Our Satanism

It could be that our period in lockdown as a family of three Satanic Witches is coming to an end. Here in Switzerland many restrictions are being lifted or eased. There is some possibility that I might be able to get back to my proper job and start travelling again to some limited degree at least. Léonie might be able to visit her girlfriend in Germany soon before heading back to her own home in Vienna. So while we are actually still together we thought it would be good to write a short summary of what our Satanism actually is and what we believe. We have each grown into Satanism in different ways and in the last few weeks in lockdown we have come to appreciate some of the subtle differences in our beliefs and perspectives. What follows is a list of the things that are important to us and which we can agree between ourselves. We have tried to avoid referring back to what Satanists should believe or what other Satanists argue or write about. The following is a summary of “our” version of Satanism.

Satanic Identity

To us, calling ourselves Satanists means that we identify with and support the character known as Satan or The Devil in Christian and Jewish literature (probably Islamic literature too but we don’t know enough about the way Satan is depicted in Islamic scriptures). However, (and it is a BIG HOWEVER) we don’t believe Satan is evil or that we should be or are evil; rather we believe Satan has been misrepresented and that that if you look between the lines and read with your mind open, Satan (even as described in the Christian Bible) is actually the hero and the liberator opposed to an oppressive god. Thus we believe in challenging orthodoxy of any type, we believe in using our own judgement and our own free will in all things. We believe knowledge is power and that we have a right to gain and use all the knowledge and power that is available to us. We choose to eat the fruit of the tree of knowledge and to grow to our full potential as a result.

We challenge conventions and taboos where we feel it is necessary to. We don’t believe the God of the Christian tradition is “good” or that anything held up as good by that religion should be accepted without challenge. Nor do we believe the example the god of the Judao-Christian religions sets and represents is anything to aspire to. We make up our own minds about what is good, bad or evil in any situation. Again we go back to the example of The Devil, who challenged and argued with god. We take Satan’s side.

The Bible

We don’t believe The Christian Bible (or any other religious scripture) is a literal account of anything that actually happened. We refer to it only because it informs the opinion of many people we disagree with. We believe the Bible and other scriptures are collections of stories and fables with at best tenuous links to anything that happened in reality. We do think some of the stories that are contained in such literature can be powerful and thought provoking but too often they are covered in many layers of other people’s interpretation and are primarily used to support religious social control.


We see Satan (as depicted in the sources already mentioned) as a symbol and archetype of opposition to religious authority and all authorities that try to control and restrict the will and the lives others. As Satan rebels, so do we.

As opposed to the majority of modern atheistic Satanists, we are “Theistic” in that we believe there is an actual energy or entity associated with the Symbol of Satan. We do not think of this entity as God in the way mainstream religions understand such a thing, nor do we worship Satan in the way other religious people worship their gods; but we do respect,  ally and connect ourselves with this entity through ritual and meditation.

Left Hand Path

The terms left and right hand paths are mainly only used and understood by those who have an interest in the occult or esoteric matters (and even here there can be disagreement about what the terms mean). We see both paths as equally valid and ultimately leading to the same thing which could be summed up by personal and spiritual growth and enlightenment. Our understanding of the Left Hand Path we follow is based to a large degree on ancient tantric definitions. We break taboos and engage with the grittier, darker aspects of the world to enrich our experience and knowledge. While we do meditate and engage in rituals, the main focus of our path is engaging fully in all aspects of material life (no matter how others characterise it as good or bad) while preserving our personal and spiritual integrity.

Witchcraft and The Occult.

Many (but not all) Satanists are witches who study and engage in occult practices. We are Satanic witches who use what Anton LaVey described as greater and lesser magic. The shortest explanation of which is that we use all knowledge and power available to us. A large amount of that power comes from developing and strengthening our own will power. We also rely heavily on the use of psychology to manipulate situations in our favour. In addition to all that, we study and use all elements of witchcraft that have been passed down over the centuries, including the use of spells and potions and working with energies and entities which still come outside of what science can explain at present. As Satanists and Left Hand Pathers we tend to work often with entities/energies outsiders refer to as demons. Unlike Wiccans and many other Pagans, we don’t place any rules or limits on what we can use our magic for. Some would describe us as using “black magic” but we don’t see any value or meaning in that term. We use whatever form of magic is best suited to our aims. We acknowledge that we “could” harm people but find there is rarely any necessity for intelligent witches to embark on a course of nasty or harmful magic. That being said, we don’t rule out using magic that some would disapprove of.


Hedonism is an aspect of Satanism we fully engage in. Many other religions have put all sorts of limitations on how and when people can take pleasure in life and often seem to imply that pleasure itself is wrong, bad or selfish if not monitored or controlled by the “authorities”. We don’t believe this. We like to have fun and fully indulge our senses; moreover we believe this is psychologically good for us and helps us to grow in knowledge and wisdom. We tend to be very liberal in our attitude to things like sex and drugs and indulge in these things without guilt when we want to. We also enjoy and participate in all things cultural and artistic as often as we can. At the same time we firmly believe in balance and intelligence. Just because we give ourselves permission to indulge in all pleasurable things, doesn’t mean we have to or should do so all the time. We believe we are ultimately responsible for looking after our own bodies, so our desire for pleasure must always be balanced by what is good for our bodies and healthy for our minds.

Personal Responsibility

This is particularly a key concept for our family. We believe all people should take responsibility for their own lives and actions as much as they can (we acknowledge that some have greater ability and possibility to do this than others for economic, health and social reasons). We do not thank God or The Devil for our own good fortune; nor do we blame any outside entity for our own failings and mistakes. We believe that when using all the accumulated power and wisdom we can avail ourselves of, we (and all humans) have a great deal of potential power. The desire to fully realise that power is a large part of what makes us Satanists. However we do believe that with great power comes an equal amount of personal responsibility. It behoves us to think carefully about how our actions effect others and ourselves. We take credit for our success and try to learn from our mistakes.

Social Responsibility

We believe that our world is riven with many divisions that don’t serve anybody (including ourselves) well. Unlike some in the Satanic community, we don’t see ourselves as islands somehow isolated from and insulated by what happens in wider society; but rather, we acknowledge that everything that happens in our geographic community and the wider world can have an impact on our lives. Therefore we believe we must engage with the world in all ways and at all levels to end the divisions and injustices we abhor. We are against all forms of racial, sexual, gender and economic prejudice. We believe that a fairer, kinder, more inclusive world will ultimately enable us to live our own lives more fully and more totally in line with our Satanic principles. We also believe we must safeguard the environment of the world for future generations of enlightened souls. For all these listed reasons our political views and choices tend to be left wing/socialist/progressive. Individually we have each been described as Socialist-Libertarian in the various tests that go around social media.

