Looking back through our archives, one of the posts that still gets the most traffic is the one about Satanic Sex. Another popular post is the one in which, several years ago, my daughter Tina decided to become a Satanist. Since then she has grown up and has a blog of her own which gets a reasonable amount of visitors. One of the questions that both she and I are most often asked is how our satanic beliefs inform our attitudes to sex and love. We are both aware that there is not much written about this subject on the net; at least, not much that we would recommend! So we decided to get together to answer some of the questions we are most often asked on this subject and maybe expand on our views and experiences a bit. First; for any visitors new to this site, a very short paragraph of background information about us.
My name is Sophie. I am 40 years of age and 17 years ago I gave birth to my precious daughter Tina. At the time I was in a long term relationship with Tina’s father. We split up fairly amicably when Tina was seven when we realized we had different directions and priorities in our lives. Tina’s father has continued to play an active and supporting role in Tina’s life and upbringing. I have been sexually active since my mid teens and I suppose I was always fairly liberal and adventurous in my sexual affairs. I’d had a couple of serious boyfriends before meeting Tina’s father (and quite a lot of less serious ones) and after the split I had a lot of liaisons with both men and women before meeting Cassie who has since become my life partner. Both Cassie and I are bisexual and still occasionally have sex with men, but we knew as soon as we met each other that we were meant to be life partners and we love each other deeply.
So I am Tina. I’m 17 in two weeks time and I have been sexually active for just over a year. I was the most innocent of children and had no interest in sex or any of the things connected with being an adult until I was about 14 and in that year I changed and grew up so much it shocked even me! When I was fifteen I started going to parties, meeting boys and kissing and stuff… I decided I should get prepared for the time when there would be more “stuff”! I had a lot of conversations with my mother and then just before I was sixteen she took me to the birth control clinic and I started taking the pill. Luckily I have always been able to talk openly about these things with my mother. A few months later I lost my virginity to my first serious boyfriend. Later I split up from him and “experimented” a bit. Now I have a boyfriend who is a few years older than me and shares a lot of my beliefs and values.
Mother’s Ground Rules.
Sex should only happen between fully consenting adults. If a person doesn’t or can’t give consent it is rape and the rapist should be punished as harshly as possible. Here in the part of Switzerland we live in the age of consent is 16. I know my daughter and I know she is adult enough to have sex if she wants to. However, not all people mature at the same pace. Tina has some sixteen year old friends who, in my opinion, are still not ready for sex. It is also fair to say that some people mature at a faster pace and maybe ready and hungry for sex earlier. Even so, the law is there to protect people and it is always best to wait until you are not breaking the law. If you can’t wait, there is something wrong. In all cases, if in doubt, don’t have sex; wait until a better time.
It is your body and only you should choose how to use it and who to share it with. Never, never do anything sexually that you don’t want to do. If a partner pressures you into doing or trying something sexually you are uncomfortable with, dump that person!
Girls. You can get pregnant! This is something the men don’t fully understand because it can’t happen to them. If you get pregnant, whether you have the child or not, it will change your life completely. So ALWAYS use birth control unless you are with somebody you don’t mind starting a family with. All women have the right to have an abortion, but abortion is a big thing that can fuck your mind and body up in all sorts of ways. It is not a form of last minute birth control.
And last of the scary warnings… AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases still exist. In fact most sexually active people catch an STD of some kind at some point. Be careful. Take precautions. In all casual sex adventures it is best to use condoms.
The Satanic Perspective.
Satanists are intelligent, scientific people and so they should take all the above warnings seriously. Satanists are self-centred and self-reliant, and must take responsibility for protecting themselves as much as possible. However, with all that being said, Satanists think sex is normal and healthy, Satanists are mostly hedonistic, meaning we see nothing wrong with enjoying carnal and mental pleasures as much as possible and Satanists are self aware so learning how to achieve maximum pleasure and satisfaction through sex (and all other things) is part of our life path and meaning. Satanists tend to value and enjoy the so called darker, left hand, sinister, side of things. We feel it is important to explore and integrate that side of things into our lives in a constructive way. That may make some of us more open to certain forms of sexual expression and fetishism than some others may be.
In practical terms, in our own family, my daughter’s blossoming sexuality and sexual appetite is not something I fear or dread (although I will always be the protective mother who sometimes gives more advice than is wanted), rather it is something I welcome and encourage as I think gaining sexual knowledge and pleasure is an important aspect of personal development.
What would you say is the relationship between sex and love?
