And so say all of us!
This is a short message of love to all those who are single or who are in unconventional relationships.
Love and take care of yourself.
Honour your own truths and feelings.
Don’t be restricted by other people’s beliefs or expectations.
If you have a partner, love them as they love to be loved.
If you have more than one partner, share your love and respect as fully and equally as you can.
If you have no partner love yourself fully and let your love shine on whoever you choose.
An open and honest blog about sex for those who have less conventional lifestyles is an idea that Sophie and I have toyed with occasionally. And now Léonie and her friend Louise have gone ahead and done it! Perhaps it always needed a younger more modern edge than us middle aged folk could manage. We wish them every success with it. ❤️
People Like Us, as the title implies is a blog for people like us whose sex and romantic lives don’t conform to conventions.
For too long sex has been treated as a forbidden, taboo subject. These days there are some bloggers, vloggers, writers, influencers and presenters who are starting to talk about sex in an everyday way, but there are not enough. We are going to add to the number and hope to encourage more to join. We DON’T start from the assumption that deep down everybody wants to be in committed two person partnership that leads to children and family life. We want to celebrate the range and diversity of sexuality and sexual relationships that people like us can enjoy.
Why do we say a cookery blog of sex? Well, sex is a bodily function just like eating. At a base level we need both to exist. We need…
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This is our version of a cheerful, uplifting post to get the year started.
We had a debate about the photo to accompany this post. We all like erotic imagery (porn) but are nervous about offending the WordPress folk. We are aware that the mere sight of a nipple can send some folk into a state of apoplexy but hopefully those people won’t be reading our blog anyway. In any case we settled on a suggestive picture with no nipples. Enjoy!
But you are not supposed to enjoy such things, are you? It’s a sin.
Our Saturnalia celebrations this year were a slimmed down version of our normal winter debauchery; just the three of us and a few local members of our group in order not to break any covid restrictions. And for good measure we are all in self imposed isolation now to make sure we don’t spread any randomly caught germs to others. The positive lesson we learned is that you can still be sinful and stay safe if you plan sensibly.
Saturnalia involves a lot of music and dancing, good food and strong drinks, sex and laughter; things which make us human and happy. Religions such as Christianity tend to forbid such behaviour which they regard as immoral, selfish and shameful among other things as well as being s transgression against their idea of god. Luckily our “religion” is different.
We were all feeling down towards the end of 2020. Coronavirus and the lockdown restrictions connected with it have taken their toll on us as much as anybody. The immediate future still looks bleak. In terms of the three of us, the pandemic has real and actual impacts on most aspects of our daily lives. Our jobs, our studies and all the things we tend to enjoy are at risk. In addition we all know people who are suffering from coronavirus itself; and sadly, we know a few people who have died from it. But we can’t go round in a fug of depression. We might as well enjoy our sinful natures as fully as we sensibly can; and in doing so we have arrived in 2021 in better and healthier moods.
I guess in one way or another most people reading this are sinners. According to Christianity everybody is a dreadful sinner helplessly but inevitably stumbling from one sin to another. Their doctrine of original sin holds that everybody is born bad and life is a long and hopeless struggle against their own sinful nature. Hopeless unless you accept Jesus as your saviour, ignore your basic instincts and allow The Church to regulate your life and tell you what is right and what is wrong. Thus everyone who is not a Christian is a sinner. We are particularly bad sinners because we follow the enemy of Christianity and actively enjoy our sinfulness. Most people are somewhere in-between on the sinful scale. Our suggestion is join our side and be happy sinners!
Leonie has started contributing to a sexual advice magazine (she is planning to say more about that in her own blog). She directed us to an article (in German) which made a few points that resonate with us. You don’t have to be a Satanist to enjoy your sinful nature. Perhaps the main point it was making is that the world has changed and that while some of the old architecture and formatting still exists, the reality of many people’s lives doesn’t really fit with it. This is particularly true in matters of sex and relationships…
For example, the vast majority of books, films and TV shows still assume that most people want to be in monogamous, heterosexual, long term relationships blessed by the church or the state and that anything outside of that is somehow wrong. While there might be a growing acceptance (in some places) of different forms of sexuality, sexual and gender identity; it is still assumed that such people will want to live their lives according to the old monogamous marriage structures borrowed from outdated religious tropes. But is that true? How many people do you know who end up living outside those norms? Probably more than you think.