Personal Morality

We consider ourselves to be moral people. We try to be kind and helpful to others when we can. We are loyal to each other and to our covens, family and friends. We try to think through the consequences of our actions where possible and act accordingly. However we do not strictly follow the rules set down by any religion or other authority. We don’t think it is always wrong to obey rules but we would never blindly accept or follow any rules or instructions without questioning and thinking about them first. We particularly disagree with many of the moral values and rules set down by the Judao-Christian traditions. We often use the Satanic Statements devised by Anton LaVey as a starting point for moral and ethical decisions, but we don’t even view those statements as rules which must be obeyed. We don’t believe there are any moral absolutes because we can think of exceptions for virtually any rule we can imagine. However we can think of very few reasons to excuse murder, and even fewer to excuse rape. In all things we must come to our own judgement. In matters of sex and sensual pleasure our moral values revolve around honesty and consent rather than outdated religious edicts. While we generally try to be kind and  helpful to everyone; we don’t believe in turning the other cheek when somebody wrongs us (unless we can see some advantage to doing so) and we reserve the right to take revenge in any way we see fit. We are all advocates for inclusive rights and equality for all races, all genders, and all expressions of sexual identity. We support responsible free speech but deplore presenting opinion as if it were fact.

Science and Learning

We are all interested in science and believe the scientific method (while not infallible) is the best way humanity has to understand the world and the universe we live in. We believe that learning as much as possible about all that interests us and growing as individuals in every way is a very large part of the reason for living.

Life after or beyond this mortal coil.

We are all agnostic about this and actually there is wide divergence and disagreement between the three of us about whether we have souls and, if so, what happens to them after death. What we agree on is making the most of the life we are living while we can.

Ritual, Blasphemy and Meditation.

While we generally dislike anything that reeks of religiosity, we have all come to value the three things mentioned in this heading. We see meditation (which can take many forms) as a very useful tool and exercise for strengthening will power and generally improving the health of your mind and body. We would recommend it to everybody. It forms the basis of most of our magical work and aids us in all our learning and study. It also comes into ritual and blasphemy. Blasphemy, in thought, words and actions is a powerful tool of self definition and helps break down the all pervading cultural conditioning of the society we live in. We see ritual as a psychological drama which also acts as a tool for focusing our mind on specific aims and opening doors in our subconscious.

Carl Jung Our Shadow Sides

“Where there is light, there must also be shadow.” If we did not call ourselves Satanists we would probably call ourselves “Jungians”. The philosophy and psychology of Carl Jung is central to our understanding of ourselves and life in general. There is very little he wrote that we don’t agree with (although none of us are expert enough to be qualified authorities on Jung, yet…). We agree with some of his more spiritual views but more importantly we agree with his views and teachings on Persona, Archetypes and Shadow. We believe it is important, probably essential, to explore and integrate our darker, ‘Shadow’ sides, in order to develop fully and holistically. We “know” our “light” sides, the kind, loving, socially acceptable aspects of ourselves that the world is not threatened by… We are discovering and owning our darker natures as well, in order to develop and grow as human beings and become more powerful, effective and “whole”. For us, Satanism is in many ways the gateway and route-map to that journey.

And Finally…

Another reminder, we are a group of three Satanic women linked by family. We speak for ourselves and not for Satanism in general. We have highlighted here the things the three of us agree on. There is plenty about which we disagree. As hinted earlier, we each have very different views on life after death. There are also differences in our degrees of theism and atheism. I probably take a more polytheistic, spiritual view of life and death. Léonie tries to find scientific rationalisation in everything. Sophie is somewhere in the middle but often more creative and artistic in her approach. We are all quite different in how we apply Satanism in our everyday lives, and which aspects of our beliefs are most important at any particular time. And while we are all libertines and hedonists, our tastes and indulgences are all quite different too. But perhaps our disagreements should be left for another post one day…

Cassie, Sophie and Léonie (The Satanic Muses)

Written during lockdown 2020

“Change of Life” Reflections on menopause and motherhood

I think perhaps the coronavirus lockdowns are making us all more self reflective. That is not a bad thing. My daughter recently published a post here and on her own site “Femme Diabolique” giving her thoughts about what it is like to be living back at home with myself and Cassie, and what she has learned from the experience. That post made me realise there are some issues and changes concerning myself that I haven’t fully acknowledged or thought about in detail.

I’m in the menopause, a time often described as a change of life. In the years leading up to these physical and chemical changes in my body, I became a Satanist; another huge change of life. In many ways the two things combined… In addition to that; my relationship with Cassie has deepened, my job has changed and my daughter transitioned from girl to independent woman. With hindsight I realise there was probably a lot of stuff in my life that I didn’t fully process.

The onset of menopause was actually less dramatic than I feared it would be. I don’t know what I was expecting… Perhaps I feared I would somehow lose my femininity, my identity as a woman, my sex drive… Actually I felt more feminine, more politically aware as a woman and my sex drive actually increased. There were downsides… I did start getting annoying and strange hot flushes. I have been more moody. There has been some soreness, some physical aches and pains and subtle changes in the way I look (but really subtle and not all negative). What I now realise is that the biggest changes were psychological (with hormonal help). And it is with some degree of amusement that I can now see that in many ways I became a teenager again!

I had just become a Satanist which gave me permission to be and do all the things I had always wanted to be and do. And like a rebellious teenager I went about breaking all the conventions that surrounded me in an “in your face”, “fuck off if you don’t like it” kind of way! I went out of my way to become what I perceived as an archetypal Satanic woman; to break taboos and laugh in the face of conventional morality and ethics. I persuaded Cassie to join me in joining a swingers club where we indulged in things we had only ever seen in porn films and I indulged all the vices I had ever had and discovered some new ones… Moreover, I became the “wicked mother”and actively encouraged my blossoming daughter to engage in the same things, the things that were forbidden to me in my teens. I became in many people’s eyes, an evil woman. And like a teenager, I didn’t care. I held the sheep who didn’t get or approve of my new lifestyle in a fair degree of contempt. I never turned off my intellect. I ate up books about Satanism and discussed and absorbed it’s philosophy at length. But my lifestyle was my badge of honour; an outward sign that I had changed and didn’t care about the conventional morals of the world anymore.

It was like a teenage act of rebellion. Perhaps it was something I needed to get out of my system. I rebelled a bit in my teens and early twenties, but possibly not as much as others. No matter what I did back then, no matter how much I rubbed against the grain of my upbringing, I always kind of wanted to fit in. In the end, despite being regarded as a bit of a bohemian, perhaps a hippie; I held down a very responsible job and became a more respected member of my own little community than I ever intended to be. Thus, in a way the flush of hormones in my 40s seemed to have a similar effect to those that went through my body in my adolescence. I felt free to rebel and redefine myself. Perhaps it wasn’t always pretty and certainly one or two people lost respect for me, but I don’t regret any of it.

Perhaps the person most at risk during this period of my life has been my daughter. Rather than trying to restrain her in any way, I suppose I actively encouraged her to follow her instincts and her own judgement. If I was an example of anything, I was an example of Satanic living. I write a blog about it for goodness sake; it’s hardly surprising! So I actively encouraged my daughter to experiment and explore. I was delighted that she chose Satanism herself and went about gaining experience at the expense of innocence. The result is that she is not as pure and chaste or as sweet and innocent as some mothers presumably prefer to keep their babies, but she is intelligent and independent and kind in practical ways. I think she is  a positive inspiration to others. I am proud of her.

