes lie and cheat (though, not with my girlfriend). I have no hesitation in taking revenge as and when it serves my purpose. If it suited my needs or purposes there is probably no law I wouldn’t break or sin I wouldn’t commit. So yes, I guess those things make me “bad” in many people’s eyes. Then when you add the fact that I am a fairly open and active Satanist, I run a Satanic coven, I organise and participate in Satanic Rituals and practice what some call black magic; and that I acknowledge Satan as my ultimate archetype, guide and inspiration… Then I guess some would say I have crossed the line between merely being bad and actually being evil.
But it wasn’t always that way. Believe it or not I was a quite sweet and innocent child. Even as a teenager and young adult, while not entirely innocent, I was generally seen as a nice, kind young woman who always meant well (and that probably isn’t a bad description of who I was then). Fortunately the devil was always whispering in my ear; some would say leading me astray, but I would say leading me to self discovery and self awareness.
But it might not have been that way. If Satan hadn’t tempted me off the safer path there are many pleasures I would not have experienced, there are many aspects of my darker self and desires I would never have known. Of course some would argue that would have been better. And that the nicer, more wholesome version of Cassie was a much better person. I disagree. Knowing myself better than most people do, I’d like to examine what that nicer version of myself might have been.
To be honest it is hard to imagine those little whispers from the devil never being there, they were always the things that gave me the edge and gave me the confidence to be more adventurous. Without them well… I doubt I would have lived and worked abroad before starting my university studies; but it was those experiences that helped me to grow up and learn. There are a lot of people I would never have met. There are a lot of musicians I would never have gone drinking with. So there are a lot of people who are important to me now who would have had no impact on my life.
If I had ignored temptation I would certainly have had less sexual experience with men and I would probably never have even kissed a girl. And if that had been the case I wouldn’t now be living with a woman whom I love and I wouldn’t have a teenage daughter whom I adore. In fact I wouldn’t be living in Zurich and this little corner of love and security would not be part of my life at all.
Without exploring temptation I would probably have played safe with my relationships. I would probably have married and possibly divorced by now. We’d be two basically nice people who wondered what went wrong. Perhaps we’d spend our days trying to do the right things for our kids. I wouldn’t have the job I have now, I would have lacked the predatory instincts to go for the promotions that have brought me success. Besides all the travel I have to do wouldn’t be doable if I had a couple of kids from a broken marriage to look after.
Spiritually I would be lost. My path was always leading somewhere but if I consistently ignored all the signs of where I was supposed to go I would eventually have given up. I’d probably compensate by being over practical and I would hear myself saying things like “Spirituality and philosophy are for young people with too much time on their hands and no responsibility.”
On the other hand I would probably be a “nicer” person, or at least seemed to be. I would alway have been kind. I would always have offered a helping hand to anybody. I would always be a shoulder anybody could lean on. But what would that mean actually? The brutal truth is I would have wasted a lot of time giving sensible advice to people who were never going to take it. I would have claimed to give energy to people when in fact I didn’t have energy to spare. I would often have offered platitudes without really being able to do anything practical to help. I would have tried to help people who didn’t really want or need help. I would have been a victim to every kind of psychic and emotional vampire. And it would never have entered my mind to do anything mean, nasty or vengeful. And the result of all that, I suspect, is that I would have become very depressed and disillusioned.
Satan has certainly given me a much harder edge. An edge that protects me and makes me strong and successful. But the thing which I hope is clear to those who know me best, is that actually I am still a rather kind and caring person; it’s just that my kindness is better directed. In fact without being bound to some of the restraints that many religions and philosophies place on people, I am able to do more for people whom I believe deserve my help and compassion. And in the wider world I am still a political leftist in most things, I still care about social issues and I do what I can to help causes I believe have merit.
Why am I saying all this now. Well, several reasons. Firstly, for personal reasons there are a few people who might be reading this that I want to explain my choices to and perhaps this post will give an insight. Secondly I imagine there may be a few people reading this who may find my experience useful in coming to decisions of their own. But mainly I just want to thank Satan for his patient work with me. Converting to a totally Satanic mindset is the best thing I have ever done. I’m glad I am not the nice but naïve woman I could have become. There is nothing of that more innocent and wholesome Cassie I want back. I like the person Satanism has allowed me to become and the lifestyle I enjoy without guilt or regrets. Some people may think I am bad or even evil. I don’t care. Those concepts no longer have much meaning to me and I think if more people intellectually examined them they might find that such things as bad and evil are ambiguous or relative at best…
I am still on a path. The spiritual journey never ends. There is always much to learn. But I have no doubt of what my chosen path is. I sincerely thank the devil for his continuing guidance and inspiration.
Hail Satan! Hail the real me!