Internalised Satanism

A while has passed since our last post.

There was a time when we felt a need to share and explain aspects of our lives and beliefs. Perhaps there still is sometimes. But Satanism, like any spiritual or philosophical path is a journey. The scenery and the settings change. Sometimes you need to look around and admire the scenery, other times you need to eat and drink and take care of your physical needs.Some parts of the journey are tough and stressful while other parts are relaxing. You meet people along the way, some may join you in your journey, while others will go their own way while leaving an impression on you. Those who enjoy the adventure of travel will keep going, accepting challenges and strange new things as part of the process. Others will get sidetracked or give up along the way.

We are three different women, of different ages and while we have much in common, we have different needs and personalities. On Satanism however, we mostly agree and find ourselves at a similar stage in the journey. For the most part we have internalised Satanism. It has become a part of us and not something we need to talk about or question. We don’t need to be demonstrative about it. We might wear the black robes from time to time among our extended Satanic family. We might enjoy and learn from the drama of ritual in our covens, but mostly it is simply the thing that informs everything else we do and the decisions we make. We could live without anybody else knowing we are Satanists. But we know.

A common feature of our satanic cores is a feeling of empowerment. For me that was the key from the beginning. We know our own power and believe in ourselves. That confidence drives through everything else. During the Covid years there were times of isolation and forced separation. There have been times when our jobs, studies and livelihoods were at stake, but we kept going and used our skills and our ‘magic’ to win through. We knew we could and we knew we would.

Like most human beings we have our flaws but we live and cope with them.

The three of us have unconventional lifestyles. But we have learned that unconventional lifestyles are not really so uncommon. Sophie and I joined a research project which was looking at people involved in polyamorous relationships. We always knew we were not alone but that little exercise surprised us with how many different types of people are in unconventional relationships. Personally I have a feeling such things will become the norm. In our family they already are. Léonie is in a similar stage in her love and sex life, but twenty years ahead of us in terms of age. I sometimes wonder how different my life would have been if I had been a confirmed Satanist since my teens…

An odd thing which I probably shouldn’t share but I will; a few weeks ago Sophie and I unexpectedly bumped into Léonie and her girlfriend at a swinger party organised by somebody on the alternative/satanic scene that we all know separately. Anyway after a few embarrassing blushes we all enjoyed ourselves (in separate rooms). Why mention that? Well, it was kind of funny. But also it sort of underlines the way satanic values and lifestyle have been internalised by each of us. It leads to a mature kind of acceptance of other people’s lives, likes and kinks which I couldn’t imagine in many other contexts. I certainly couldn’t imagine such a thing happening in my family when I was in my twenties.

We frequently bump into people who don’t identify as Satanists and yet share our common values. I think I was like that for a while before I felt the need join a satanic group and go public about it. Some people will never need to do that. I have at times embraced the more ceremonial and pseudo religious aspects of Satanism. I have found it cathartic, but not everyone needs that. 
All three of us can go about most aspects of our lives without anyone around us knowing that we are Satanists. Sometimes that is for the best. In the past we felt more need to explain our beliefs and lifestyle. There was an element of mission about it. We wanted to set the record straight about what Satanism is and isn’t. But we have gone through those explanations and there seems no need to repeat it. Anything that might be useful to genuinely enquiring minds can still be found in this blog. There is a page about our Satanic beliefs which is still relevant for anyone interested. We haven’t significantly changed our minds about anything which is written there. And the story of how we each came to Satanism and developed in it can still be read in former posts here.

So what now..?

Our posts here have become very infrequent. In fact I think the last few posts have all had the feel that they might be the last… Written blogs are themselves less of a thing than they used to be…

But we are not deleting the blog. People might still be informed or entertained by things we have written previously. And if we have something new to say, or if we just need to get something off our chests we will post again.

Meanwhile our Satanism has been internalised. We have become what we write about and more. Individually, and as a family we move on and continue on the journey. We wish our fellow travelers well.


Dark Seasonal Greetings

By tradition of our own making, our family and our coven have gathered to celebrate Saturnalia.