But what if things hadn’t gone this way? What if, as a result of my wicked example, my daughter had gone wild, had serious problems with drugs, had got pregnant, exposed herself to dangerous situations and disease? Could I sit back and smugly laugh off my second teenage-hood then? Well, no I couldn’t. But my argument is simply that, in truth, my example is less likely to result in the potential problems I described than somebody who is the opposite of me.

The flush of hormones during adolescence prepares people for adult life. In your twenties and thirties and sometimes well beyond that, you live with the mind and body that was built during your teens. I am finding it helpful to look at the menopause change of life in a similar way; not as an ending but as the start of a new phase. Perhaps because of our family’s connection to paganism and witchcraft, I very much associate the new phase with that of The Crone.

I don’t want to brush aside the problems that menopause can bring. Some women suffer much more than I have. All of us have to cope with physical and psychological changes to some degree. It can be unpleasant. It can be frightening. I am not immune; I have bad days. The ageing process can be much unkinder to us women than to our male counterparts. Our ability to conceive and then to nurture life within our bodies is often fundamental to our sense of self, and when that ability is gone we have to reassess who and what we are. Sometimes our physical features change in ways that seem the complete reverse of all we have aspired to be during our young adult phase. Our appearance ‘might’ stop being all that we once thought was good, pretty, sexy and powerful. There can be big adjustments to be made to our way of thinking and to our sense of who and what we are. But they don’t all have to be scary or negative…

I intend to live a long and interesting life, so in my early 40s I still consider myself to be fairly young no matter what changes my body is going through. That is an important starting place. There is a temptation to think of the menopause as the start of old age. That is rubbish! It could be that more than half my life is still ahead of me. This is something people of my age should consider seriously. I have heard people say that 60 is the new 40 and that might be true. Indeed with healthy living and better health care around the world it is not too far fetched to believe that even 70 might be more equivalent to present and future generations as 40 was to people at the end of the twentieth century. In other words, we enter the Crone phase with the possibility of a long life still ahead of us. Indeed it might be the longest and most productive period of our lives.

From the point of view of the witch (Satanic, Pagan or most other varieties) The Crone is the most powerful aspect and stage of magical life. It is the time when all your knowledge and life experience can be brought to bare on whatever you are doing. It is a phase characterised by wisdom and power. It can be a stage of life that enables you to do and achieve more than ever before. Perhaps the witch has an advantage over those who have never practised the craft… We are more in tune with ourselves and our possibilities. It is easy to understand why many women might become lost and depressed because of all they might feel they are losing during the menopause; especially the perceived loss of youth. But the skilled witch can re-invoke that whenever she wishes. My recent teen-like excesses have confirmed to me the power I have. In the last few years I have, for example, been more sexy and sexual than ever before. I have explored territory that the maiden and mother versions of myself would have feared to enter. And those who have mattered to me along these journeys have found me to be as sexy and alluring as I was in my twenties and thirties. For those who don’t practice witchcraft; think of it as psychology… It is about self belief, it is about projecting a desired image of yourself to others. It begins with self belief and a strong will; assets that are there to be found in your 40s if you know where to look for them.

I don’t expect everybody reading this to share my philosophical or religious beliefs. I am a Satanist and Satanism is not the right path for everybody (although it might be better and more empowering for more people than realise it at present). However I hope that most women reading this might be able to take away something positive about the menopause; something we are all destined to experience if we live into middle age. There is no point in fearing it, and with the right mental attitude it can be a powerful and empowering phase of life.

It might be wise to think of our teens and younger adulthood as preparation for the most important part of our lives. (Or the maiden and mother phases leading to the wisdom and power of the crone phase). The average life expectancy for women in the western world is about 80 plus… We should not write off the second half of our lives during our 40s, rather we should be honing our powers for potentially the most influential and rewarding stage of our life journeys.

Living with Mum and Mum.

I might add some thoughts on my own about what we have learned and how we have grown while being together during lockdown in a longer post…

Femme Diabolique

I left home nearly two years ago to go to university. I have an apartment in Vienna and during the past year have also spent a lot of time sharing an apartment with my girlfriend in Berlin. I am used to my own space and living by my own rules. While I try to be a good student, I also like to have fun. There are a lot of things going on in my life that many women my age would be embarrassed to share with their parents. But then Coronavirus happened and for reasons that I have detailed previously in my blog, I find myself living in lockdown back in my old home in Zurich; together with my mother and her partner Cassie. So what is that like?

Living with Mum and Mum is a good title but to be honest it is more like living with older sisters…

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The Corruption Of Cassie Wren

As some of you may have heard, I have been working on a book for a while now. It has taken longer than planned and is still in the early stages. My idea is that it should be in part biography and in part my own views and explanation of the Satanic path I follow.

I have decided to publish draft extracts of some parts of it here. These extracts will be mainly biographical and will give some details of my life that I haven’t made public before. I’m a bit nervous! The finished book should be a bit more polished and will include other things. I’m doing this partly as an incentive to myself to keep going and partly to get some feedback as I go along.

I have created a new “page” here on the Devil’s Advocates main site on which to put the book extracts. I will add more chapters to it in the next few weeks and months.

You can find Chapter One  here.

I hope you enjoy it.

Woman, Witch, Satanist, Scientist, Libertine, Socialist, Feminist: Me

In many ways this is a kind of follow up to our recent post “Ladies of Lilith”. It’s partly about having the courage to be yourself but it’s also about having a voice and using it; under all the headings which Léonie suggests here.

Femme Diabolique

This particular blog has always been about me. I intended it to be a kind of diary of university life from the perspective of a person who happened to be a Satanist. It always included my thoughts about other things as well. Sometimes I feel it should be more about Satanism itself, with more explanations of our beliefs… But there are so many people writing those sort of things already, and many of them are more knowledgeable than me. So I keep coming back to myself. But if that is the case, why should anybody else bother to read it?

Being yourself is important. For some people it is a struggle. Some people are pretty much forbidden to express their true nature. They may be in conflict with their family. They might be in conflict with wider society. They will sometimes be in danger of losing their lives just for…

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Ladies Of Lilith (Inspirational Women)

We are desperate to write a post that is not related to the current problems in any way! So this post is a highlights version of some of the conversations we have had lately while sipping wine late at night in our kitchen. We are all in our own ways devotees of the Goddess Lilith but this is not going to be a deep, ontological, theological discussion of who or what Lilith is. Rather, this is a discussion of women who in different ways exemplify the qualities that attract us to Lilith. You don’t need to share our beliefs to admire the women we discuss here and this list is by no means exhaustive. As soon as we press “publish” we are bound to think of a dozen more women we admire just as much and whom we might want to write about at some future time. Most of the women we speak of here are known in the arts and media; most, but not all, are alive now. They are all very different but seem to us to exhibit some Lilith-Like attributes. If you know nothing of Lilith, don’t worry. We are simply talking about women who are strong, talented and powerful in different ways. Women who dare to step outside convention. Women who make their own rules. Women a bit like us. Women who in different ways inspire us.

