I wrote this post four years ago just after I fully transitioned from Paganism to Satanism. That post gives a reasonable summary of what Beltane and Walpurgisnacht mean to Pagans and Satanists.
A few years later and this celebration resonates with me as much as ever. I think it is probably my favorite time of the year. Now Sophie and I lead our own coven celebrations which tend to be raucous affairs! This year we will also be squeezing in an extra birthday party for our daughter Tina who will go on to enjoy her first full blooded Walpurgisnacht with the German coven she is in the process of joining.
I feel deeply blessed by Satan that my partner and my daughter are as fully immersed in Satanism as I am. Indeed I am probably more inspired by them than by anybody else.
So while we are misbehaving and having riotous fun this weekend our best wishes go to all fellow Satanists who are partying hard and blessings also to all pagans and heathens who are celebrating too.
I want to preface this post by saying that it can in some ways be viewed as a kind of warning. We have always tried to present the positive side of Satanism and confront some of the misinformation that often circulates on the media. However, Satanism is certainly a darker path and is not right for everybody. Moreover I think it is fair to say that anybody who takes this path will have to confront aspects of themselves and of society that most people prefer not to.
Satanists and most of us who follow a Left Hand Path; a path associated with darkness, cannot help but be exposed to evil; whatever one considers evil to be. There have been times on this spiritual journey where I have come close to describing myself as fully evil and seeing evil itself as the truest expression of pure Satanism. This may come as a surprise to some who know me, even in Satanic circles, because I have usually taken a public stance which is quite different to that. But I think that all of us on the Satanic path are forced to experience and confront evil in a way that most people never do. We each go through stages in our relationship with evil and come to our own conclusions about it. Some on this path do become everything the wider world considers to be evil and are not afraid to admit that to themselves and others. Some take pride in describing themselves as evil. I do not go quite that far but I certainly do not consider or describe myself as good either. I am Satanic; and that is enough.
It is true however that the deeper one becomes involved in Satanism, the further you travel into the territory that is often described as evil by others. You may blaspheme, you may participate in black masses and other dark rituals, you may practice magic defined by others as black, the use of blood and various sexual acts may become part of your magical and ritual life. And of course you see the enemy of Christianity and several other religions, Satan; The Devil, as your guide and inspiration. You may work with demons and dark spirits. You may see the diabolical as your kin and hell as your spiritual home. I have done all of these things and I must say that once you start to explore this territory it is intoxicating and addictive. This is where the danger lurks for us. In this new territory where there are no clear maps or boundaries, it is easy to get lost. What do I mean by that?
What I mean is that we are exploring areas or our mind and psyche that are considered taboo and forbidden by many and within those dark territories there are things we don’t really think are wrong but there are other things which still may be wrong or evil or against our true nature and judgement. In the darkness and the ecstasy of exploration we can confuse those things. To put it another way, we can begin to see and experience everything in this territory as equally valid and equally much our true nature. We glimpse that we are capable of every kind of evil and may come to feel that every kind of evil is acceptable for us. This is a stage that most, if not all, people who take a Left Hand Spiritual path; or in a Jungian sense explore their dark side, must go through. I have had moments like that. I have had moments when I have felt that to kill somebody who stands in my way would be no more wrong than fully enjoying my sexuality. I have had moments when I have felt that the power to be sadistic and cruel in the extreme without any guilt or shame would be a beautiful and liberating thing. Yes, I have had moments when I have felt that everything I personally abhorred and previously thought to be really evil is everything I actually want to be. I doubt that there are many people on a similar path who have not occasionally had these thoughts and feelings.
I should add that these moments were just that: moments. When the moments were over they became stimuli for deep soul searching and internal dialogue. They became uncomfortable points of self reflection. They became lessons which slowly and uncomfortably lead to personal growth and understanding. But it is easy to see and understand how for some people (and I would never say that I am immune) these moments could become extended… These moments could become their new reality.
Yet still I think this a path worth continuing on. It is dangerous, but it is worth it for some of us (including my partner and my daughter). I would like to speak about why I think it is worth it in the context of what Left Hand Paths are really about. And finally I would like to indicate why I think that being a Theistic Satanist offers a certain amount of guidance and protection that may be missing in some other Left Hand Paths.