They are not the same of course but they are very interconnected. Love can be wonderful and Satanists can fall in love as truly, madly and deeply as anybody else. I have had a lot of sexual partners but only a few partners that I was passionately in love with. The difference is huge. Of course the feeling of being “in love” is a huge and lovely thing in itself although when it doesn’t work out as you would like, or when it ends, it can be devastatingly painful. But how to cope with that is one of the life lessons it is important to learn and it says a lot about who we actually are. A loving relationship is the best situation in which to fully enjoy sex and explore your own needs and boundaries. Making love with somebody you are in love with is absolutely the best and safest way to discover and enjoy sex when you are “starting out”. And even later in life, sex within a loving relationship is almost always the best kind of sex there is. You know that Cassie and I have had sex with quite a few other people, and we still do sometimes, but when we are together our love adds a dimension to sex that beats everything and everybody else we have ever experienced.
But there is still a place for sex outside of love. It must still and always be fully consensual, but frankly speaking most people need and benefit from having sexual experiences outside of a committed relationship sometimes. Many religions are very much against that. Satanism treats people as adults with their own agency who don’t have to follow or pretend to follow any form of religious or societal rules when it comes to sex.
Is there sex in Satanic rituals?
Not always, and not in all covens and groups. But sometimes, yes. In our own coven there is nudity and there are some sexual moments or acts in some rituals. It is very rare for full intercourse to happen during a ritual, although because of the sexually charged atmosphere some people do have sex as soon as they can after the formal part is done. But there is sexual stimulation… I don’t want to go into details, but I also don’t want to tell lies. There are sexual elements in many of our coven meetings. They are not really the debauched orgies you sometimes read about but I suppose in some people’s opinion any kind of sexual activity outside what is normal for them is seen as bad… However, and this is really important… Nobody should ever be pressured into any form of sexual activity they are not comfortable with. There are several people in our own coven who prefer not to participate in some of the more sexual rituals. That is fine and we totally respect that. Really. I would say to any person starting out in Satanism or even those who are very experienced practitioners, never do anything sexually just to fit in with a group. If you feel pressured to do something against your will or that you find uncomfortable in any way, leave quickly. If necessary report them to the police. And it is probably worth getting to know several members of the group and what they do for a living, before attending any private group meetings.
Is there a Satanic view of things like homosexuality?
Not really. You know by now it is hard to find any two Satanists who agree on everything, or even anything! However, in my own experience most Satanists I have met tend to have more more liberal views in matters of sex than mainstream society. It is also a Satanic principle to break down taboos. So generally Satanists are open minded about homosexuality and most other forms of sexual expression and identity. Some homosexuals, especially those who have suffered and felt repressed by religions like Christianity, find Satanism a great release and may go into a bit of overdrive in matters of sex! In our own coven we have people of all shades and colours on the sexual spectrum.
So are all Satanists kind of uber-sexual?
No. I know several Satanists who have no interest in sex at all.
Any final comments?
Sex is healthy and fun but it is an adult thing which stirs deep emotions. Satanists (like everybody else really) should enjoy it responsibly. And in the excitement of sex, don’t overlook love. Love is something which binds and heals. Other religions don’t have the monopoly on love. It is as important for Satanists as anybody else.
And is there anything you would like to add?
Well I don’t really have much experience but maybe there are a few things I would add… Firstly sex does change you. It is not the thing of loosing your virginity, it is what happens after that, you begin to think differently and change in other ways… It is not something you can undo. I was lucky but I know some people whose first sexual experiences were not very good or happy. And they are a bit fucked up by that. They need to find their way back and kind of start again. Even I can say for sure it is better to learn about sex in a relationship than in a casual one night stand. So maybe if it starts off bad, people need to get back to the start and look for love more than sex.
Also the places where sex often happens first is at parties or clubs where there is a lot of alcohol and sometimes drugs involved. That is never good. I know some people who had big problems from that. Somebody I know online said if you are drinking at a party or club you should keep an eye on your drink and if you put it down somewhere where you can’t see it, never drink from that glass again in case somebody puts something in it.
I think I am luck that I have you and Cassie and Dad and I can talk to you about things. Some people aren’t so lucky but they should really try to find somebody trustworthy to ask for advice.
Here is a big rule from me. NEVER let your boyfriend/girlfriend/lover of any kind take photos while you are having sex. I can kind of see why people do it sometimes. It can seem kind of fun and kinky. I nearly let it happen once but didn’t. There is a girl in my school who found pictures of herself posted on Facebook and on some other sites. This is something which happens a lot these days and people should be careful. If it does happen though, remember the criminal is the one who took and published the photos, not the person in the picture.