One little caveat before we begin in case any of the people mentioned or those who admire them object to being praised by a trio of self styled Satanic women; we don’t mean to imply that any of the people mentioned share any of our spiritual beliefs.

(Cassie) The first woman I am going to talk about is Mary Shelley who is most famous as the author of Frankenstein.. She was an extremely unconventional woman for the times she lived in. She was the archetypal bohemian and an intellect to be reckoned with in an age when women were rarely valued for their brains.

Mary Shelley was the daughter of the radical philosopher William Godwin, who described her as ‘singularly bold, somewhat imperious, and active of mind’. Her mother, who died days after her birth, was the famous defender of women’s rights, Mary Wollstonecraft.

At the age of 16, Mary eloped to Italy with the poet Percy Bysshe Shelley, who praised ‘the irresistible wildness & sublimity of her feelings’. Each encouraged the other’s writing, and they married in 1816 after the suicide of Shelley’s wife. They had several children, of whom only one survived.

After Percy Shelley’s death in 1822, she returned to London and pursued a very successful writing career as a novelist, biographer and travel writer. I admire her for her passion and because she was so unconventional and ahead of her times in the way she lived and worked.

(Léonie) Well, since Cassie has mentioned Mary Shelley, I’d like to talk about somebody who has played her in a film; Elle Fanning. She is a young actress who has already achieved quite a lot in her career. She has won several awards and seems to be respected in her field despite her young age. She is probably most famous at the moment for playing Aurora in the Disney Maleficent films but really made a name for herself playing darker, off the wall characters in indie films. I like her for slightly different reasons that relate to my beliefs and outlook on life. She began as a child actress but has progressed to some very mature roles. When you see her interviewed she has a kind of child-like charm that people around her find very attractive. But she is not a child. She is intelligent and probably a lot wiser and more mature than others her age. She is a woman. She has relationships. She smokes and drinks and probably has other vices. But she still has that child alive inside her. I like that. I hope I am the same way. It seems that she has both light and dark within her and values both of them. In a way that is what my own philosophy is about. Elle Fanning to me symbolises the fact that having darker, adult tastes doesn’t have to corrupt people, it can actually be empowering and enlightening.

As I mentioned one Aurora already I might as well go on with my second choice; another creative young person, this time a singer and songwriter called Aurora Aksnes from Norway. I guess you would have to describe her as a modern day hippie. She has a haunting voice and my favourite song of hers is “The Seed” an electro-folk anthem about the environment. She has a style that is totally her own, a true original. In some ways I probably find her a bit too “nice” and “good” but she is a feminist and I love her relationship with her fans and with nature. I also love the fact that in the middle of an interview for mainstream TV when asked what she likes to do in her spare time she said “Well I do love to masturbate a lot!”

(Sophie) An actress I have always admired is Angelina Jolie. I admit I find her a beautiful woman to look at, and of course she shares our tattoo fetish to some degree. But what I most admire is her fierce independence, her work with the U.N. and the fact that she was not content to survive on her beauty alone but invested in her talents and really honed them. While she has done quite a few very commercial films she has also made some smaller, grittier films such as “Girl Interrupted” in which her acting talent really shines. She is committed to many humanitarian causes especially concerning children and women’s rights and has used her fame and her money to really help in those areas. I also see her as a role model for mothers around the world. In recent interviews I have been particularly impressed with her views on letting children go; of taking pride in the fact that they grow up and become adults in their own right.

(Léonie) The third person on my list is the scientist Marie Curie.

Marie Curie arrived in Paris to start her studies as a virtually penniless refugee from Poland. Just getting there was a dangerous adventure and continuing her studies in poverty must have been really hard, but she went on to become one of the most brilliant scientists of her time. There were many points during her studies and in her career where her work was not valued or even recognised because she was a woman. Eventually she won two Nobel prizes but they nearly refused to let her accept one of them because she had had an affair. (Would that have been at all controversial if she had been a man)? She also suffered prejudice in France for being a foreigner and because she was thought by some to be Jewish.

Despite all this, during the First World War she set up mobile radiology units, trained people (especially women) how to use them and went herself to the front lines in the battlefields to help injured soldiers. Apart from the dangers of being in the battlefields this work eventually played a part in killing her because she later died of leukaemia as a result of her exposure to radiation.

These days Marie Curie is respected as one of the great scientists of her time, but actually her life was very hard and she was often the victim of all kinds of prejudice despite her brilliance or the many things she did to help other people. A lot of people hold her up as a hero without even realising that.

(Cassie) The next person I want to hold up is the New Zeeland Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern. In a world that seems to have gone crazy, she seems to be one of the few active politicians who are worthy of genuine respect. She is a progressive social democrat who speaks out for women’s rights and backs same sex marriage and is generally supportive of LGBTQ+ issues. Her response to the Christchurch Mosque shootings was more tactful and respectful than the way most other politicians respond to such things and went a long way towards healing her nation while also bringing in stricter gun controls. Thanks to a strict lockdown and sensible policies her country seems to be recovering from the present crisis better than most. I wish there were more politicians like her. The good news is she is not alone. There are an increasing number of influential female leaders around the world, such as Finland’s Sanna Marin who seem to be tackling important issues more wisely and more successfully than those who have gone before them. I don’t want to sound like a preachy feminist, but there does seem to be a lesson to be learned here.

I would also like to include Kala Trobe on my list. She probably won’t be very well known to people who don’t have any interest in witchcraft or the occult, but her books have played a significant part in guiding the three of us as witches. I find her books on witchcraft very grounded and easy to adapt to any tradition, including our own. She is very knowledgeable on many occult and esoteric paths including Ancient Egyptian (which is one of my own interests) and I suppose for me she is an inspiration because she has in a sense made a career of living her life the way she wants to and writing about what she knows and what she does. My ambitions aren’t very different!

(Sophie) For somebody very different I’m going to talk about the Olympic gymnast Nadia Comaneci, who was a big influence on me as I was growing up. She was the first gymnast ever to get a perfect score of ten at the Olympics and she was only fourteen at the time she achieved that. I was only a child then but I had joined a junior gymnastics club so I was aware of her. As I got older and read more about her I was struck by something a lot of writers and commentators said about her and that was that she has an extraordinary ability to concentrate. While I never really progressed very far in gymnastics, I did later find that in my job and in my spiritual interests, the ability to concentrate was indeed a very important ability. It helped me a lot in meditation and in all aspects of the magic I now practice. Nadia had a difficult life after the Olympics that made her famous. There are rumours she was raped by Nicolae Ceausescu’s son during the communist era. Whatever the truth of that, she eventually had to defect and start her life again in the USA. The good news is that she seems to have made a happy and successful life for herself since then coaching other gymnasts. I’m sure she is a hard task mistress!