Perhaps Christianity is correct in saying that a lot of people’s lives are dominated by what those Christians call sin. Our argument is that what they call sin is actually not a bad thing at all, it is part of what makes us human and it is a sign of progress that more people are seeing sin in a positive way.
Sin is NOT evil or bad. Enjoying your true sexuality does not mean you are a potential murderer. Being in a non standard relationship doesn’t mean you will cheat on your taxes. Enjoying good food and wine does not make you turn into a rapist or an arms dealer. Participating in aspects of BDSM does make you corrupt or open to bribes. Having fun, indulging your senses. does not make you mean or uncaring.
Certainly in these difficult times you owe it to yourself and those around you to take sensible precautions but you also owe it to yourself to have fun and enjoy your sinful nature when you can.
Our family are lucky enough to be together and we are able to celebrate Saturnalia with some local coven members without breaking covid restrictions. It will not be the same as other years. This holiday season will be different for most people and very difficult for some…
Saturnalia is a feast of hedonism and debauchery that grounds us in our beliefs and our rejection of many social conventions. Many winter feasts are times to remember who we are and what is important to us…
We wish all the best to our regular readers whatever their beliefs.
Realistically we know that 2021 will start off with all the same problems that have been a curse in 2020. But we hope things will get better.
Stay safe and be happy.
Love and Dark Blessings from the three of us.
Quite a few people seem interested in the relationship my mother and I have; a relationship that has evolved over time of course… They are interested in how being Satanists has impacted on our relationship and what difference it makes. I suppose they also want to know about the everyday things; what we agree and disagree on, what we fight about and what we think of each other generally… I am sure if you look back through older posts you will find my mother (Sophie) has written about some of these things before, but of course we are both older now and this is my version of things…
A couple of years ago when I was 18, after lots of discussion with Sophie I did a dedication ritual part of which involved committing to Lilith as my spiritual mother. I also joined a Satanic coven locally quite soon after. Both Sophie and I found that people were quite shocked about that so we don’t speak about it very much but I will briefly explain it here.
Of course Sophie is still my mum in all the important ways that she always will be. But all mother/daughter relationships change over time… As I jokingly remind Sophie from time to time (and she reminds me too) there will come a time when she is older and maybe getting a bit senile when our roles will be reversed and I will be the one making decisions on her behalf. For now, she and Cassie are of course the ones I turn to first for advice about a lot of things. But I made a decision as an adult Satanist that I would ask Lilith to be my primary guide and mother figure in spiritual matters. It means that in those areas of life she takes the lead and precedence. Since both my mother and Cassie are themselves devotees of Lilith, they understood and we all understand the boundaries. We don’t need to explain it further to other people really. It is an aspect of our beliefs, thats all. Psychologically it helped me to own my beliefs. The various rituals in which my dedication to Lilith was a significant aspect, became like coming of age and independence landmarks to me. I also had some tattoos to underline those moments.
A bonus of these events was that it meant that in matters related to Satanism, Sophie, Cassie and I treat each other more like sisters. We have a family bond but we also respect each other’s unique perspectives, experience, differences and independence. In simple terms we treat each other more like equals, and that feeling of sister and brotherhood also extends to other people in our Satanic covens and circles. So in the occasional ritual and magical workings we do jointly, and any discussion of those things, we refer to each other as Leonie, Sophie and Cassie. At other times I still refer to Sophie as Mum or Mother; depending on my mood.
Do my mother and I argue? Of course sometimes, but so far there has never been anything major. To be honest I don’t think we ever agrued as much as some mothers and daughters I know. That’s partly because I always liked school and studying so there was no cause for conflict there… I guess I was a boringly nice and well behaved child (I’m much naughtier as an adult). Most arguments growing up were about me not tidying my room and being generally messy, playing music too loud, bringing strange animals like tarantulas into the house; things like that! Later on there were a few times I came back from parties late and a bit drunk which caused a few harsh words… I don’t think she ever really minded me smoking except when I stole her cigarettes. We have really never argued about sex or relationships. We totally agree with each other on political things too. Drugs… Well we have had some differences of opinion but not really arguements.