The idea of the Left Hand Path first surfaced in Eastern, Tantric traditions. To over-simplify it was seen as a difficult but sometimes faster path to enlightenment which depended heavily on breaking the taboos and conventions of a given time and place. For example, within communities that were vegetarian, Tantric practioners of the left hand path would eat meat. In places where sexual morals were conservative and restrictive, those of the left hand path would explore and practice all forms of sexuality that were considered taboo or depraved. The idea was two fold. Firstly (and this may be a more modern and more western interpretation) breaking conventions and taboos can be seen as a test of the moral validity of such taboos in the first place. Secondly (and perhaps most importantly in the original traditions) the aim was for the soul to remain untainted no matter how much the body was engaged with material depravity and corruption; to remain true to your higher self in the midst of the most extreme material experiences.
I try to incorporate both these aspects into my own version of the left hand path and try to remind myself of the point of it all as often as possible. Thus with each taboo that I choose to break, I evaluate all that I gain or loose by doing so and come to a new value judgement of my own about how I should regard that thing or that action myself. Moreover, when I am momentarily overwhelmed by the sensation or possibilities of something, I try not to let it overpower or consume me but rather allow my higher self to observe and note it. A little bit of Buddhist knowledge and background is very helpful here.
So an understanding of what the Left Hand Path is about can be very helpful and protective; I would say essential. However personally I find that that alone is not enough. In the moments where I have been in most danger of losing myself, it was in fact the presence of Satan that saved me.
Satan first permeated my soul in the shape of the Pagan Horned God, a figure whose voice called out to me to be heard rather than side-lined or ignored. Within the circles I moved in, people were appalled or even terrified that their somewhat neutered Horned God might be associated with the Christian Devil. Yet to me the similarities were clear. I then began to see the Christian portrayal of Satan as false and misleading. I felt His displeasure at being portrayed in such a limited and entirely negative way. And it was because I began to recognize the depiction of Satan as entirely evil as false that I became a Satanist. So when I am exploring the darker areas of my soul, it is a voice of wisdom that guides me and in particular urges me not to linger in dangerous areas for too long. It is Satan once again reminding me that he is not the caricature of evil that Christians would have us believe.
The Satanic path does require us to explore the nature of evil within ourselves and beyond, but it certainly does not require us to become evil.
I titled this post “transcending good and evil” but that might be a little misleading. What this post is about and indeed what Satanism itself is about to a large degree is transcending other people’s definitions of good and evil. As Satanists we all eventually leave behind worldly notions of good and evil and trust instead on our Satanic instincts. But we train and hone those instincts. The lessons can be hard and we can get lost but we learn and we grow. We are always accountable for our own actions and choices. We allow ourselves more freedoms but those freedoms have dangers. This is the path we have chosen but our safety on the path is not guaranteed. We can fall. We can get lost. Some people do.
For me personally (headstrong and arrogant as I can be), a focus on the true nature of Satan and a willingness to heed his advice is the strongest safety line.
For the benefit of anybody who has been skim reading this without much concentration or understanding what I am saying is that while I have glimpsed my own potential to be evil (and will do again I am sure) I have chosen not to be, and that it is Satan who keeps my moral compass pointing in the right direction.
And if you are still confused don’t worry, but don’t ever explore Satanism; you are not ready.
I have been meaning to write a post on the pros and cons of group or coven Satanism compared with Solitary Satanism for quite a while, so here it is; or a first try anyway.
A short piece of personal background. I started off very much as a solitary Satanist, but from the beginning I was in contact with other Satanists over the Internet in various ways. I then met Sophie so then we were two, then three including our daughter; and eventually Sophie and I started our own coven. As a result I have looked at this subject from several perspectives.
I will start off by saying that in my opinion all Satanists are essentially solitary even if they regularly or occasionally work with others. Individualism is a cornerstone of Satanism, so while we can, and I think sometimes should, collaborate with other Satanists; we never stop being the authors of our own individual lives and beliefs. Any group that demands we conform to beliefs or practices which we don’t agree with is a group to be avoided. With that said it is still usually possible to find groups with which it is enjoyable and beneficial to collaborate and cooperate.