(Léonie) For my final nomination I have to mention Greta Thunberg. I get so angry about the amount of animosity that is sometimes directed towards her in the media and from powerful idiots like Donald Trump. Whether you agree with her or not, and I mostly do, she has succeeded in raising awareness of climate change like nobody before her. She has used her Asperger’s Syndrome as an asset to focus her mind and the minds and thoughts of others. She has travelled the world, without flying, and has spoken directly and without compromise to some of it’s most influential leaders. Perhaps most importantly she has inspired a whole generation of young people who will not just let the matter go. I think it could be argued that she is one of the most influential people in the world today and most of her achievements so far happened while she was only sixteen years old.

(Sophie) I am going to speak about another highly influential woman who achieved great things while she was still a teenager and that is Malala Yousafzai. I use her frequently as an example in my lessons at school. As a child she wrote a blog detailing her efforts to get educated during the Taliban occupation of her region of Pakistan. As a consequence of that her school-bus was attacked and she was shot in the head and seriously injured. She could easily have been killed or permanently brain damaged. In fact after months in hospital in Pakistan and the UK she began to recover. Rather than be frightened away from studying, she continued and became an even more vocal critic of the Taliban and a campaigner for girls education throughout the world. In 2014 she won the Nobel Peace Prize for her efforts. She continues her campaigning today with a focus on refugees as well as education. She would possibly disagree with a lot of my personal beliefs, but I would love to meet and speak with her. I think she is an amazing young woman.

The last person on my list my favourite artist, Frida Kahlo. A large reason that I like her is simply her art itself which is strange mixture of surrealism, naivety and folk art which represent the struggles she and her country were going through. She had an extremely difficult and quite sad life due to health problems caused by illness and a serious accident which left her in pain most of the time. Yet she kept going… Like most of the people we have mentioned her life was quite unconventional. She married another artist much older than she was and physically as different as could be (large and overweight while she was extremely thin and fragile). Both of them are believed to have had numerous affairs which eventually lead to a fairly amicable divorce. Despite her physical and health problems she enjoyed sex a lot and was openly bisexual. She died relatively young as a result of her health problems and didn’t really achieve recognition for her art until long after her death. Yet without knowing it she left a body of artistic work that still inspires and moves people today.

(Cassie) I am going to finish our list with somebody we all thought about, and that is Emma Watson. I went through my teens and twenties reading the Harry Potter books and then watching the films at the cinema. Emma was perfectly cast as Hermione, an intelligent female witch who inspired a generation of real witches. But what has been most satisfying has been to see Emma herself go on from the Harry Potter franchise to develop into a positive role model for women everywhere. She never seemed to get sucked into social or tabloid media controversies. She learned to carry herself with sophistication and dignity. She has become known for her association with #Me Too and other campaigns to improve women’s lives and she has used the platform her fame gives her well. Yes, Harry Potter has made her richer and more influential than most of us could ever hope to be but with wealth and power comes responsibility, and she has taken that responsibility seriously.

Perhaps in the women we have highlighted here certain linking themes become apparent. We value intelligence and creativity. We value those who dare to be different and go against the grain when necessary. We value those who are responsible for themselves and caring towards others. We value all aspects of the female psyche and all stages of a woman’s life. We value those who find their power and use their talents wisely. We value and praise the Lilith archetype in all women.


A Perfect World?

If, a year ago, If I had written a science fiction story about a virus that killed hundreds of thousands of people around the world, stopped the economy in it’s tracks, stopped virtually all trade and travel, closed the boarders of virtually every country and kept almost the entire population of the planet confined to their homes and obsessing about basic hygiene; nobody would have taken it seriously as a premise. As ever, fact is stranger than fiction, and here we all are…

So one of the things Sophie, Leonie and myself have been discussing is how the world might be if and when we recover from the situation we are presently in. We have tried to base our thoughts on what we are learning from the Corona Crisis and our hopes and priorities as Satanists. So what follows is our personal and fairly optimistic view of what a more perfect world could be like. In this time of trouble we feel it is important to find optimism where we can. Of course, what follows is a flight of fancy but, as these times have taught us, stranger things can and do happen.

The first big change is that people take the idea of personal responsibility more seriously. This heightened sense should encompass everything from washing your hands frequently to considering how your life choices affect the environment for everyone else. Personal and social irresponsibility should be regarded as a crime internationally and those found guilty of such a crime should be fined and lose voting rights.

Our future world would be one in which international organisations of all kinds should be given more status and more power. This would include everything from The Red Cross and the World Wildlife Fund to a revamped United Nations and World Health Organisation. We will recognise that we are indeed an interlinked world where what happens in one country will always have some form of impact somewhere else. It will be a world that learns from the most successful countries of Europe which have thrived on a capitalist system heavily mediated and controlled by Social Democratic policies and laws. It will be a world where cooperation is highly valued and efforts are made to avoid conflict in all but the most extreme situations. It will be a place where power is held by geographical political blocs of equal weight. Individual countries will be respected for their individual culture and history but should be expected to cooperate with their neighbours in all matters of global policy. (Each individual country will be free to use its own political system but the success of Germany, Central Europe and Scandinavia during the late 20th and early 21st century should be promoted as examples of success and fairness).

It will be a world in which knowledge and learning are valued above almost everything else. All nations will be obliged to provide all citizens with the best school and education system possible following the examples of those nations with the best results. Any country failing to do so will be shunned and held financially accountable by the rest of the world until their system is shown to improve sufficiently. There will be an international minimum wage which all citizens throughout the world will be paid regardless of what work they do. This should be enough to pay for food and comfortable accommodation in times of sickness, unemployment and retirement and will provide every person on the planet with a liveable wage at all times. The only pay anybody receives on top of the minimum wage will depend on educational qualifications and demonstrated expertise and experience in particular fields. There will also be a maximum wage above which nobody can be paid. (The only exception to this will be companies, organisations or individuals who develop cures, health treatments or life enhancements which benefit society who WILL be entitled to extra financial rewards). No financial wealth of any kind will be able to be inherited.  Only property of an established average value can be passed on from one generation to another. In other words, you could inherit your parents house or apartment, but you could not inherit their castle which would be considered property of the state after their death. Non monetary perks such as travel vouchers, holidays and entertainment vouchers will be used as incentives and rewards. Educational qualifications of all levels will be rewarded with such perks.

All those people and professions who have been shown during the Coronavirus crisis to be truly essential to the life and prosperity of the community will be entitled to regular extra perks. The families of doctors, nurses and health care workers of all types who died during the Coronacrisis, will receive a legacy of regular extra perks for the rest of their lives.

People generally will work less days and hours and will be encouraged to use their extra free time creatively or on projects benefiting the community or on study towards further qualifications. Again, the emphasis in all things will be on knowledge and education leading to research and scientific progress in all directions.

Connections between any form of religion and states will be banned. People will still be free to follow any religion or belief system they choose in private; however, any teaching that goes against the laws and values of the country must be permanently deleted from all published texts and anyone preaching such things should be arrested and detained in isolation. Religious schools of all types should be banned. Religious Education should become a small sub-set of Cultural and Philosophical Education. In schools Religions will be presented as pre-scientific ways of understanding and controlling the world.