And lastly, Satanists often say Hail Satan and Hail Yourself! Remember you can’t hail yourself unless you respect yourself.
In the last year I have realized I really like sex. But I also realized I like to be fully in control. I know there are some sexual games and fetishes where you give up a bit of control (maybe wearing hand-cuffs for example) but I don’t think these are the kind of things you should do when you are just starting out in sex. There are plenty of other things to experiment with before you get on to bondage and you don’t have to like or do everything straight away.
It is New Year’s Day. We sit in a hotel room in southern England for a few days post Saturnalia holiday to see family, old friends and old coven family. We are all quite hung-over and quite travel weary after a week of celebrations followed by fog caused flight delays and travel changes. Time for our alcohol addled brains to reflect on 2016 and look forward to a New Year.
Tina. 2016 was a big year for me. I turned 16, did a lot of growing up, discovered sex and other vices and enjoyed myself a lot! I also had my first tattoos, first serious boyfriend and all sorts of other firsts. Around me the world seemed to be going mad. My Mum and Cassie seemed quite worried about political things going on in the world but I wasn’t too concerned. I kind of felt invincible like the time for me and my generation is coming… It doesn’t matter if some crazy politicians screw things up because the people of my generation will put things right eventually. Personally I won’t show any mercy to the people who caused the mess we will have to deal with though…
For 2017 I will try my best to study and keep my marks high. This will be harder than it has been in the past because there are so many other things which are much more fun that I would like to do at the same time! Sometime this year I will go to America which I always wanted to do, but now that there will be an idiot in charge it seems like a less important ambition than it used to be… In the next few days I am going to get to know people from the Satanic Coven Cassie belonged to when she lived in England and I hope to make some good contacts there. I want to be able to be more open with more people about being a Satanist. I think I can get away with that more easily than my mother or Cassie can. Anyway, personally I have given up all things that people call morals and I will live by Satanic principle alone. I will write more about that in my own blog.
Sophie. 2016 was a year where my role as a mother changed substantially. Where Tina is concerned I decided to let go as much as I could and I have enjoyed watching her develop as a person… Perhaps I would have been the same as she is now if my parents had been Satanists. She has embraced adulthood and a lot of the hedonistic freedoms that go with the beliefs and lifestyle we have all chosen. I have seen many other mothers grow distant to their children during this phase of life but I feel that Tina and I have actually grown closer as sisters in Satan. I have found however that my maternal instincts have come to the fore in our coven where my role has expanded a lot this year and I have found that very satisfying. With Cassie away working a lot of the time I have taken over the everyday running of the coven and it is surprising just how “motherly” a role that is, even in a group of people that defy conventions and love their independence. Watching our members grow and discover their true selves within Satanism has given me a lot of pleasure. The same is true for my relationship with Cassie.
For the year ahead I want to see us all continue to grow and develop, leaving behind any remanents of pre satanic thought. For our own group and for myself I am confident that that will happen. When I think about the wider world I am more troubled. Perhaps change, even scary and dramatic change, is a good thing in the end, but it will mean difficult and testing times for many people and for the world itself. Just when the major powers were beginning to take climate change seriously we get President Trump who seems set to dramatically reverse what little progress there has been. And politics in general seems to be in melt-down. I think Satanists are called to act wisely to secure the future for ourselves and our children.
Cassie. For me 2016 was a year of even more travel than normal, a lot of hard work and increased responsibilities in my job. I loved it, but I realised that even I have limits when it comes to energy and stamina! Maybe in the coming year I need to pace myself a bit better. On my Satanic path it has been a year of twists and turns that have caused me to think deeply about things and re-evaluate my attitudes and some beliefs. This is good! I must say I have also taken great pleasure in seeing what some would call the corruption of my adopted daughter and what I call her growth, development and empowerment as a Satanic adult. She is going to be a force to be recconned with!
Politically this year has been a disaster with the growth of mindless popularism and prejudice on both sides of the Atlantic resulting in Brexit and Trump. Brexit will hit me personally quite a lot in work and my home life. I don’t know if the company I work for can continue to exist if Brexit goes ahead. And in order to secure a future for me and Sophie I am probably going to have to give up British citizenship and become either Swiss or Irish.
I think 2017 will be very painful indeed in terms of politics and world affairs. Trump and Putin on the same side… More calamity in Syria and the Middle East. More right wing popularist movements in Europe… The Brexit mess going ahead despite the fact that more and more people are realising what an utter disaster it will be for the UK…
I have become quite politically active in the past year in opposition to Brexit and part of my plan for the new year is to be more effective in that but also to pace myself and keep things in perspective. Spiritually I don’t have any specific plans except to keep learning and growing. I’m starting a new forum (details on request) and have a few ideas for our coven to persue…
We wish all our followers and readers all the best for 2017. Blessings from the Satanic Ladies!