My mother’s main concerns revolve around keeping me safe and well. I understand that. She doesn’t want me to get sick, to get hurt or to get pregnant before I want to. I will feel the same if I ever have children of my own. But we are both Satanists and that means respecting each other’s rights to live fully and make our own decisions. I think having that basis and those common beliefs has prevented us from having a lot of the common arguments between parents and children. By most people’s standards Cassie and Sophie have an unconventional relationship and lifestyle, but to me not only is it completely normal but I have also seen how it benefits them and makes them happy.
In matters of sex and relationships I have always been able to be very open with both Sophie and Cassie (and my father too). My mother always encouraged me to be safe and take sensible precautions but she also encouraged me to explore and learn what I like and what I don’t. She never wanted me to remain a virgin or content myself with conventional, vanilla sex and relationships. She wanted me to grow up. As Satanists we are as comfortable with our dark side as we are with the light.
Sophie was a teacher and councillor in a special school for people with difficulties and problems. I was always aware of the social and psychological problems many people go through. My mum had to deal with a lot of kids who had or developed drug problems. I am probably more aware than a lot of people about the dangers of drugs as a result of all that. But still I do sometimes use certain things… Some of those things my mum accepts but there are some things she would prefer I didn’t use so much. Mostly I take her advice eventually. Always we talk about things. We never judge each other.
With all these things, it works both ways now. I have done and experienced a few things that my mother hasn’t. We discuss things. Sometimes I encourage her to try something new or to experiment with different ways of doing things.
I do believe and see more clearly every day that having a common base in Satanism has benefited us a lot. Apart from having a lot of basic beliefs in common it has meant that we can talk to each other about pretty much anything without coming to an actual argument. We don’t believe in sin or unnecessary guilt. Neither of us think it is wrong to seek pleasure or to engage in the darker side of things. Most of the things that can be deal breakers for some parents and children are non issues for us. We treat each other as friends.
Neither of us are perfect of course. We can both get moody. Sometimes we annoy each other. Sometimes we worry about each other.
I like my mum. She inspires me. I know she wants me to be happy. I think she is intelligent and wise. She is strong. I like being her friend. I like being her daughter. I am sorry if that sounds boring. Both of us are probably evil and immoral according to a lot of people; I’m glad we have that in common.
Every so often we discuss with each other what we should do with this blog and the others we occasionally write. It is fair to say we often consider stopping them altogether. This year in addition to the problems and frustrations caused by Covid, we have all voiced our annoyance at the changes in WordPress, making it more difficult to commit to writing this type of blog. Several of our friends have started video vlogging and we have considered that route as well. Perhaps we should move to YouTube or Patreon or some other such platform? While we don’t rule that out in the long term, we are not really keen on it… We don’t really want to be any more public than we already are. The written format gives us much more discretion about how much we share and how we express ourselves. Words, sentences and paragraphs written down require a degree of thought, structure and editing which going “live” does not allow. In a way we are old fashioned in that, but for now we don’t want to change the way we connect to the outside world. None of us are virgins in using other kinds of media outlets but we prefer to keep those for our own personal projects mostly under different names.
But in terms of this blog, Devil’s Advocates, we have wondered if there is still any point in it? It has recorded our lives as women and as Satanists for about ten years now. Most of what we write is in one way or another repeating something we have said before. And yet…
We have changed. This blog began as my blog when I was taking baby steps in Satanism. It then became a joint project with Sophie as we formed our own coven and became ever more deeply enriched in Satanic life. At that stage Léonie was little more than a girl but now she is a woman in her own right with her own unique experience and opinions about Satanic beliefs and lifestyles. We have all grown and continue to develop in different ways. Maybe we do still have perspectives to offer which others might find interesting or useful. We have also found that our opinions and understandings are often deepened by converting what we discuss with each other informally into written text. And all blogs are essentially first and foremost for the benefit of those who write them. So this is the style in which we will continue.
I suspect our posts here will be come a bit less frequent. But now we are three women who have our own insights and perspectives. We stopped trying to appease those who want us to be lighter or darker some time ago. We are not trying to please anybody except ourselves. We are women. We are Satanists. We will share those aspects of our lifestyles that we find interesting and discuss those matters which further our own growth. Anyone looking in is welcome to experience parts of our continuing journey. It is not a path for everyone. Nobody is obliged to read a word more than they want.
The way ahead for us is to continue living our lives in ways which reflect our own Satanic beliefs, practices and philosophy as fully as possible.
I don’t want to make this a long post, but I hope it is one that somebody takes notice of.
