Kinky Sex and Satanism

By Sophie

Our previous post was decrying the kind of exploitation people like Harvey Weinstein are finally having to pay the price for. One or two people complained that we have no right to complain about such things because we are into kinky sex ourselves and we even have a tumblr blog which is quite pornographic. Those complainers don’t get it at all! There is a huge difference between enjoying consensual sex in a variety of forms on the one hand (which can be very empowering) and being forced or coerced into unwanted sexual situations on the other hand (which is very dis-empowering). To put it another way; even if I dress in a way which is sexually attractive and openly speak about enjoying a variety of sexual practices, nobody in the universe has the right to touch me in a sexual way or expect anything more  from me unless I explicitly invite them to. There will be a few neanderthals who still don’t get it, but fortunately their time is over and all that remain of that type of sub human will soon be either extinct or in jail.

The title of this post is “Kinky Sex and Satanism”.  I am sure there are many who think that the two things inevitably go together. They don’t. Some Satanists including a few of our own friends have no particular interest in sex at all. In fact the majority of people we know in Satanic circles have rather conservative sex lives which are a private matter between themselves and their partners. However, one thing that the majority of Satanists in our experience do have in common in matters of sex, is an open minded attitude and a tendency to question, if not break, some taboos associated with it. I say some taboos… The taboos we tend to challenge and break are those which historically have been part of the rules and regulations of religions we reject, as well as those rules which deny our right to be masters of our own bodies and our own lives. There are a few rules which we don’t break however, not because they are taboo, but because in our own judgement such things would be plain wrong and go against our own values and the priority we place on recognizing the power and dignity of the individual. So the rules we don’t break are these:-  We don’t engage in any sexual activity with anybody against their consent. We don’t under any circumstances have sex with minors. We don’t have sex with animals. If anybody needs more of an explanation as to why we don’t do those things, they clearly need more therapy than I am expert or patient enough to give!

Having explained that not all Satanists have sex which could be described as kinky in any way and having clearly stated the things we would never do, I will now talk about some areas of sexual activity which some people think are kinky which some of us do enjoy.

The first thing to say is that we are hedonists. We think hedonism is a good thing. We think it is good for the human psyche and general physical condition to make the most of all pleasures life has to offer, including sexual ones. Perhaps we need to write an exposition on why hedonism is a good thing sometime, but for now just take it as read that hedonism is an important aspect of Satanic life.

A small but perhaps important point is that Satanism is not homophobic. While nothing is compulsory; we tend to be experimental, open minded and respectful of all forms of sexual identity and preferences. Personally I don’t see that as kinky but I guess some do. Often those who feel excluded by various religious authorities because they happen to be gay, bisexual, transgender or whatever, find Satanism a safe haven. Tina, Cassie and I are bisexual, but interestingly we rarely feel the need to describe our sexual tastes and preferences in such a prescriptive way inside our own satanic circles.

One of the things that some people might find “kinky” about Satanists and sex is that many of us do not feel obliged to limit our sex lives to our romantic lives. In many religions there are laws (written and unwritten) which stipulate that sex can only happen in a relationship between a man and a woman which is legitimized by the church or religious authority they adhere to. We reject that idea completely. It seems an obvious fact to us that humans have always enjoyed many forms of sex which happen outside recognized relationships such as marriage and we don’t think there is anything wrong with that. We think it is a normal and usually pleasurable aspect of human development and behavior. So for the Satanist there is the possibility to enjoy sex in all sorts of situations inside and outside of relationships. In reality it is just normal life. We suspect there are very few adults who have not had and enjoyed sex which is not in the context of a serious and “God-Blessed” relationship. We are just honest about it, and as hedonists we enjoy it as much as we can. Cassie and I love each other and I think it is fair to say the best sex we have is with each other. Hopefully no Satanists would underestimate the value and importance of love. When we first met, we only had sex with each other for quite a long time. But as our love and our relationship grew deeper and more mature, we no longer felt the need to restrict our sexual activities to each other. I think our relationship has become stronger as a result. Personally I think a lot of relationships might be stronger and more loving if partners allowed each other more sexual freedom… Maybe that’s just me… Anyhow, our lifestyle and our choices are not necessarily the norm for all Satanists, but Satanism does at least allow us to make those choices for ourselves and not be slaves to the norms of society.

Following on from the idea that some of us do not limit our sexual activity to the conventions of coupledom, is the fact that there is sometimes sexual content in our rituals. This does not occur in all Satanic communities or covens but it does happen in some; including our own. We do not have orgies as such, some do… However, nobody should be forced to indulge in any sexual activity they are uncomfortable with. In our coven we have learned from experience that having a sexual element in some rituals and magical workings adds great power to what we are doing. Symbolically and psychologically it can be extremely potent and influential in terms of personal development. It also bonds us as an extended family and is fun. Moreover, we do it partly because such behavior is forbidden and seen as taboo in Christianity and some other religions. We are reclaiming the space and circumstance and refusing to allow outside forces to dictate our actions. We are very much stating that sex does not have to be limited or controlled in the way many religions have tried to do over time.