Post by Cassie
It is only just over 4 years ago that I wrote a post on my personal blog which was in effect my “Coming Out” as a Satanist. It hardly seems possible that so much has happened and changed in my life since then. At first I deleted the “coming out” post for all sorts of personal reasons and because I was afraid of the backlash and criticism I would receive. So my first steps into Satanic life were rather timid. However, I did reinstate that post and held fast to the decision I had made. In those early months I think I felt that actually I would find a middle path that was somewhere between Satanism and the kind of eclectic paganism I had been following up to that point. A lot of Satanic writing and precepts seemed a bit too radical, self centered and even brutal to me. But I put my faith and trust in Satan and took a leap into the dark… Now I suppose I find some of my early posts from a Satanic perspective to be far too apologetic; seeking approval and acceptance. Well, it’s a journey and you learn along the way. I learnt in big dramatic steps. Within months I was fully immersed in Satanic life, believing in and participating in things I would have bulked at a few months earlier. Within a year I was writing about Satanism with much more confidence and authority, I was deeply involved in a Satanic Coven and in various online Satanic circles. My soul was darker and my heart was probably harder. Meanwhile I got a girlfriend and adopted a daughter who both became Satanists and together our Satanic journey accelerated even further.
And now my lover and I run our own Satanic Coven. There are no half measures. We are not espousing any form of watered down middle path. Ours is a fully and exclusively left hand path. We reject all other moral systems and values and live by Satanic principles and will alone. There is nothing timid or half-hearted about our beliefs. We are Satanists. Accept it or fuck off.
But is that where the story ends? So nice little Cassie gives her soul to Satan and becomes a foul mouthed, hard arsed bitch… Is that it? Is that anything worth reading about, let alone celebrating? Is that a point at which anybody who has followed the story so far can say “Oh that was cool!” or “Told you so!” or even “What a shame!”
Well don’t worry, this is not the end. This is just a taking stock. The journey continues. The journey never ends.
It is true though… I am not as “nice” as I once was. I certainly can be a foul mouthed, hard arsed bitch and I enjoy giving that aspect of myself free reign sometimes. I no longer have any shame about the darker aspects of myself, or about expressing them when the need arises. So since I am taking stock, lets look in a bit more detail at the ways Satanism has changed and helped me.
Perhaps the most important thing in the early days was that Satanism helped me to cope with the illness and death of my mother. It was complicated and difficult but I think that without the hardened edge and support network that Satan provided me with, I would have broken down. It was also at that time (coincidence?) that I met my life partner and her daughter and inherited a new family. My love and passion for Sophie began on a high but has steadily increased as we have both become ever more deeply involved in Satanism. And while I will probably never give birth myself, I couldn’t love my adopted daughter more. Her presence totally activated my maternal instincts and hormones and helped me to grow in ways I would never have imagined possible. Now she is old enough to begin making her own way in the adult world and I couldn’t be prouder of her. (More about that later).
Satanism allowed me to know myself better, to shamelessly indulge in my passions and pleasures, and to grow in confidence in leaps and bounds. That confidence has lead to several promotions and thus to a much more enjoyable, rewarding and lucrative work life. I am earning more money than I thought possible a few years ago, I am living in a very comfortable apartment in an expensive city but can still afford just about any luxury or pleasure that takes my fancy. While I have a few unhealthy vices, I am fit, active, happy and relaxed and therefore in very good health. Sophie and I are both approaching the phase of life that used to be known as “middle age” but I think we could both pass ourselves off as “twentysomethings” if we wanted to. And our own coven has given us both the opportunity to develop our maternal and organisational skills in new ways. Gradually we have become quite influential in wider Satanic circles. So it is as if in work, social, personal and coven life all limits and barriers have been removed.
So while people who used to know the nicer Cassie might regret the harder edge they see now, I am thoroughly grateful to Satan for the person I have become and the limitless opportunities ahead of me.
I am aware that there are elements of this post which I have spoken of before, not so long ago, and that is a bit of a problem… Looking back through this blog, we have already covered most of the themes that are important to us. We don’t want to get repetitive…
The thrust of this post so far might seem to be saying “Look we are fully immersed in Satanism now and everything is great;- end of story.” But that is not it.