A few months ago I got a generically created message from WordPress congratulating me for blogging on this site for ten years. I have to admit I have enjoyed my “blogging”. It has given me an outlet to test my writing skills and share some of my thoughts and beliefs with a wider audience. As such it has helped me to develop as a person too; putting your opinions into writing in a way that other people can understand helps to refine what you think. By engaging with the audience I have built up over the years I have also gained friends and insight into many other lives and lifestyles. It has increased my knowledge base. I have learned interesting new things.
I started blogging because it was a bit of a trend. I had participated in online message boards throughout my teens and into my twenties… Blogging seemed like a logical next step in which I could express myself more fully, share things in more detail and get to know other bloggers in a deeper way than message boards generally allowed. Moreover, I didn’t have to be following forum rules, I could just be me. I think many bloggers started around the same time for similar reasons. A lot of our blogs were personal journals made for a public audience. It was a new form of self expression for the online twenty-first century. Many of us were probably very amateurish, but it didn’t matter. It was fun.
I guess I was grateful to organisations like WordPress who were providing this platform for us. I was never naive though; I always understood that WordPress were making money out of the content we bloggers were creating and sharing. But that was fine. It’s always been fine until recently… This year I have gotten the feeling that WordPress wish that people like me would just go away. What I haven’t worked out is exactly who they are trying to appeal to or what direction they see blogging going in the future. My fear is that blogging as many of us have understood it might soon be dead and WordPress will become nothing more than an advertising platform of some sort. They seem to be entirely gearing the site for individuals or companies that don’t get out of bed unless somebody pays them to. Those of us writing for the pleasure of writing itself, for the exchange of ideas; those making art for art’s sake are getting left behind.
WordPress have instituted a new interface this year. Absolutely every person I know who writes a blog at WordPress hates it and have said so repeatedly. The powers who own the platform have resolutely put their fingers in their ears while telling us to fuck off and accept the changes.
I am pretty good at accepting and dealing with change; better than most I might say… But these changes are so stupid.
The new writing interface is so mind-bogglingly and unnecessarily complicated that it makes the sacred pleasure of writing into a torture. Just adding a picture to the text takes tortuous minutes instead of seconds as it did before. (If it works at all)! Simple things like formatting become a convoluted intelligence test. It’s just horrible.
I have stopped writing as much as I used to here. It’s just too complicated and not fun. Moreover my family who are all bloggers and many of my blogging friends are posting much less often, if at all.
But we still exist and we still want to blog. If WordPress doesn’t sort itself out perhaps eventually somebody else will plug the whole in the market and make us welcome there…
I lived in Vienna for many years and still have a family of friends there. I am glad to say they are all safe and so is Léonie. But it was a terrible incident which breaks my heart. Léonie captures the moment and the best way to react.
I know when Léonie started writing this she didn’t intend for it to be a particularly Satanism themed post. Yet it ends up being a testament to how satanic philosophy can help combat problems associated with personal body image and ideas about beauty.
While in some ways we don’t want to give them any additional publicity we felt we should say something about the loosely defined QAnon conspiracy theory group who seem to have the tacit support of President Trump.
In some ways the fact that idiotic groups like this have a degree of support is even more dangerous than the Coronavirus which plagues our world at present.
According to Wikipedia; “Q anon is a far-right conspiracy theory. It alleges that a cabal of Satan-worshiping pedophiles is running a global child sex-trafficking ring and plotting against President Donald Trump, who is battling against the cabal. The theory also commonly asserts that Trump is planning a day of reckoning known as “The Storm”, when thousands of members of the cabal will be arrested.”
Donald Trump has repeatedly refused to distance himself from this group who frequently accuse celebrities and anyone they deem as being liberal of being part of the paedofile cabal.
Is this what we have come to in 2020? Is this the level of debate that defines and decides who the next president of America should be?
For the record (as stated numerous times in this blog) Satanists have no truck with paedophilia or any form of abuse of children or animals. Quite a lot of Satanists are conservative thinkers and voters but we would hope that any such people would be doing everything they can to distance themselves from QAnon and Trump. Both entities are clearly insane!
As for us, the writers of this blog, we are unashamedly Liberal, we are equally unashamed Satanists, we are not American but we do hope sanity returns to America and the world soon. There really isn’t any more to say on the subject.
ETA…. WordPress, I hate block editor more everyday and the “classic block” option does not have the ease or functionality of the the real classic editor.