Darker and DeeperPosted: May 16, 2015
I guess it it seems we have been quiet recently, well actually nothing could be further from the truth. Our lack of blogging is simply due to the fact that we have all been busy and I guess growing…
Cassie and I have been very busy at work. At the moment Cassie is in the middle of a teaching tour through Eastern Europe (or New Europe as some prefer to call it) and our times together have been quite few so far this year. I am preparing and marking exams and my daughter is revising for exams. We have not spent much time on the internet except for work related things or to make dirty Skype calls to each other! We haven’t been able to follow our favourite blogs in the Satanic and more general blogosphere and when I did look today it seemed that everything and nothing has changed. Some of our favourite Satanic and pagan bloggers seem to have been quite inactive themselves while as ever there seem to be quite a few idiotic and reactionary posts about Satanism from fundie Christians. To be fair, there are often some quite stupid posts by Satanists as well.
Anyway, our absence from the net has also been due to the fact that we are progressing on our own paths. At the start of the year Cassie and I were both feeling very reflective and wondering what to do next. Cassie was coming to terms with the loss of her mother and at the same time our little group was growing but lacking direction. The group was not quite completely Satanic in nature and included some pagans and a Buddhist. However the members (our friends) were looking to Cassie and I for leadership but we were not quite sure if we were ready or even qualified to take that on; or that we really wanted to. Hopefully this will not shock anybody but we had some doubts if the term Satanists was really an accurate description of our spiritual path. Both of us, especially Cassie at that time, felt that it could become too limiting. Moreover we are both grown up women and we knew that the two main options were either to retreat a bit and be more discrete about our beliefs or to commit even more fully and risk being even more open. The first option seemed more comfortable in some ways and as Cassie was going through a very emotional time I did think we might go in that direction. To be honest by that stage I knew it would be a struggle for me to step back and I was relieved when Cassie told me what she wanted to do…
We arranged to have two weeks in the UK where we linked up with some members of the coven Cassie used to belong to. It was an intense two weeks of meditation, reading and ritual in a rather beautiful gothic style location in the south west of England. We both felt the need to delve as deep into the dark side as possible, to be immersed in Satanic thought, magic and imagery and to learn and grow. It was for sure a turning point for me and I am pretty sure for Cassie as well and I think she will write about that herself.
I don’t want to sound too poetic or mystical because that is not my style but I have a returned with a certainty about what my true nature is, and think it is beautiful to have a soul which is 100% Satanic. Fuck! That does still sound over sentimental, but hopefully I can demonstrate the true sense of what I mean in more practical ways in future posts. Cassie feels the same but she expresses these things better.
The first practical outcome of this was that our informal group has indeed become a fully Satanic coven with Cassie as the leader. Well actually we run it together but I think of Cassie as the leader. Nobody dropped out; in fact we got two new members.
And what it means for me personally is that I fully accept and enjoy the fact that being a Satanist is going to be fundamental to my life going forward. I really want to be a Devil’s Advocate (as the title of our blog implies) and be a strong voice for the positive things Satan and Satanic philosophy can offer in the modern world. I don’t want to preach or convert anybody but I do want what I write, say and do to be a good example of Satanic thought and life and therefore challenge some of the negative stereotypes that go around.
As for my daughter Tina, she is in her own way just as committed to Satanism as Cassie and myself. For her at the moment it is more of a philosophical stance and I know that she has found it very empowering. It has helped her in the process of growing up and I don’t think it is just mothers pride but she does seem to be maturing more quickly and more fully than many of her peers. I dare say she will write her own views about that when the exam stress has passed.
So, to summarise, while we have been absent from the Internet, much has been happening and I see it all as positive. Hopefully the three of us will soon have time to be posting here more often again soon. Watch this space!
Hail Satan and hail yourself!