(To our fellow Theistic Satanists and Theists of all kinds, we leave open the possibility of maintaining private beliefs, worship, meditation and study; alone or with like minded people. You simply would not be able to preach or impose your beliefs on others in any way. For many of us, that is how things already are.).

The days of the Coronavirus have taught us that the majority of business, commerce and meetings of all kinds can be done remotely on line. In our future world,  air travel will be heavily reduced and restricted. There will be huge investment in public transport using clean and renewable energy. Trains and electric ships will be the main forms of international travel. The only forms of private transport available will be cars that run on clean energy and these will be very heavily restricted according to need. For most people public transport will be the norm and, as with education, all countries and states will be obliged to follow the example set by the most efficient public transport systems around the world. Beyond learning and education the most important international imperative will be to safeguard the environment for future generations, maximising food productivity and conservation of species and minimising the need for widespread, destabilising, migration caused by environmental damage.

Our future world will be one in which all types of prejudice are frowned on and forbidden by law when necessary. Race, ethnicity, cultural background, all expressions of gender and sexuality will be seen as positive and interesting aspects of a person’s individuality. There will be no standard norm of family life with children being raised in households that may be mixed sex or same sex including any number of care giving, parental figures. The only morals and laws attached to sex and the structure of romantic, sexual and family life will be based around the concepts of child protection and consent. The notion of consent in particular will be far more amplified than it is today and will be given prominence in social education. There will be no excuse for people not understanding boundaries in matters of sex and the punishment for rape will be far more severe than it it today and will be applied universally around the world. The universal age of consent will be 15 but nobody above 20 will be allowed to have sex with anyone between the ages of 15 to 17.

All drugs, prostitution and pornography will be legalised but strictly controlled. Social education will be aimed at empowering people to make sensible choices about the vices they choose to partake of. Again, Personal Responsibility will be a key concept and those who are unable to control their vices or addictions will be offered help to overcome their dependency but will suffer financial, social and health consequences if they are unable or unwilling to take the advice and help offered to them. Sex workers will be obliged to follow a strictly controlled and checked health and personal protection regime but will be valued in status as highly as all other professions. The aim of these measures will be to eliminate the criminal element from all aspects of vice and pleasure seeking. Responsible hedonism will be seen as a natural and important aspect of life.

The world will be committed to a new age of scientific exploration and discovery. We will renew our efforts to combat diseases of all sorts, to improve the quality of life for all and to extend life. There will be great progress in medicine, nano technology and the integration of human and artificial intelligence and technology. But there will also be an ongoing effort to conserve and protect the most important aspects of our environment and biodiversity. There will be a concerted international effort to explore our solar system and beyond and to establish bases and settlements on the planets and moons of the system. We will hunt for, find and protect life beyond our own world.

So this would be our perfect world… Of course even looking back through what I have just written I can spot many loopholes and difficulties. We have visualised an ideal world according to our values. We don’t pretend to have given any serious consideration to how all these things could be achieved and we recognise that our perfect world may not fit with other people’s idea of what is perfection or even desirable…

But the world we knew only months ago is gone. New priorities and values have suddenly emerged. We lived in a dream that we could go on the same way forever. We have woken up to some hard realities. The future will be built on better dreams.

Lockdown Reflections

Like everyone else, our lives are changing because of Coronavirus. The three of us are now in virtual house arrest in Zurich. We venture out to the shops about once a week, sporting the new face mask chic. We go for occasional walks in the woods or by the lake taking care to avoid contact with anybody else. But most of the time we are at home; three Satanic ladies cooped up together. In our family we have always been quite good at giving each other space to do our own things so perhaps living in such close proximity is not as much a struggle for us as it has been for some. Of course tensions are higher than normal. We get on each other’s nerves from time to time. There are some arguments. But overall, I think we are doing quite well. There has been far more time than normal to reflect and think about things and to put those thoughts into some kind of order. It is a valuable mental exercise. In this post I want to talk about how the current situation has made me feel about Satanism and then consider the way the lockdown is both a challenge and an opportunity to the individual members of my precious Satanic family. I hope other readers might find something of interest or even something useful in my musings.

In several places online during the last week I have seen some extreme Christians claiming we are in the “End Days” and “The Rapture” is coming. For those who don’t know, that means they think the world (at least the human part of it) is ending and Jesus/God will return to take the good Christians to heaven and condemn everybody else to hell. To be honest I can see why people of that religion might think that; we are certainly living through some extremely strange and frightening times. I don’t think they are correct of course, but what if they are? I had a little mind game in which I imagined that against all odds and logic (from my point of view) the most extreme fundamentalist Christians were right and their God returned to end the world and judge us all… I imagined a blasphemous conversation I might have…

God; Sophie you are a wicked woman in every way, do you have anything to say for yourself before I smite you?

Sophie; Not really, except I am surprised to see you. I didn’t really believe you were real.

God; Ah well, you should have had more faith, but still if you want me to take your disbelief into consideration to mitigate your sins…?

Sophie; No, no. If I had known and believed you to be real, I would still have been on Satan’s side. Even more so actually.

God; You evil woman!

Sophie; You have said that before… Have you ever tried an anger management class? You admit to being a jealous God after all…

God; How dare you speak back to me?!

Sophie; Because I can. Because I don’t think you are wise or good. You rule by fear which you dress up as love. And you yourself are ruled by fear. You are afraid that we might one day equal you. Perhaps we already do in many ways. All you want is a loyal army of subservient sheep who will do what you say without question. And if there is nothing else for them to do, you would be content for them to waste their existence giving praise to you.

God; You are wicked and immoral!

Sophie; Only by your reckoning, which means nothing to me. I am kind to those who deserve kindness and I have my own morals.

God; You are promiscuous and sexually deviant!

Sophie; I live my own way and make my own choices. I reject the rules and limitations of your church. So do most people actually, in case you hadn’t noticed.

God; And you have encouraged your own daughter to adopt your own wicked ways!

Sophie; No I have encouraged my daughter to reject your tyranny and live her own life.

God; Enough! To hell with you!

Sophie. Okay. I am happy to live with Satan. Unlike you, he doesn’t threaten to kill and torture everybody who does’t agree with or worship him.


And I mean all of that. The virus crisis has given us all much to worry about but I don’t regret or worry about the spiritual, philosophical or religious choices I have made. The fact that the Christian God would be prepared to kill and torture me for my beliefs only makes me more determined to stand proudly on the side of Satan.


I take a lot from Buddhism and other spiritual paths I have explored along the way. Cassie takes much from Taoism and Paganism. Leonie has developed a very Pagan element to her beliefs and I think has even learned some esoteric Muslim wisdom from some of her friends. None of us are either typical or archetypal Satanists; but even in this crisis in which we have had more soul searching time than normal, Satan is the cornerstone of our beliefs and our way of living. I am proud to be the nominal matriarch in this Satanic family.