We extend greetings to all those who know the beauty of darker ways and who follow a left hand path. May your celebrations be rich in pleasure and knowing. May the year to come bring knowledge, power, understanding and growth.

Hail Satan! Hail Lilith! Hail the demons we associate with and all the hosts of hell!

Halloween/Samhain ’21

Our posts here have been rare this year. We have been busy living our lives and there hasn’t been much new to say in the blog. However, I don’t think a year has gone by in which we haven’t written something at this time of year connected to Halloween or Samhain. So we will continue the tradition…

We have covered the history and traditions of this time of year many times before (just use the search button). This year we are each going to give our own perspectives on what Halloween means to us. We have managed to come together as a family with Leonie visiting from her home in Vienna and the rest of our coven are also here for the weekend. Our weekend will really begin this evening and will continue as an extended ritual and party until sometime on Monday 1st November.

There are two themes of the season that stand out for me. The first is magic. I have considered myself a witch since I was in my teens and I was very much in the Maiden phase. Now that I am a menopausal Crone; a Satanic, dark witch, unbound by the New Age/Wiccan restrictions of my youth, the tapestry of magic available at this time of the year is all the more tangible to me. It is a time to dress and act the part. Still, in my normal daily life there is very little to give away my inner life. I don’t dress or act like a witch in any way. I am a well presented teacher and business woman. Halloween is a time when I can wear my dark heart on my sleeve. (Well, to be honest, for much of the coming weekend I don’t expect to be wearing much apart from my tattoos and a smile). But in between the hedonism I will be leading rituals and incantations and performing magic to enrich the lives of my coven family and myself. There won’t be any intruders, but if there were, they would witness the kind of flamboyant, ritualistic, dark witchcraft that is the stuff of some people’s nightmares. Magic doesn’t look like this all the time of course. Most of us can quite easily work spells in our daily wear and nobody would have a clue that we are doing magic at all. But Halloween provides the opportunity to dress up and drink in all the traditions of the past which supercharge our magical workings.

The second theme that is increasingly important to me is that Halloween/Samhain symbolises the thinning of the veil between life and death. It is a time that I bring to mind those who have passed on. Most especially my mother who in many ways is still my guide and inspiration. Her guiding principles were kindness in general and protection to me as her child. I still feel those things and try to uphold those principles in my daily life. Sadly several other friends and members of our extended coven family have passed on in the past year (several due to Coronavirus) so I will also be holding them up in my thoughts.


For me the two big events of the Satanic year apart from my birthday are Beltane/Walpurgis Nacht and Halloween/Samhain. They are times when I can fully express my inner self without having to explain or apologise to anybody. They are times when I can virtually guarantee to be surrounded by people who have similar views and lifestyles. Being a witch and being a Satanist are not things I have to be quiet about, rather they are things I have in common with whoever I am meeting with.

These days it also often involves meeting with my actual family and their coven, many of whom I have known since I was a child. Now that I live apart from them it is nice to catch up and see how people are getting on or how they have changed since my last meeting. Nowadays I only really get to spend quality time with Sophie and Cassie two or three times a year and in some ways there is more ‘quality’ to those times now the the dynamics of the past are over and we meet as adults on a similar path rather than as daughter and mothers. My relationship with their coven has obviously changed as well in a similar way.

My own Satanic beliefs are dominated by the philosophical, even political side of things. In most respects I regard myself as an intellectual, atheistic Satanist for whom Satan is a symbol of free thought and liberation. But this is a time of the year when I allow myself to get immersed in the magical, sensual and ceremonial aspects of Satanic life. I have accepted that while I can’t fully explain why, these aspects are an equal aspect of my satanic life.


Halloween for me is like Christmas for many that celebrate that Christian festival. But it is also a time when we underline and celebrate the fact that we are certainly not Christians. It is a time when I have my family close by. Cassie and I are joined by Léonie and by members of the coven which we have shaped and guided for the last decade. We have watched people learn, grow and change and they have seen those things happen to us. We meet not only as people with much in common but as people who have shared a journey.