There will be challenges ahead and we are not so naive as to think all our problems are over and this is where we stay now. No, life is always a journey. There are always new things to learn and experience in any path and it is no different for us. I think the three of us are Satanic to the core of our beings and that will probably not change. But how we live that out in the reality of the everyday world will always pose questions and challenges for us. We will continue to share what we learn from those experiences in this blog and we will continue to write about any themes that seem important to us. But since we have covered quite a lot of ground already we will probably not be posting to this blog as often as in the past. We do not want to be repeating ourselves too much.
However we have encouraged Tina to start a blog of her own. She has a very different perspective and voice to Sophie and myself. Sophie and I came to Satanism in our thirties after a lot of spiritual searching and all sorts of different life experiences. Tina, on the other hand, has been brought up in the centre of a Satanic family. In terms of philosophy and religion, Satanism is pretty much her normality in a way that certainly wasn’t the case for us, or for most people… Also, at sixteen, as she begins to explore adult life in general, her concerns and interests are quite different from our own. All three of us are aware there is not much quality material around for younger people who are interested in Satanism, certainly not much that we would recommend. Sophie and I are confident that Tina will become a good and knowledgeable example of a young Satanist. We hope she will indeed keep her blog going and we are curious to see what she will say.
So, while Sophie and I may be posting here a little less often in future, the journey of this Satanic family continues in many ways.
You can visit Tina’s blog here.
This is a post to mark a right of passage, as much for me as for my daughter. But it makes sense for Tina to speak first.
Tina speaking… Unlike my mother or Cassie I have never really been interested in or experienced any religion or philosophy except Satanism. It is true that I got interested in it because it was so important to them but since I started finding out about it myself I never really had any doubts about it. It is also true that I became a Satanist at the same time I started to change from a girl into a woman and I suppose the two things are connected.
Some months ago I started to have some doubts about continuing with Satanism. It wasn’t because I stopped believing; it was just because a lot of other things were happening (school, study, boyfriends etc) and also I was a bit frustrated with being on the fringe of things at home. (Mum and Cassie are very busy with their coven and I get on well with all those people but can’t join in with anything. I am friends with the children of the coven members but most of them are not my age and anyway, strange to say, none of them are actually Satanists themselves. The only Satanists of my own age I am in contact with are online contacts and that is not the same as real life.). So I thought maybe I should just let go of Satanism for a while and concentrate on other things. Mum and Cassie were perfectly fine with that. But the problem was I couldn’t let it go. It was already too much part of my life. I have been learning witchcraft for quite a few years already and I couldn’t “not” be a witch. And I couldn’t stop being a Satanist either, it is what I am. So instead of leaving Satanism I went the other way. I did a big, deep and dark ritual of self dedication to Satan. And then I felt that connection and power surge that my mum and Cassie have spoken about before. In some ways I think it changed me even more than losing my virginity (which also happened during the last year).
So now I feel supercharged as a Satanist and strangely it doesn’t bother me now that I have to wait a year or two before officially joining the coven. I feel I have my own relationship with Satan now. And while I know I still have lots to learn about just about everything I am an adult now. Childhood is over and I am fully enjoying being a young adult. I will sin. I will indulge. I will learn. I will grow.
I am keeping this short and missing things out but obviously while all this was happening there were lots of long discussions with my mother and Cassie. I think as a result of all that, my relationship with my mum has changed. It was always a good relationship but now I think it is a more equal and adult one. But I will let her explain…
Sophie again… All relationships grow and change including the mother/daughter relationship. The fact that my daughter and I share broadly the same religious and philosophical beliefs has certainly helped in the past few years and I believe there has been far less conflict between us than some mothers and daughters experience. However we are indeed both Satanists and that has repercussions and consequences. Simply put, in order to be true to the beliefs and philosophy we share I have had to allow her to grow at her own pace and embark on adult life free of many of the restrictions I experienced and free of the guilt that I and many others experienced living in a world dominated by Christian values.
Only a couple of years ago when puberty was just beginning to take effect, I could still think of my daughter as essentially a child. Although she was already starting to change into a woman physically and mentally, I still saw her mainly as my little girl to be nurtured and protected. And I think even she would agree that in many ways she was still a child and was mostly quite happy to be treated as such. One of her first grown up decisions was to become a Satanist. Cassie and I discouraged her quite strongly at first, believing that it would be better for her to have more experience of life before deciding on any religion or philosophy; let alone one as outside the mainstream as Satanism is. But she was strong-willed, determined and persistent and eventually we decided it was best to respect her decision and guide her on that path as best we could. And so Satan became one of the guiding lights and cornerstones of her development as an adult. Cassie and I thought perhaps it was just a phase and we would have been ready to accept it if she had said she wanted to back out or just focus her energies on the less spiritual aspects of adolescence. But it was not just a phase. Her adulthood has blossomed within a Satanic household in which we value knowledge, pleasure and experience and where we have no great reverence for innocence and certainly no respect for ignorance.
