is Satan God?Posted: March 28, 2014
(Sophie’s First Post on Devil’s Advocate)
I have always been an atheist. I’ve lived most of my life in Switzerland which has a Christian tradition but is mostly secular. My family and I were completely atheist though. I always thought the idea that there was some God somewhere sitting on a cloud in judgement over all of us was ridiculous… A bad fairy tale. Anyway I always believed in Science and still do. The Big Bang, evolution, natural selection; these are the truths that make sense to my mind.
But I think I always had a spiritual side too. I never thought religion and spirituality were the same thing. I do believe we have a soul and that our souls can grow and learn from one life to the next. The scientific part of my brain thinks this takes the form of some sort of genetic memory, like instincts…Therefore I became a Buddhist. Most Buddhists are in fact atheists. Nirvana is not some other heavenly place but more a state of mind or consciousness that can be reached with work and practice. I did a lot of practical things like meditation and chanting and found wisdom in many Buddhist teachings. It was good, but for me something was missing. It was almost too clinical and scientific…
Then I met Cassie and she told me about Satanism. I was interested and started reading up on it while Cassie was away on her travels. I was hooked! Satanism seemed more earthly and grounded in the true reality of human life. I’d never heard of the Left Hand Path before but it sort of made sense to me. It wasn’t a pretty or idealistic path in some ways but it seemed honest… Or at least if I was honest with myself, that was the path I was on; self centred, a bit hedonistic, but taking responsibility for my own actions. (I don’t like the term “self centred” because it doesn’t really mean what people think, but I can’t think of a better phrase. Maybe I will think and write more about that one day).
I really identified with the atheistic strand of LaVeyan Satanism. I think I would have hated Anton LaVey if I had met him in person, but I do really like his books especially The Satanic Witch. So in my mind I became a Satanist and told Cassie about it. I think at first Cassie was a bit worried that I was just trying to please her… Well we discussed about that… Soon though she fully accepted and supported me in my decision to become a Satanist.
There was something about Cassie’s Satanism which was a real curiosity to me though. She called herself a Theistic Satanist and seemed to believe in a real and actual thing called Satan. This seemed as silly to me as believing in any other kind of God Person. Now I knew Cassie wasn’t stupid or easily fooled so this really didn’t make sense to me. She told me that she believed Satan was more of any energy than a person but she still treated it like it had a personality and, although she didn’t bow down in worship exactly, she did show this thing respect and, well, love I suppose. It didn’t make sense to me! And yet this thing seemed to affect her in a positive way and give her spiritual life an energy and dynamism that mine still didn’t really have.
Cutting a long story short, I wanted to experience what she was experiencing and I asked her to help me achieve this which she did. I won’t go into details about the ritual we performed together but it was certainly life changing. And yes, I experienced this thing called Satan. Cassie had told me how it first affected her when she made that connection. With me it was similar but different. At first it was like I was suddenly plugged into an energy source like electricity, but instead of being killed by it, I just felt more alive than ever; there was a real thrill of feeling it pass through me. The next thing which was intense for a few days and which I still feel when I connect was a strange feeling of noticing and being amazed by the details of natural things. I had had this feeling before when smoking marijuana, for example you pick up a leaf and become transfixed by all the intricate structures in it. But this was much more intense and I was not stoned at all, in fact I could think more clearly and quickly than ever. I could see the beauty of the science that makes things what they are.
So I had had an experience I could not deny to myself. There was something called Satan. I had encountered it and I liked it. But perhaps you are thinking this was just some kind of supernatural “high”. I guess heroine can be intense and make you feel good for a while, but over time it can destroy you… But there was far more to it than what I have been able to describe. It was the beginning of an ongoing connection in which the main emphasis is on downloading information and power which can be used. I’d call Satan a teacher who understands his students well enough to educate them at their own pace. But does this make him God?
Well it depends what you mean by God.
I absolutely don’t believe in the Christian God, that old father figure who sits in the clouds judging us by things that don’t make sense. Nonsense. Nor do I believe that there was also a guy called Jesus who was a man who had a part time job of being God. Therefore it does not make sense to believe in the Christian idea of Satan.
However the universe is an amazingly complicated thing which even with the best of our science we only understand through a glass darkly. I think there are energies and forces which we don’t understand yet. Perhaps there is a force which some humans have encountered and then in order to explain it they came up with the Christian myth. Perhaps there are other entities in the universe which humans have interpreted as Gods. Perhaps the nature of these entities sometimes oppose each other and thus the stories we create to understand our experience of them also oppose each other. I don’t know. I only know that I encountered something which is on the same wavelength as me… Just far ahead of me. Something which not only opposes the Christian ideas I disagree with but also stands for something in its own right.
I don’t think that Satan is really a half man/half beast superhero who sits in a fiery place in the ground; but I do think that image is one of the things we can focus on to connect with satanic energy. I speak of energy but Cassie and I also believe that Satan has a personality, or at least boundaries. This means that some things are Satanic and some things aren’t. Some people claim Satan is evil, but I think that is just because Satan represents things they don’t understand or don’t approve of. In any case, intellectually I don’t think it is possible to see good and evil in anything other than relative terms. Satan just is what Satan is. Is a tree good or evil simply by being a tree? Is an elephant intrinsically good or evil? Or how about opium which can deliver people from pain or steal their lives altogether?
I still believe in the Big Bang. Did Satan make it happen? I don’t know but I do feel he, she or it was a part of the mechanism of it’s happening. Although… I also get a sense that Satan is particularly connected with the Earth in some way…
So is he a God? I don’t think so in the old fashioned understanding of the word, but maybe in a newer meaning of being part of the energy that is fundamental to the way the universe works… In that case yes. And certainly in the sense of being an ancient an wise source of power and knowledge. But unlike the Christian and many other religion’s concept of God, Satan’s power and knowledge is for sharing so that we can grow without limit.
Satan is my God in the sense that he stands for what I stand for, but just on a bigger scale. And here I come back to a more LaVeyan stance. Ultimately Satan is US; it is what we aspire to be with all the boundaries removed. It is what we could be and what we may become… And yet it already exists in the complexities of time and space that make up our universe. Satan is the realisation of our own potential. Hence we say, Hail Satan, Hail thyself!
Cassie and I are both teachers. We try to impart knowledge and help people to grow. I guess this is a concept that resonates well with all educators and parents who want the best for their students and children. So if God means the ultimate teacher, then Satan is surely our god.