It is a time when we emphasize those things which define us as Witches and as Satanists. Outside, people are trick-or-treating and celebrating a version of Halloween which becomes more popular every year. This makes me smile. I have heard people say that they prefer Halloween to Christmas. I think this is a sign that the Christian hold over people’s lives and lifestyles is declining. People explore the darker side of things in fun and games because deep down they realise there is a value in doing so. Moreover people are drawn to the forbidden and taboo aspects of life because at some level they realize they need to integrate those things into their lives in order to grow.

Halloween shows that genuine enlightenment is coming and the false religions are losing their power. The magic we work in private is working its way into the world.


According to an online dictionary the word “Pride” is defined as “a feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one’s own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired.”

A second definition from the same site is, “consciousness of one’s own dignity.”

Pride in oneself is an important characteristic of Satanic philosophy, and I think both of the above definitions apply strongly to those who follow this path. We are proud of our true selves and we try to live fearlessly in the world even when the world and it’s prevailing values often seem to be against us.

Sexuality is for many people a fundamental aspect of their true nature. For centuries the prevailing values of the western world were prejudiced against all but the narrowest band of possible sexual and gender identities. Fortunately this is becoming less the case. This weekend there will be “Pride” celebrations in many countries and cities around the world.

We know of many people on the LGBTQ+ spectrum who are also Satanists and who credit Satanism with giving them the confidence to express themselves and take pride in their true selves. We ourselves are amongst that group and we shall be celebrating Pride this weekend.

With both the above definitions in mind, I am exceptionally proud of my daughter and Satanic sister, Leonie. She is a strong and intelligent woman who knows her own mind and her own body. I urge you to read her thoughts on “Pride” here. LINK

As a family and as a coven we thank Satan for the insights and confidence that allow us to live our lives and celebrate our sexuality and gender with genuine pride.

Walpurgis/Beltane ‘21 Ten Years A Satanist

This year we are having a Satanist only, Walpurgis Party at our home. After a really difficult year, it marks a restart of sorts. There are lessons we all have to learn from living in the shadow of Coronavirus for more than a year. There was a stage when many of us thought we would be able to get back to normal, to how things had been before the virus struck. That was probably naive. The sensible way to proceed is to see where we can go from where we are, to live as fully as we can in the world as it is. In fact, that has always been the Satanic way.

I now understand that I was always a Satanist in my philosophy and the way I lived my life. But it was ten years ago that I ‘came out’, told my friends, told readers of my blog, joined a Satanic coven and really immersed myself in Satanic thought and lifestyle. While I was probably a bit hesitant at first (I remember deleting several blog posts and telling one of my first real Satanist contacts that I was just doing research for a book!) Satanism soon became the core of my world. The rest is history which I have spoken of before. For a lot of people now, I guess the only thing they know about me and my family is that we are Satanists. That’s okay.

And we are celebrating this weekend as a family, as a coven and as Satanists. I can’t help but compare my beliefs and lifestyle now with the person I was before… I celebrated Beltane for many years as a pagan. There are many elements of those pagan celebrations which I still incorporate and Paganism is in itself a large step away from the Christianised mindset of the western world. It is a religion and lifestyle I still respect. But for me Satanism represents not just an even larger step away from traditional western values, but a complete break from them and a recalibration of all morals and values.

As a person I have had to go through that process. I am a very different woman now as a result. Of course, I have also aged ten years and that brings its own changes in perception. One thing that has remained the same is an interest in morals and ethics. I was always intrigued and motivated by that aspect. I always wondered why some things were considered to be wrong or morally questionable while other things weren’t. I was always bemused by the hypocrisy of moral authority in the western world. Yet I also believed that some things were right and good and other things were wrong and bad. The question was about where to draw the line.

I cannot tell anybody what the answers to those questions are. All I can say is that I have found answers that make sense to me. That process involved totally letting go of what I generally believed to be correct and adopting a totally Satanic stance to all things, in order to see where such things led. I have tried to relate every personal decision from what I should eat for breakfast to who I should sleep with; from how to get ahead in my job to what to watch on TV… Absolutely everything. In so doing, my moral compass has been totally reset. I do still think there are some things which are generally good and others which are generally bad; but what those things are and where the boundaries are set, has changed.