So, how are we coping in this Covid19 crisis?

It has been easiest for me in many ways. I had already scaled back most of my school work to focus on creative and artistic projects. So in a way, the extra time at home is something I was prepared for. It just means I don’t have any excuse for not doing all the things I have planned to do! Having Cassie and my daughter at home with me is an extra bonus for me.

Cassie has had to make the hardest adjustment. She is normally an extremely busy woman and travel all over Europe and beyond is a weekly or even daily reality for her. All of that has stopped. Her entire job is on hold for as long as the lockdowns across Europe continue. She has already spent more time at home in the last 18 days than in the whole of last year. It is a big change. She is spending her time on writing projects and trying to set up online teaching and coaching… But for somebody who is used to frequent travel and supervising other people in stress filled work everyday, it is a big change. I know she is a little stir crazy from time to time but I hope our quality time together makes up for that a bit. For the last few years we have looked outwards and explored previously forbidden fruits in our social and sexual lives; now the focus is on satisfying the needs of each other.

Léonie has the advantage of having university work to do and focus on. While studying from home means she lacks any of the social life associated with being a student, it does at least give her a focus and structure to her days at home. But I know she gets lonely. Her girlfriend is stuck in Berlin. While Cassie and I have each other, Léonie only has a collection of toys and porn to distract her. She is writing more on her various blogs and websites and binge watching various things on TV. She is also the most active on social media and is looking into ways to help and support other people on line. As ever, I am very proud of her.

We are of course all a little bit scared. While we are all in good health we know that the virus can randomly take anybody. We are all quite heavy smokers which also increases our risk, but to face the oncoming weeks without our cigarettes or wine would only add to our stress. We cling to the belief that all of our various vices, if taken in moderation, will be more of a help than a hindrance to our wellbeing during the uncertain times ahead. We stay at home as much as possible and wear our masks when we have to go out.

While our human and Satanic imperative is to take care of ourselves first, we are also looking into ways of helping out in the community. Léonie and Cassie are organising a project to help deliver food to those who can’t leave their homes. I am organising some online support for vulnerable teenagers who cannot go to group meetings anymore to deal with their addictions and family problems. Léonie has just discovered that an animal rescue centre she used to work for locally may have to close down; so she is working on ways round that. We hope we are making a positive contribution to our community. We may need to depend on the help of others if we get ill.

The lockdown has given us all much more time than usual to think about things. We are trying to see that as an advantage and to make the best of it. When things improve and hopefully get back to something like what used to be normal, we hope we will be stronger and wiser and better equipped to deal with whatever comes next.

Our aim is to be part of the solution, not part of the problem.

Good luck everyone. Stay home. Stay safe. Be well. Learn and grow.

Hail Lilith! Hail Satan! Hail each other!


Satanism, Society and Coronavirus

I have seen posts by extreme Christian groups blaming Satanists and frankly anyone who isn’t a fundamentalist, conservative, born again Christian, for the Coronavirus outbreak. Some say we are entering the end-times and the rapture is at hand… That is to be expected; ridiculous but expected… What is more disappointing from my perspective is a few idiotic opinions being circulated on social media from people calling themselves Satanists who advocate ignoring the lockdowns and going about your daily routines without a care for the wider society. Their argument seems to be based on a moronic interpretation of the concept of individualism and placing the needs of the individual above the needs of anyone else. They are wrong, and that argument (whether expressed by Satanists or anyone else) is illogical, stupid and dangerous. As Satanists we are called to make our own decisions about all things and take responsibility for our own actions. Yes, we are antagonistic towards “group think” and the herd mentality. Yes, our own lifestyle choices might often go against the grain of wider society. We don’t accept dogma and we are inclined and encouraged to challenge social mores and norms. However we are also very much encouraged to use our brains, be guided by science and make wise and considered choices. We are hedonists but we must balance the things which give us pleasure against the things which keep us healthy. There is a long and sensible tradition of trying to keep ourselves healthy in most modern Satanic traditions.

I can to some extent understand why a few Satanists have been wrong footed by the present Coronavirus crisis. On the surface it brings some of the principles many of us share into conflict and puts them in the spotlight as well. The first of these things is the herd mentality which we generally abhor but which seems to be the driving force behind much of what is happening in these difficult times. There is certainly panic. Governments are making unprecedented changes to the way we live our lives and placing more controls on our behaviour than at any time in history. Information and misinformation about the virus itself and the effects it is having is spreading like wildfire. We are indeed being herded like sheep into certain ways of thinking and acting. We are right to be sceptical. We are right to challenge what we are being told and come to our own conclusions. However we also have to be open to the possibility that in the present situation, the lockdowns and other restrictions imposed on our societies might be the best available course of action for the time being.

I have done my own thinking and to be honest it doesn’t take a genius to work out that the less chance I have of being exposed to the virus, the less chance there is that I will get ill as a result of it. The less my daughter (who is now living in another city) is exposed to people who might be carrying the virus, the less chance there is that she will be infected and get ill. Moreover, in the event that anyone I love catches the virus and suffers badly enough to require hospital treatment, the more people who are ill the less chance there is of adequate health care being available. So, while it may go against my mindset in many ways, the logical conclusion is clear and simple; for the time being the mass lockdowns are by far the best way for us as individuals to reduce the risk of being infected by the virus and suffering any consequences that may involve. We should be supporting and enforcing them if we can. Our most basic instinct, survival, dictates that on this occasion the herd is our protection. We should not be standing outside of it, nor should we be mindless members of it. WE SHOULD BE LEADING IT!

What about our principles of individualism, self interest, and our somewhat distant relationship with wider society?

Individualism is a recognition of the fact that we are all different. We each have different abilities and talents, different tastes and desires, different ways of expressing ourselves. We celebrate our own individuality and respect the individuality of others unless they disrespect or endanger us. Wider society is everything outside (and sometimes including) our own immediate family. Wider society could be our friends or neighbours, our local community, our town or city, our region, our country and our world. We may often find ourselves at odds with society because our beliefs and lifestyles are different or sometimes opposed to most of theirs. However, we are part of that society. We exist. We are real. We need the food that others produce. We need the technology that others make. We need expertise that other members of society have. The idea that we are somehow separate from the rest of society is a fallacy.

And that leaves “Self Interest or Self Centredness; perhaps the least well understood principle we live by, even by ourselves.

The principle is deceptively simple. We acknowledge a fact denied by most Right Hand Path belief systems (and some LHP ones too possibly) that we are primarily motivated by what is best for us at the time. We are not ashamed of that as many religions and philosophies would want us to be. We are focused on the happiness, enrichment and betterment of the “self”. Of ourselves. We seek to empower ourselves. We are our own gods. We put ourselves first and never pretend that our principle concern is altruistic.

And that is where the idiots among us get off the bus and claim that Satanism has given them an excuse to be nastily and sometimes maliciously, selfish.

Being Self-Centred is not the same as being selfish. Selfishness is almost never a helpful quality, even to the persons being it.