In group rituals and individually some Satanists like to infuse a large degree of blasphemy into some of their sexual activity. Some pornographic images posted by Satanists seem to be almost exclusively full of this stuff. Personally I think that kind of thing can get excessive and therefore loses the point of blasphemy which is mainly to mock the powers which have been used to control people over time. Therefore in our own coven we tend to keep such things to the minimum so that when they do occur, they are more transformative. Moreover, we feel there are some significant health issues with some of those activities.

So perhaps this is the point to mention health. While in principle we allow ourselves to enjoy sex in whatever ways we want, we are also big believers in personal responsibility. Cassie and I grew up in an era when AIDS was still a big fear; and while it is not in the headlines as much these days, we are well aware that it still exists. Moreover there are all sorts of other sexually transmitted diseases, some of which are on the increase at this time. Therefore we urge caution. Cassie and I are at an age where we may be prepared to take calculated risks from time to time with people we know well, personally I think younger people should be even more cautious. I have a daughter who is hungrily and enthusiastically exploring and enjoying the part that sex can play in her life. She has been brought up in a Satanic household with Satanic values which she has heavily invested in herself. It shows; and I am delighted to see her blossom and grow in this and other ways. However, I of course want her to have a long and happy life and have equipped her with all the practical advice I can. There will always be risks attached to any form of sexual activity, but with knowledge and forethought it is possible to minimise those risks. Ideally Satanic women should be confident, knowledgeable and self empowered people who are not afraid to say No, or Not Unless….

Some people regard the various activities contained within the BDSM label as “kinky” and it is true that many of us do enjoy some of those things. Cassie tells me there are often elements of bondage in Wiccan and Pagan rituals. In truth I think most people enjoy or experiment with these things and that they are more widespread and normal in many people’s lives than is sometimes thought. Cassie and I have found that exploring our own boundaries within this field of sexual activity can be very enriching, satisfying, empowering and even beautiful. We have found that other Satanists are often into these activities for the same reasons and in order once again to be experimental, adventurous and challenge taboos. I think it goes with the Satanic mindset to a degree. However, once again, none of this is compulsory for Satanists and as I have said before, the sex lives of many Satanists are actually very conservative and mainstream. We can, but we don’t have to.

Is it kinky to like porn? Well I have to admit that Cassie and I enjoy some of it and a lot of our Satanic friends do as well. Perhaps that is just us and our kinky circle, but I doubt it. Again it is about challenging taboos and actually celebrating sex as a normal part of life rather than denying it. Cassie and I enjoy erotica that depicts all the things I have mentioned so far and lots more besides. We like to think our tastes in such things are fairly sophisticated, but I suppose even that is down to personal taste. What we don’t like however is anything that suggests rape or any form of sex that doesn’t involve the meaningful consent of all involved. We detest and report anything we see which crosses that line.

So called kinky sex tends to be more adventurous and breaks many barriers. As a result I believe it brings with it the potential for learning and personal growth. I am sure I know and understand myself better as a result of some of my sexual experiences. I think it has made me stronger in many ways, and more understanding of myself and others. I think it is a good thing.

Why have I written this post? Partly, I suppose, it’s that sex is a big part of my life and I get a kind of kick from writing about it… Partly it is to dispel the myth that Satanism is nothing but orgies and kinky sex, while at the same time admitting that for some of us it is a part of the Satanic lifestyle and experience. For any non Satanists looking in I think it is fair and honest to give an overview of the degree to which sex may play a part in our lives. But mainly in fact, it goes back to the Harvey Weinstein controversy.

Most women and men enjoy sex. Many of us enjoy sex which is described by some as kinky. Neither of these self evident truths apply only to Satanists. However, admitting to enjoying sex, even kinky sex, should not in this day and age mean that we are gagging for it with any man who passes our way. No matter how dull or how adventurous our sex lives are, NOBODY has the right to force or coerce us into any form of unwanted sex. I want my daughter to grow up in a world where she can enjoy sex as much and in whatever form she wants without being labeled in a way her male counterparts would not be. I want her to live in a world where sexual predators are few and are dealt with harshly when discovered. And I want her to live in a world where the latent sexism of the past is finally laid to rest. I am proud to be a Satanist and I think in many ways people like us are at the vanguard of positive change in society. Kinky sex is just sex. It is part of being human. I believe we have the right to enjoy that part of our lives without prejudice.

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One Comment on “Kinky Sex and Satanism”

  1. SirHeart says:

    you said ” we are into kinky sex ourselves and we even have a tumblr blog which is quite pornographic ”

    O O O ~ PLEASE SHARE ~ pu pu pu PUlease ~~~

    On Sat, Nov 4, 2017 at 12:14 PM, Devil’s Advocates wrote:

    > Cassie Sophie Tina posted: ” By Sophie Our previous post was decrying the > kind of exploitation people like Harvey Weinstein are finally having to pay > the price for. One or two people complained that we have no right to > complain about such things because we are into kinky sex o” >


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