And now sitting opposite me, Tina is an intelligent, quick witted and beautiful young woman who shares some of my beliefs and many of my pleasures and vices. But she is her own woman. She disagrees with me on some things (even concerning Satanism) and she has many interests and aspirations that have never been mine. She will always be my daughter, blood of my blood and I will always love her and be there for her in that capacity. But I also love the Satanic woman that she has become and respect her as the individual she has chosen to be. In some ways her Satanism is more pure than mine and there is much I can learn from her. We are both now daughters of Satan and go forward as equals and friends.
It is a year since we heard the sad news that our friend Lee had passed from this world.
He is still often in our thoughts.
His legacy remains.
From time to time we get asked for advice on how to explore Satan and Satanism. Some of the seekers are more genuine than others and some are just stupid or insane! We generally don’t respond to people who want tips on how to sell their soul to the devil or what diabolical acts they should commit to be loved by Satan. However, from time to time we get rational enquiries from genuine seekers who have already done some of the leg-work and research. We are more than happy to answer such people and give what tips we can. We recently had correspondence from a person we shall call P and this post is an extended answer to some of the thoughts and questions he put to us.
The first thing I should say is that we are three Satanists who all came to Satan in our own individual way for our own individual reasons. And that statement is probably true for most people who identify as Satanists. In other words there is no “one size fits all” way of exploring Satanism or of being a Satanist. Any advice we offer here is quite general and may not be meaningful to everybody.
Here is a segment of what P asked us. “I am searching into deeper understandings of life and have come to a point where i am having to explore my hidden aspects or at least maybe aspects that i have chosen to ignore previously or even just plain forgot!! i… studied a bit to be a priest of…….. and also for a while i have trained as a …….. healer i am aware that i now need to explore the truth of satan as i do increasingly feel connected and need to express this in a truthful deep and understanding way. I feel a great love also and enjoy writing poetry affirmations dedicated to satan so would appreciate your guidance in any way that you feel appropriate for me…”
It seems to us that P has already taken the first important steps which involving crossing the frontier between viewing everything associated with Satan as taboo and forbidden, to recognizing that there is something of value in Satanism which is obscured by other traditions and prejudices. Or to put it another way; he has had the courage to follow the call into once forbidden territories. There must be many who hear that call and never respond, perhaps out of fear or perhaps out of indifference. We also think that P has a big advantage in that he has obviously explored a number of quite different spiritual paths already. We think it helps greatly to have a variety of different spiritual and philosophical experiences. Those who have no such experience or those who are escaping from Christianity tend to come to Satan with very limited and blinkered expectations that can get in the way of real progression and insight.
Moreover, P states that a large part of his motivation is to explore hidden aspects of himself. In our opinion this is a pretty much a prerequisite for any exploration of Satanism. Before you even begin to think about what kind of Satanist you might eventually become (or not) you have to be prepared to visit the dark side of yourself, your shadow, and incorporate that fully into your persona. There is a very heavy element of Jungian psychology involved here and it wouldn’t do any harm to study a bit of Jung as part of the journey. In some respects we regard much of the ritual and drama that can be involved in Satanic practice as a physical and practical outworking of Jungian ideas; freeing oneself from repression and integrating the shadow into the whole self.
Other obvious tips would be to read widely around Satanic topics in books or on the internet and be prepared to sort the gems from the rubbish (of which there is much). In the end of course the individual has to decide what they honestly agree with (even when they are surprised to find themselves in agreement) and what they regard as rubbish or worse. I would advise most people to read more generally about the occult as well (particularly if this is a new area for them) and to learn and practice whatever forms of magic they are drawn to (which can include hard science psychology, physics and chemistry).
And in the midst of all this, approach Satan himself. (You may be an atheistic Satanist; in which case Satan can be seen as an aspect of your deeper self, but even so the use of the name Satan opens channels to great knowledge and power). This is an important step but comes with a warning. Satan, whatever you conceive him/it to be, IS powerful and is not to be messed with. All of us who have gone through this process are changed by it and doing so in the wrong way, with the wrong attitude or wrong state of mind can cause problems;- serious problems. Think of it this way; if you come to a new love in your life full of affirmations of love, respect and dedication and then change your mind a few days later, or worse your affirmations were nothing more than a ploy to get your lover into bed (to experiment with him or her) how do you think this perspective lover would react? And Satan is, well, far more powerful and influential than any other jilted lover is ever going to be.