I will talk about the possible benefits of working with other Satanists first, but also raise some reservations. In the end I will come back to my first point that we are all essentially solitary.
For the vast majority of us the decision to become or identify as a Satanist is a very profound and deeply personal thing that happens very much within our heart, mind and soul. It is liberating but marks a huge departure from the mainstream of public opinion. We are choosing to follow a way that is very misunderstood and thought of as perverse and evil by many. It is therefore comforting to meet and get to know others on a similar path and deeply satisfying to be able to be your true self in front of others without the need of excuses or explanations. These days many of those encounters are likely to be over the Internet on various forums where distance is not an issue. Sometimes these encounters will be helpful and fulfilling and could be the start of meaningful friendships between like minded people. These connections can be very important in gaining knowledge via other people’s experiences. There must be caution however because there are a lot of creeps and idiots posing as Satanists on the Internet (some of whom genuinely believe they Are Satanists) who are dangerous and can do a lot of harm to individuals and the real Satanic community.
Assuming you navigate your first encounters with other Satanists carefully and successfully you may want to reach out for closer, more personal, deeper and sometimes more intimate connections with other Satanists. There could be several reasons for this. Some are naturally more social than others and simply want to physically spend time in the company of other Satanists. Those who practice greater magic may feel that their knowledge and power will be magnified by working closely with others. Many will understand the power of drama in ritual with others to unlock and unleash the Satanic mind more fully. For myself it was a mixture of all these things plus a desire to feel immersed in Satanic thought, life and culture that drew me into seeking out and joining a coven.
I was lucky in that I found a suitable coven fairly quickly; for others geography and other factors can make finding the right coven take much longer. It is worth spending time over and you should never join a group which makes you feel uncomfortable or where there is pressure to do things you don’t want to. The intelligent Satanist will wait and may ultimately decide it is better to remain solitary than hook up with people you don’t want to be associated with. I felt nurtured and educated by my coven and that being with them gave me the space and confidence to become my true self. Now Sophie and I have our own coven which is both a social group of people who have roughly the same philosophy and hopefully a caring community which promotes the personal growth of each member. Some of our meetings are purely social but we feel we grow by working magic and engaging in ritual with each other. Again there is a sense of freedom and liberation that comes from full and shameless engagement with the diabolical realm in the company of other dark souls. So for us being in a coven is an important part of our Satanic life and experience. It is not and does not have to be that way for everybody however.
While I enjoy the dramatic, ritual and ceremonial aspects of working in a coven and the comradery that goes with that, I still acknowledge that Satanism is essentially a path of personal and intellectual growth and development. You don’t always need anyone else to facilitate that. Indeed for the Satanist (even those of us who believe in a Satanic entity of some sort) I would argue that it is essential to rely first and foremost on one’s self and none other. Many people can and do go through their Satanic lives keeping their philosophical or spiritual views very much to themselves. Very often it is both wise and useful to keep your head down and not draw unwelcome attention. Sometimes this can be the most effective way to live out Satanic principles in everyday life. It is a truism that some of the most dedicated Satanists are people whom the the gullible masses would never suspect of being such.
There are probably far more Satanists who do their own private thing than those who are actually members of groups or covens. There are many advantages in not having to compromise with others in perusing your own beliefs and personal development. Thus for many Satanists the lone path is the path of choice. Even for those who would ultimately like to engage more with other Satanists the lone path can be educational and empowering. And the lone path is where we all begin.
Even while working in a group every Satanist is an individual whose path is unique and whose priority is the empowerment of his or her self. We are all different. Some of us may want or need the company of others as an aspect of expressing ourselves and our beliefs, others don’t. We have chosen a path of self empowerment and we must make our own experiments and choices when it comes to crafting our own lives unrestrained by the norms or taboos of society. Certainly we should not be restrained by the views of other Satanists.
Coven or solitary? It’s whatever works best for you. And there is no reason we can’t be both.