This has been a large part of my journey, but these issues are not necessarily important to all people who decide to walk the Satanic path. Everybody has their own issues and priorities to deal with. For some it is about developing their magical skills. For some it is about coming to terms with sexual or gender identity. For others it is a purely intellectual pursuit. Some people develop in Satanism as a way of dealing with illness or overcoming addictions. Some are motivated by sex or money while others seek companionship or support. Everyone has their own journey in Satanism. My partner has changed her career, developed her musical and artistic talents and resolved some personal questions as a Satanist. Leonie has developed her confidence and become more politically astute and active as a Satanist. We each continue in our own journey. Within our coven the individuals grow in different ways and have different needs and priorities, but we accept that. We disagree and argue sometimes but we come together to support each other as humans who walk the satanic path; often misunderstood and misjudged by outsiders.

We celebrate Walpurgis to underline and reinforce our commitment to Satan, and we salute all those who are doing the same in their own way.

Dark Blessings to you all.


I posted this on the site my girlfriend and I started to talk about sex. To be honest, that site hasn’t had much traffic yet… I try to refrain from speaking too much about Satanism there but realised that this short post has little meaning without it. Satanism is the philosophy that grounds me. Without it I think I would either have gone completely off the rails with sex and drugs; or I would have denied my natural hedonistic nature altogether and struggled with depression in an attempt to be the perfect student. My Satanic upbringing and philosophy makes it possible to find a realistic balance in my life. I wouldn’t be me without it.

People Like Us

I recently celebrated my twenty-first birthday. Apparently this is an age in many countries and cultures where you are considered fully adult and are allowed to do all things in life from kinky sex to standing for political office. Well, I’m quite well schooled in the first of those things so maybe it’s time to start experimenting with politics!

Like many people in these strange times, I celebrated my birthday in the middle of lockdown. I was able to have a few socially distanced drinks with some neighbours and friends but the closest I could get to Lou Lou and my family was on a computer screen via zoom. Birthdays are important to Satanists for philosophical reasons but since I have been ‘adulting’ for quite a while already, the actual 21 landmark didn’t make much difference to me. More important personally was the fact that it is also the two…

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Alternative Valentines

And so say all of us!

People Like Us

This is a short message of love to all those who are single or who are in unconventional relationships.

Love and take care of yourself.

Honour your own truths and feelings.

Don’t be restricted by other people’s beliefs or expectations.

If you have a partner, love them as they love to be loved.

If you have more than one partner, share your love and respect as fully and equally as you can.

If you have no partner love yourself fully and let your love shine on whoever you choose.

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A cookery blog of sex

An open and honest blog about sex for those who have less conventional lifestyles is an idea that Sophie and I have toyed with occasionally. And now Léonie and her friend Louise have gone ahead and done it! Perhaps it always needed a younger more modern edge than us middle aged folk could manage. We wish them every success with it. ❤️

People Like Us

People Like Us, as the title implies is a blog for people like us whose sex and romantic lives don’t conform to conventions.

For too long sex has been treated as a forbidden, taboo subject. These days there are some bloggers, vloggers, writers, influencers and presenters who are starting to talk about sex in an everyday way, but there are not enough. We are going to add to the number and hope to encourage more to join. We DON’T start from the assumption that deep down everybody wants to be in committed two person partnership that leads to children and family life. We want to celebrate the range and diversity of sexuality and sexual relationships that people like us can enjoy.

Why do we say a cookery blog of sex? Well, sex is a bodily function just like eating. At a base level we need both to exist. We need…

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A Sinful New Year

This is our version of a cheerful, uplifting post to get the year started.

We had a debate about the photo to accompany this post. We all like erotic imagery (porn) but are nervous about offending the WordPress folk. We are aware that the mere sight of a nipple can send some folk into a state of apoplexy but hopefully those people won’t be reading our blog anyway. In any case we settled on a suggestive picture with no nipples. Enjoy!