With Satan, honesty is the best policy. If you are not sure about something, say so. Don’t pretend. Honesty shows respect and perhaps that should come before dedication.
There are various ways to approach Satan and P’s way (writing poetry and affirmations dedicated to Satan) seems like a gentle and respectful way of opening the door (take note of our warning about honesty though). Anything which involves focused thought and meditation is useful in approaching Satan. Those who have studied meditation in any form may find it useful to use the methods they are familiar with, but art, music, dance, drama and poetry can be equally valid and effective ways to focus and open the mind. This is best done at the same time as reading and learning about Satanism.
At some point in this process an answer will come. It is possible that the answer from Satan or from your deeper self will be that Satanism is NOT the path for you. If that is the case, those of us who do identify as Satanists should give you respect for an honest and open inquiry and wish you luck on your continuing spiritual search. If however you come to feel that Satanism in one of it’s many forms is right for you, it is still your choice whether to walk through that door and invite Satan or Satanic Energy fully into your life. Once you have made that choice there isn’t really any way back and you will certainly feel changed and empowered. But you should also be prepared for your views and perspectives on many things to change, your way of living may change substantially and you may lose friends or find that you have to be more secretive and circumspect about many things. Some of these adaptions can be painful and difficult. So while there are many advantages in losing the shackles and sheep mentality that play a large part in most people’s lives, there are drawbacks too which you should try to prepare for.
So to anybody in the early stages of exploring Satanism, good for you! You have already shown a willingness to explore areas many would rather avoid. This shows a certain amount of courage and open mindedness. But our advice is take it slow, showing respect for yourself and the new ideas you will be flirting with. Give yourself time to really think things through. Be prepared for the possibility that Satanism may, after all, not be your thing. But also be prepared for the fact that it might be and, if so, things in your life will almost certainly change.
You may consider reaching out to other Satanists or Satanic groups and covens. Be respectful but discerning. Never put yourself in danger or in a situation where you don’t feel comfortable.
Finally, to reiterate, Satanism is a very individualistic path and each person’s route into it and life as a Satanist will be their own unique thing. We wish all who are genuinely searching in this direction all the best.
Cassie, Sophie, Tina.
I noticed Tina playing around on the computer making images of the three of us with various versions of Devil’s horns growing out of our heads. When we started to discuss the pictures she said that she had seen such things in her dreams. It then turned out we had all seen similar dream images of ourselves from time to time. Is that a typical Satanic thing? I don’t know. Maybe it is just a family thing for us. I guess it is not such a surprising image for the three of us to have in our heads considering the amount of time and energy we all devote to various Satanic projects. In any case it provoked some discussion and reflection among us and became the starting point for this post.
I quite like the idea of having demonic or devilish horns growing out of my head although, for practical reasons, it would probably be best if only other Satanists could see them! In some ways I would like an outward sign which could be recognizable to like minded persons of what my true beliefs and values are. Cassie and I are more open than a lot of Satanists, but still we have to be sensible and discrete… Sometimes that is annoying and it would be nice to be fully ourselves all the time without fear of prejudice or judgement. And perhaps it would also be useful for our beliefs to truly be as obvious as having horns on our head so that we were forced to be brave and be ready to defend our principles all the time in every situation.
In the images Tina has drawn my horns are a visible symbol of the ways in which I have changed and grown since becoming a Satanist. After decades of spiritual searching and following other philosophies it is now hard to believe that I could ever have been anything other than a Satanist. And perhaps in my heart I never was anything else. In a few short years I have fully immersed myself in everything Satanic and now find myself as one of the leaders of a progressive Satanic coven. I am finally being the person I want to be and living a life with clear purpose and meaning. So I wear my metaphoric horns with pride.
I must also say I am very proud of my daughter and the philosophical and spiritual direction she has chosen. I was hesitant at first about her decision to embrace Satanism herself. And if I am honest, a few years ago I might have been quite judgmental about any mother allowing or even encouraging her daughter to be a Satanist. Well my views on that have clearly changed. I am proud of my daughter in every way and the image she created of herself wearing horns pleases me greatly. It took me a while to find my true self and I learned a lot on the way to where I am now. My daughter’s journey will be different because she starts off from a fully Satanic perspective. This intrigues me but I know she will still have much to learn and question as she goes through life. However, I can only see advantages to the way Satanism has helped her to grow and develop so far and I think entering adult life as a Satanist already will give her strength and wisdom. (Sophie)
Tina Writing… So my pictures started this post and yes I often have dreams in which my mum (Sophie), Cassie and I have horns. I can’t remember exactly what happens in those dreams (they are all different anyway and don’t always make much sense) but I guess our horns have some meaning… Part of it may be because I have seen Mum and Cassie wearing horns. They have some which they use in their coven meetings. And of course I have tried them on and I like them. I am kind of impatient for the day when I can take a full part in those meetings, but that is a few years away yet… I could get some of my own for my own rituals I suppose. Maybe next time we visit an occult shop… When I am drawing on the computer, Cassie is the easiest to do. Horns suit her. She looks good as a demoness!