As as suggested by Blau Stern Schwarz Schlonge, I asked my daughter to write something about what being a Satanist means to her. I haven’t corrected anything she wrote. Of course she expresses and prioritises something’s differently to me but I think she did a very good job of writing in English and she makes me very proud! She’ll be getting a special treat when we go out for brunch today at our favourite restaurant! ~Sophie~
Hello, my name is Tina and my mother has asked me to write something about being a young Satanist. Really I think she mostly wants me to practice writing in English but I don’t mind because I like English.
So first I will say something about me. Actually I am Swiss. My first language is German but at home we also speak English. I can also speak French and Italian but not so good as English. I like languages. I also like animals and nature. I have a pet spider. Next year I will be 15 years old. The photo at the top is me but my mothers don’t allow me to ever put photos of me on the internet so I photoshopped it so much that nobody can recognise me. My mothers think it is okay.
My family is not usual. I have one father and two mothers. My father works for a music company which is cool because sometimes he takes me to concerts and I get to go backstage and meet famous people. This year I met Nick Cave and D.J. Otzie. But my mother and father split up a long time ago so I only see my father every few weeks. He and my mother are still friends though and sometimes we go out together. A few years ago my mother fell in love with a woman called Cassie. This year they got married and the three of us live together in Zurich. Cassie is funny and cool. Of course she is not really my mother in the normal way but I think about her like she is anyway. You might think it is strange having two mothers but mostly I like it. The only problem is they are both teachers. Can you imagine that??!!
Well I am supposed to be telling you about being a Satanist. Some people think Satanists are very bad, but they are wrong. Satanists can be good or bad it is up to them to decide. I think I am mostly good. My mothers are both Satanists too. Probably that is mostly why I am already a Satanist because I asked them lots of questions about it and it makes sense to me. If they were not Satanists it might have taken me a longer time to be one as well, but I still would be one eventually.
I don’t believe the bible stories are true. They are just stories. But in those stories my favourite person is Satan or The Devil. He is supposed to be the bad guy, but I don’t think he is. I think he is just trying to help people to start being free and not live like stupid animals in a garden where all they can do is worship the owner. How crazy is that? I would hate it if I was in that situation. So for me Satan is the hero of the story and I would be on his side.
Actually I am an atheist. I don’t believe in any God (especially not the one in the bible). But I do think there are other kinds of life in the universe and I think Satan is one of those very old and wise life forms. I don’t think any of the stories about him are actually true they are just ways that people try to explain things they don’t understand. I think Satan is a life made of energy and he can communicate with us with a kind of telepathy. Maybe not all people but some of us feel a kind of connection. That means the stories in the bible were also just ways to try and explain things that people couldn’t understand. And that is why the stories about Satan are a bit confusing and primitive. Some people didn’t understand the telepathy. (That’s what I think anyway).
So here are the things which Satanists believe. Firstly that Satan is a good example to follow. Not just the Satan the Bible speaks about but the Horned male God you see stories of in lots of old religions. But still you have to understand that stories are just stories to explain things they are not usually things which really happened. Secondly, you have to think for yourself and try to be a better person. Question everything! Thirdly, human beings are animals like all other animals not better or more worse. We shouldn’t be ashamed of being animals and we should treat animals fairly with respect. Fourth we don’t have to be kind to everyone and we can take revenge on people who are bad to us if we want to, but we should be kind to our family and friends and anyone else we want to be nice to. Fifth, we can do magic to make things happen how we want. Sixth, it’s okay to have fun as long as you don’t hurt yourself. Seventh, you can boast about the good things you do but you also have to take responsibility when you do things wrong. Last, we are against people and whole religions which try to stop people thinking for themselves, like Christianity for example. (This list is made up by me, it isn’t something official)!
Well actually there are a lot more things but those are the best ones and this is already the longest thing I wrote in English that wasn’t a homework assignment!
It would be nice if there were more Satanists my age even though my mother says its best not to decide things like this until you are older. Some of my mother and Cassie’s friends have children who believe mostly the same as me but at school there isn’t anybody and it’s not the kind of thing you should talk about too much because then people might think you are bad because they don’t really know what Satanism is about.