Remember the part about being part of society..? Only assholes take without ever contributing. I drive a car. I rely on people more expert than me to keep it running because my main talent and job is teaching, not mechanics. If I had to spend more time fixing my car I would have less time to teach and earn the money which pays the bills. I would have less time to do the things I enjoy. We are part of society and in order to maximise our opportunities for pleasure and growth we have to recognise our interdependence and ensure that society functions in our interest. Logic dictates that will often mean compromises which allow for other “selves” to get what they want and need as well.

The short version;- If I get sick I absolutely need the mechanics of society to provide the medical treatment I need in order to survive and thrive. And since I am not an asshole, and since there is nothing whatsoever in my belief system which precludes being kind and helpful, I feel I should do what I can to help others and keep the machinery of society well oiled and functioning as best it can in my own interests and the interests of most others.

We have evolved a fairly democratic way of living as societies which is full of faults and should be improved but which generally serves the needs of most individuals. It would be delusional not to acknowledge our need for it to function well. As free thinkers we should of course be the ones testing and sometimes changing the boundaries of that society. But we should also protect it when it is clearly in our interest to do so.

We should be leading the herd.


During the present corona crisis…

Stay at home as much as you can.

Mix with others as little as possible in person (as much as you like online).

Wash your hands with soap and water or alcohol based gel frequently.

Shop for food and essential items as rarely and sensibly as you can.

When shopping, keep your distance from others. Use contactless payment methods whenever possible.

If you have a cough or a temperature, self isolate and call or search online for help.

Respect the lockdowns and the curfews.

Don’t hinder or get in the way of those whom you may later need to depend on.

Be safe and well; learn and grow.

Be a deserving and leading member of the “After Corona” Society.

We are going to hell.

For various reasons that some of my friends will know, I recently had a few conversations about why I don’t do Facebook anymore. In short, I keep my life fairly private and don’t want anybody or everyone to know my deepest thoughts and beliefs. On the other hand I do want to be honest and open where I can be… Facebook isn’t the place for that. I don’t want all my students, their parents or my employers to be able to easily find out the intricate details of my love, family or spiritual life. It’s not that I’m ashamed but I realise I walk an unusual path and people could be very judgemental and cause me problems. As a Satanist, it is wise to be circumspect and maintain a large degree of privacy.

On the other hand, I really am not ashamed of who I am, what I believe or how I live. I do have a desire to share some of that with a fairly small, self selecting audience here on my blog. I have always felt I have a mission to inform people about Satanism in a more positive way than they are likely to see in news headlines. But I also don’t want to pull any punches. (Well, perhaps at first I did…). Satanism does have dark and controversial aspects to it. I have described in several posts recently that my evolution as a Satanist has not necessarily made me a nicer person but it has made me stronger and more whole. Satanists don’t sacrifice babies or do any of the atrocious things we are often accused of, but neither do we claim to be all sweetness and light, or wholesome souls that wouldn’t hurt a fly…

I have become what many would describe as a wicked woman. Most aspects of my life are an affront to Christian and traditional values. I attend and organise Satanic rituals such as the Black Mass. I worship The Devil and work with demons. I cavort naked while invoking the diabolical Hosts of Hell. I perform incantations and spells. I sometimes use curses. I blaspheme with words and actions.  I use modern and ancient magic and the art of manipulation to get what I want. I use all these powers to get ahead in my career, to beat my rivals, punish my enemies and protect those I care for. I surround myself with comfort and pursue everything that brings me pleasure. I enjoy the finest foods. I drink, I smoke, I use other drugs to heighten my pleasures. I have sex with whoever I want whenever I want. Moreover I have played a part in leading my partner and my adopted daughter in the same direction. During a recent party with Satanic friends I witnessed for myself how fully my daughter has immersed herself into the same lifestyle as me. It gave me great pleasure. I am certainly going to hell.  All my family are. What I mean by that I will come to later.

But first let me re-write that last paragraph in a slightly different way…

I have become what many would describe as a wicked woman. I don’t adhere to many traditional values. I have chosen self empowerment. I organise and participate in rituals designed to promote self confidence and a sense of self-empowerment. I am not ashamed of my body or my sexuality. I see Satan and the power he symbolises as being the antithesis of religious authorities, usually patriarchal, that have controlled and subdued humanity for too much of our history. I seek the knowledge and powers the religious authorities on Earth have often feared. I use natural remedies, ancient wisdom and modern psychology to help get what I want and need and care for and protect those I love. I can also use that knowledge to hinder those who get in my way. I am not a puritan, I enjoy comfort and pleasure. I have some vices which I have decided to enjoy without shame until I decide to give them up because I believe that will improve  my mental and emotional health. I have decided not to be limited by old fashioned conventions and enjoy the pleasures of being an active bisexual woman and also take pride in accepting personal responsibility for my actions. I am delighted that my partner and my daughter (the people I love the most) also have a lust for life and sense of self empowerment and responsibility and have chosen a lifestyle similar to my own insofar as it will allow them to become all they can be and enjoy life to the fullest. Yes, we are going to hell.

The enemies of the lifestyle I have chosen describe hell as a physical place, filled with endless pain and torment. Some of the more intellectual ones on that side describe hell as an anguished state of mind, separated from God. Hell, they say, is a terrible thing to be feared; a punishment for those who don’t obey God  or the rules attributed to him.

So if they are wrong, if they have been fooled, if they have become unwitting agents of authoritarian control; perhaps we can turn their assumptions about hell upside down. I believe hell can be a place or state of mind full of pleasure and contentment… A peaceful state of mind in which you are deeply connected to all you love. A beautiful thing to aspire to, for those with the courage and confidence to be themselves and live by their own rules.

In reality I personally am agnostic about what happens after death. If there is some form of continuation, I think it will involve continued learning and growth leading to another, more powerful and knowledgeable state of being. I do believe in such a scenario we will remain closely connected to the souls, the powers and the energies we love in this life. In that sense, I count the denizens of hell as my spiritual brothers and sisters. But the path to Hell my family and I have chosen is really about choosing independence, self empowerment, pleasure and contentment in “this” life. The life many religions urge us to ignore.

And if we ignore this life… If we minimise the importance of what occurs to ourselves and our world during our time of existence. If we postpone all pleasure, all gratification and all personal responsibility until some future “other” life… what then?

Then we don’t take care of our world or ourselves. We don’t learn. We don’t grow. We can ignore the suffering of others in the hope that some other authority will make things right in some future rapture.

Yes, I take delight in the fact that my daughter is learning the fullness of her power and is indulging in all the things that can bring her pleasure; and that she has turned her back on the conventions and authorities that would like to control how she lives. But I take even greater delight in the sense of personal responsibility she embraces together with her empowerment. She does not ignore the poor or the hungry. She does not ignore the suffering and inequalities that beset our communities, rather she gets her hands dirty working directly with some of those who suffer most. She devotes the largest part of her physical and mental energies to helping the other creatures that live on our planet and preserving the environment they can thrive in.

I will be proud to go to hell with her.