Anyway, what does it mean to me? I guess seeing us with horns is a symbol of what we are but can’t show to everybody. We are people who are on Satan’s side. We are people who are not in the mainstream. We know our own minds and live by our own morals. And these are things which a lot of people fear. It forces us to be a bit secretive but it means our friends are real friends. When I am with my friends at school (most of whom are not “real” friends) I feel like a spectator. I watch them acting like sheep, following the same fashions, sharing the same things on facebook, having the same problems with their boyfriends and just accepting the same supposed truths about everything without ever questioning anything, I feel like Alice In Wonderland! It’s like everybody else is on drugs and I’m not! I suppose I could just join in and sometimes I do pretend to, but it’s not the real me. Actually I think the real me is the one with horns! I read stuff they would think is really dark but it gives me another perspective. I do some of the things they do, but I think differently about it. I have a boyfriend too; unfortunately he is not really a Satanist but he is a pagan which is close… I am trying to convince him to fully join the dark side!
So for me the horns I see in my dreams and sometimes draw on my computer are symbols of our inner selves… Our true selves. (Tina)
(Cassie) So, I’m the most like a demon, am I? Well I guess I take that as a compliment! In my opinion Tina’s horns are just as impressive and I think, symbolically speaking, we all have horns now and wear them with pride. To some this post may seem too self indulgent and ephemeral. Well we make no apology for being self indulgent. I think the title is important however. It is actually about “growing” our horns or, to put it in a less ephemeral way, growing as Satanists.
Actually, just like Tina, I have seen myself and my family in various dreams sporting devil’s horns. A decade ago such visions might have disturbed me. Now I find them comforting. The imagery and symbolism is fairly obvious and I think Sophie and Tina have already summed up the symbolic meaning of such images. I’d like to concentrate more on the growth aspect.
Becoming a Satanist is for most people a big step and marks a major turning point in their life, their priorities and their values. And, as I have spoken of before, it is often accompanied by a very tangible and physical feeling of change within the person. But growth does not stop there. A Satanist should always be learning and growing and should expect certain challenges as they embrace the individual nature of Satanism. Approaching life from an entirely Satanic, Left Hand Path perspective will mean change, it will mean letting go of some former assumptions and accepting some things that may once have seemed foreign or wrong. In order to allow yourself to grow you have to abandon some of the false pride, false modesty and false niceties by which others have known you and you have known yourself. It can be difficult and painful because many of your former friends will not be able to like or accept the person you are becoming. So growing your horns may indeed sometimes hurt. At the same time, those horns begin to mark you out. There are times when you can’t or don’t want to hide them. There are times when you have to be the person you are. At such times it is really best to wear your horns with pride. The pain they might sometimes cause as they grow makes them valuable and beautiful. And they will continue to grow as you do.
Most of what I have written here and in other blogs since I fully adopted Satanism has been quite positive, but of course there have been dark and difficult times too. I lost a lot of friends. I had serious periods of self doubt. I made mistakes. I embarrassed myself in various ways. I experienced the stupid and nasty side of Satanism. I hurt people I didn’t mean to. I had to deal with various forms of grief. But, as the saying goes, “What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger!” And I have certainly changed and I am certainly stronger. While I have decided not to have children myself I find myself in full mother mode! In my heart Tina is my daughter and I will love and protect her as fiercely as any Satanic mother. But I have also become the principle mother figure in our coven and I am relishing that role. In doing that, I think I have finally shed any remaining ghosts of the pre-satanic Cassie.
So beyond the obvious I think our horns represent our growth as Satanists. They will continue to grow as an expression of accepting and developing our true inner nature. It does’t matter if other Satanists don’t visualize this in the same way. What does matter for ourselves and I think for all people, is continual growth and a continual acceptance and honesty about who and what we are. Those of us who recognize and work with the darker aspects of ourselves perhaps have a head start in that.
Well now as it happens the day on which we are ready to publish this post is my birthday. Birthdays are very important to Satanists. I intend to celebrate fully with as much sin and debauchery as possible!
Are my horns showing? I should fucking hope so!