What I think is you don’t have to be a Satanist but you shouldn’t be afraid to admit it if you are one, which I am. On the other hand it’s best not to talk about it with most people. Most people would not know or even guess that I am a Satanist. That is fine because it is what is inside that counts. If you are thinking about being a Satanist you should find out all about it first. Mostly it just means you just have a different way of thinking about things than other people but also it gives you a kind of power which grows and grows. I don’t mean like Masters Of The Universe or any other super heroes, it is just something you can feel inside which helps you sometimes.
And that is all I can think of to say right now.
Have a nice day! Satanic Blessings from me, Tina!
Sophie and I both make a point of inviting the company of, and working with Incubi and Succubi. These entities are considered by many to be dangerous demons that can cause deterioration in health or even death. We do not in fact take that warning lightly and will speak of some potential dangers at the end of this post. For the most part however we are very comfortable in working with demons in general and sexual demons in particular. For those who are less familiar with us or our blog, I d like to explain our perspective on demons first.
Demons are any spiritual entities that Christianity deems to be bad, or against them or on the side of the devil. There are various lists of demons but in general they seem to be anything that the Christian authorities proscribe including the gods and goddesses of other religions. Therefore as Satanists we do not trust the definitions and warnings of a religion which opposes most of what we stand for; and we believe it is wise to test things out and come to our own conclusions. That does not mean we think that all demons are safe and cuddly, and indeed some are far from that; but we find out for ourselves and we make our own choices about the energies and entities we engage with. Further to that, we take precautions and make contact with these things only under guidance and after study. To do otherwise would be stupid and could indeed be dangerous.
We have spoken of demons before in this blog and in short Sophie and I are unsure about exactly what they are. They could be actual entities, energies or manifestations of our own psyche. We think the likely answer is that individual demons could be one or all of the things mentioned. What seems more important to us is how we engage with them and what the effects of that engagement are.
Incubi and Succubi are demons that are mainly associated with sex. We suppose that this fact alone has prejudiced ideas and discussion in the western world, where religious authorities have always tried to police and control the individual’s sexuality and experience. An incubus (nominal form constructed from the Latin verb, incubo, incubare, or “to lie upon”) is a demon in male form who, according to a number of mythological and legendary traditions, lies upon sleepers, especially women, in order to have sexual intercourse with them. Its female counterpart is the succubus. Some traditions hold that an incubus may pursue sexual relations with a woman in order to father a child, for example some versions of Arthurian legend state that Merlin was sired by an Incubus. Christian authorities commonly state that repeated intercourse with an incubus or succubus may result in the deterioration of health, or even death. We feel this says more about their discomfort with masturbation and sexuality in general than anything else. For example;-
“When the semen falls outside of the womb, then because of its corrupted salts certain parasites are formed. These parasites adhere to the Astral Body of the one who created them. Thus, in this way, they absorb the life of their creators. The masturbating males engender “succubi” and the masturbating females engender “incubi.” These larvae incite their creators to incessantly repeat the act of masturbation which gave them life. They have the same color as the air, therefore they cannot be seen by simple sight.” – Samael Aun Weor, Occult Medicine and Practical Magic
“Women who masturbate engender incubi from their spilled seminal fluid. Likewise, men who masturbate engender succubi from their ejaculated semen. Incubi are masculine and the succubi are feminine. These “elementaries” incite their progenitors to repeat the perverted vice that gave them life; they live at the expense of the Vital Body of their progenitors. This is how incubi and succubi physically weaken their victims. […] The phantasmata elementaries wander around at night and go to the beds of fornicators in order to fecundate their spilled seminal fluid, from which countless larvae of all types emerge.” – Samael Aun Weor, Logos Mantra Theurgy
… These germs which are formed in the imagination are born of Amore Heress, which signifies the type of love whereby a man imagines a woman, or vice-versa, in order to copulate with the image created within the sphere of his mind. The expulsion of a useless, ethereal fluid results from this act, incapable of producing offspring but instead bringing larvae into existence. Imagination used in this way gives birth to an exuberant shamelessness which, if pursued, can make a man impotent and a woman sterile, because during the frequent practice of any such unhealthy visualization, much real creative energy is lost. The larvae-egos of lasciviousness are real, thinking, autonomous entities within which a good percentage of consciousness is imprisoned.” – Paracelsus, De Origine Morborum Invisibilium
Paracelsus goes on to say, “the incubus and succubus are parasitical creatures subsisting upon the evil thoughts and emotions of the astral body. These terms are also applied to the superphysical organisms of sorcerers and black magicians. While these larvæ are in no sense imaginary beings, they are, nevertheless, the offspring of the imagination. By the ancient sages they were recognized as the invisible cause of vice because they hover in the ethers surrounding the morally weak and continually incite them to excesses of a degrading nature. For this reason they frequent the atmosphere of the dope den, the dive, and the brothel, where they attach themselves to those unfortunates who have given themselves up to iniquity. By permitting his senses to become deadened through indulgence in habit-forming drugs or alcoholic stimulants, the individual becomes temporarily en rapport with these denizens of the astral plane. – Secret Teachings of All Ages (1928) by Manly P. Hall
(The above texts are abridged from gnosticinformation.org).