But you are not supposed to enjoy such things, are you? It’s a sin.

Our Saturnalia celebrations this year were a slimmed down version of our normal winter debauchery; just the three of us and a few local members of our group in order not to break any covid restrictions. And for good measure we are all in self imposed isolation now to make sure we don’t spread any randomly caught germs to others. The positive lesson we learned is that you can still be sinful and stay safe if you plan sensibly.

Saturnalia involves a lot of music and dancing, good food and strong drinks, sex and laughter; things which make us human and happy. Religions such as Christianity tend to forbid such behaviour which they regard as immoral, selfish and shameful among other things as well as being s transgression against their idea of god. Luckily our “religion” is different.

We were all feeling down towards the end of 2020. Coronavirus and the lockdown restrictions connected with it have taken their toll on us as much as anybody. The immediate future still looks bleak. In terms of the three of us, the pandemic has real and actual impacts on most aspects of our daily lives. Our jobs, our studies and all the things we tend to enjoy are at risk. In addition we all know people who are suffering from coronavirus itself; and sadly, we know a few people who have died from it. But we can’t go round in a fug of depression. We might as well enjoy our sinful natures as fully as we sensibly can; and in doing so we have arrived in 2021 in better and healthier moods.

I guess in one way or another most people reading this are sinners. According to Christianity everybody is a dreadful sinner helplessly but inevitably stumbling from one sin to another. Their doctrine of original sin holds that everybody is born bad and life is a long and hopeless struggle against their own sinful nature. Hopeless unless you accept Jesus as your saviour, ignore your basic instincts and allow The Church to regulate your life and tell you what is right and what is wrong. Thus everyone who is not a Christian is a sinner. We are particularly bad sinners because we follow the enemy of Christianity and actively enjoy our sinfulness. Most people are somewhere in-between on the sinful scale. Our suggestion is join our side and be happy sinners!

Leonie has started contributing to a sexual advice magazine (she is planning to say more about that in her own blog). She directed us to an article (in German) which made a few points that resonate with us. You don’t have to be a Satanist to enjoy your sinful nature. Perhaps the main point it was making is that the world has changed and that while some of the old architecture and formatting still exists, the reality of many people’s lives doesn’t really fit with it. This is particularly true in matters of sex and relationships…

For example, the vast majority of books, films and TV shows still assume that most people want to be in monogamous, heterosexual, long term relationships blessed by the church or the state and that anything outside of that is somehow wrong. While there might be a growing acceptance (in some places) of different forms of sexuality, sexual and gender identity; it is still assumed that such people will want to live their lives according to the old monogamous marriage structures borrowed from outdated religious tropes. But is that true? How many people do you know who end up living outside those norms? Probably more than you think.

Perhaps Christianity is correct in saying that a lot of people’s lives are dominated by what those Christians call sin. Our argument is that what they call sin is actually not a bad thing at all, it is part of what makes us human and it is a sign of progress that more people are seeing sin in a positive way.

Sin is NOT evil or bad. Enjoying your true sexuality does not mean you are a potential murderer. Being in a non standard relationship doesn’t mean you will cheat on your taxes. Enjoying good food and wine does not make you turn into a rapist or an arms dealer. Participating in aspects of BDSM does make you corrupt or open to bribes. Having fun, indulging your senses. does not make you mean or uncaring.

Certainly in these difficult times you owe it to yourself and those around you to take sensible precautions but you also owe it to yourself to have fun and enjoy your sinful nature when you can.

Seasonal Blessings 2020

Our family are lucky enough to be together and we are able to celebrate Saturnalia with some local coven members without breaking covid restrictions. It will not be the same as other years. This holiday season will be different for most people and very difficult for some…

Saturnalia is a feast of hedonism and debauchery that grounds us in our beliefs and our rejection of many social conventions. Many winter feasts are times to remember who we are and what is important to us…

We wish all the best to our regular readers whatever their beliefs.

Realistically we know that 2021 will start off with all the same problems that have been a curse in 2020. But we hope things will get better.

Stay safe and be happy.

Love and Dark Blessings from the three of us.