Thus if you regard indulging your vices as immoral or sinful Incubi and Saccubi should be avoided. If not,there is the possibility to look at them in a different way, perhaps as sexual healers or teachers.
We feel that in the past (and perhaps still in the present) Incubi, or at least the traditions associated with them, may have been used as a scapegoat for extra marital affairs and the children resulting from such liaisons. More disturbingly we also think that Incubi may often have been blamed for rape so as to avoid dealing with the real culprits.
We see the sexual demons we work with as friends, lovers and teachers. We will not go into any details about how we invoke or evoke these entities in our own practice except to say it involves a lot of meditation, visualisation and other magical techniques, usually before or during sexual activity or shortly before sleep. In our experience the demons then make their presence known during sex or during sleep. Why do we choose to do this? Well, it is part of a learning curve about ourselves. This kind of sex often takes you beyond normal barriers and opens up new spectrums of emotion and sensation. It can and sometimes does change change you in subtle or not so subtle ways. I suppose mostly however we indulge in these activities because we enjoy them very much.
As bisexual women who live as a lesbian couple we certainly enjoy the presence of well endowed Incubi since, by choice, we no longer have much sexual activity with actual men. However, our most frequent demonic partner is a Succubus whom we love and who has taught us (among other things) many new ways to pleasure each other.
As to what these entities and the associated experiences actually are, we do not claim to be sure. We are prepared to believe that to a large degree these are projections of our own subconscious, super-charged fantasies driven by our darker more mysterious side set free by the magical processes we use. And yet sometimes the effects are so intense and physical (yes there are often marks and scars to prove it) that we don’t rule out the possibility that we are engaging with actual beings of some sort. In any case, out of respect we deal with these things from the perspective of the lore and traditions by which we have come to know them.
Be warned though, all dealings with demons whether they are sexual or not, involve a trade off of some kind and the practitioner must be very clear with them-self and the entity in question about what the deal really is.
Also, these kind of activities can be self indulgent and could easily become addictive. The idea that working with sexual demons can sap your strength and vitality even to the point of death does indeed have some truth in it if you lose control. For the experience to be positive and healthy, you must be in control and that means you need to study and do your homework before experimentation. For example there are some Incubi and Succubi who would require you to be monogamous with them which is very important to know from the outset. A demon scorned is going to make your life deeply unpleasant! Even after doing your research and preparation there can be hazards. I consider myself a fairly competent witch with a lot of experience in matters of the occult. Even so, I have made some mistakes in dealing with Incubi, Sacubi and other demons and have suffered consequences. Nobody should embark on these kinds of activities unless they are prepared to study and also learn from mistakes which can sometimes be painful. For the thoughtless and unwary, psychological and physical damage could be significant and permanent.
Once all these warnings have been taken into account however relationships with sexual demons can be enjoyable and rewarding at a very deep level.
When you have sex with somebody you love, the feelings and connection you have with your lover do not end with the climax but rather are multiplied and remain with you in a blissful afterglow. It makes you desire your lover even more and so each time you make love this afterglow becomes a more substantial and tangible aspect of what makes you who you are. That is how it is with Cassie and I; but it is also how it is with us and Satan…
A well planned and executed ritual can have a similar impact to sex (especially when there are sexual elements within the ritual itself). Thus a ritual can be a way of building up the connection between your self and your deity (or your higher self). Our Walpurgisnacht ritual was special in several ways, not least because it was the first we celebrated alone together.
For me personally I think it was a turning point. It was the closest I have ever felt to whatever Satanic energy is, and it left me with the clearest sense of dedication and purpose I have felt in my spiritual life.
There was a point during our ritual when contrary to my normal sceptical and quite dominant nature I wanted to submit and totally give all control of my will over to Satan. Anyone familiar with the emotions felt during sexual dominance and submission role play might understand something of what I was feeling. And yet…
Satan (whether that is my own higher self or an actual entity) did not and does not want that. I had a strong sense that what Satan actually wants is for me (and all people) to fully take control of my own life. I knew that before, but the drama of ritual made it clearer and hugely empowering.
I have always been a free spirit and independently minded but this ritual was like a sudden bolt of lightening which illuminated areas of my life which need work and could be more authentic.
By authentic I mean living according to what I truly feel and believe rather than pretending to accept things simply because that is the path of least resistance. (Thanks for that phrase Cassie!).
Of course there are some things which it is wise not to speak about too openly as Satanists. There are times when it is intelligent not to rock the boat. But it is important not to lose sight of the fact that the boat ultimately does need rocking and that the majority view is not necessarily the right one.
In my own case I have realised there are political things in Switzerland which I go along with although I think they are wrong and actually I don’t have to. There are things I don’t say in various aspects of life because my views would be unpopular or controversial, but some of them could be said without doing myself any harm. There are times when I allow people to assume things about me which are false when in fact “sometimes” I would be doing both myself and the other people a favour by not seeming to meet their false expectations.
All of the above things are probably true for most people at some time or other, maybe it is good to have a lightening strike once in a while to show up the areas where we could live a bit more authentically. I doubt if many people on their death-beds regret being themselves. In many magazines I have read that people who have been close to death or who have had near death experiences often say the lesson they took with them was to live more fully as themselves and not spend so much time trying to fulfill other people’s expectations.
In any case this is the message I took with me from Walpurgisnacht and I will adjust a few aspects of my life accordingly. It was not the only message though…
I must confess I have had some problems with using the term Satanist as the main description of my spiritual path. I have never doubted the philosophy and lifestyle of satanism since I began to investigate it, my problem is something else… I have always thought it important to be what we call in German, “konsequent”. Most dictionaries do not translate this word very accurately into English. It is not quite the same as Consequent or consequence. It sort of means doing what you say or that your actions flow logically from what you claim to believe. It is an important concept for me and is very similar to the notion of living authentically. It means the things you actually do or say in your life should accurately reflect the beliefs and values you claim to hold.
For many years I used the term Buddhist to describe my values and the change to Satanism seems like a big jump. I was not sure if I was really being Konsequent. Moreover, if you are really being konsequent can any religious, spiritual or philosophical label be meaningful if there is a possibility that it can change?
During our ritual this question came into sharp focus and so did the answer. It came into my head that Satanism is above all things a state of mind in which you question things without prejudice, including your own assumptions… A state of mind that values independence of thought, education and growth. It is a state of mind which is not static but which embraces change. In this way I have always been a Satanist and always will be, even if my understanding and interpretation of specific things changes along the way.
As a result of all these things becoming clear to me during our ritual I am feeling full of positive, satanic energy at the moment. There is a part of me that would like to go to my window and shout out to the world how beautiful and empowering Satanism can be. (Don’t worry, Cassie and my daughter are keeping me well grounded)! One thing is for sure and that is that I feel much more positive and confirmed in my satanic path going forward and there will be at least a few consequential changes.
P/S. As some of you may know from previous posts, Cassie and I are both smokers. A while ago we were discussing the fact that these days to admit that you enjoy smoking is almost as taboo as admitting that you are a Satanist! Well since we quite enjoy challenging taboos we have decided to start a new blog project on the theme of smoking. If anybody is interested or would like to know more please visit us a at http://smokerswrites.wordpress.com/
pps this is our second attempt to post this; WordPress seemed to be sleeping the first time round.